CNN and Anderson Cooper did a piece on the Pearls a few nights in a row. They are investigating the death of a seven year old girl who was beaten to death by her parents. They found the book To Train Up A Child in the couple's home, therefore, the Pearls' teachings on spanking must have caused the death of this girl, right?
To me, this would be similar to blaming a doctor who prescribed drugs to a patient and the patient overdosed on the drugs and died. Is this the doctor's fault?
CNN interviews the Pearls and a lawyer, who is blaming the Pearls for the death of this girl. CNN reported that the parents "pummeled their daughter for hours and caused horrific injuries all over her body." The parents themselves admitted to "regularly beating their children."
The Pearls said that the spankings they gave their children "never left a mark." They said that there is a difference between hitting and spanking. A hand is used to hit someone and a little switch is used for spanking with the intent of getting the child's attention.
Michael Pearl then proceeded to get a little switch like the one he used on his children and swat the anchor man's leg to show exactly what "spanking" looked and felt like. The man said that it hurt a little but it left no marks...
The Pearls love children. They have five grown healthy, joyful, and happily married children. We were with them for a week. They live what they preach. They even write books about child sexual abuse to help save children, Samuel Learns To Yell and Tell and Sara Sue Learns To Yell and Tell. These are GREAT resources to help protect your children from sexual predators, which is becoming rampant!
So to say that the Pearls caused this atrocity is irresponsible. To be fair, I think CNN did a fairly good job of questioning the Pearls' influence in this horrible behavior. However, I have read some blogs the last few days who despise the Pearls and their work and would love to see them punished.
The Pearls have also gotten a lot of criticism about Debi's book Created To Be His Help Meet. I wrote my defense of the book here ~ Created To Be His Help Meet.
The Pearls have also gotten a lot of criticism about Debi's book Created To Be His Help Meet. I wrote my defense of the book here ~ Created To Be His Help Meet.
Thankfully, God is their defender. He will take care of them...
Here are the links to the program if you are interested ~
Part Two
You may not agree with everything the Pearls teach, but they are not evil people as some are accusing them. The sole responsibility for the death of that child, lays squarely on the shoulders of those parents...Not the Pearls.
You may not agree with everything the Pearls teach, but they are not evil people as some are accusing them. The sole responsibility for the death of that child, lays squarely on the shoulders of those parents...Not the Pearls.
I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.
3 John 1:4
Logging you in...
Marnita · 710 weeks ago
Marnita
Charity · 710 weeks ago
Becca · 710 weeks ago
Although not a parent yet, I believe there is a difference between spanking and beating; unfortunately it appears the parents of that child doesn't know that difference. If there are othre children in that family, I ask that the Lord protect from. And, I praise God for removing her from a bad situation.
Carla · 710 weeks ago
Wish I could give you a great big hug!! Thank you! My husband and I were just speaking about this last night. Our world is so upside down. I can honestly list a dozen things that did more harm to my spirit than my parents spanking me. I'm thankful they loved me enough to spank me. They NEVER beat me!! Just a simple swat on my bottom...and NEVER with a hand! Hands are for loving. Prayers for the Pearls.
Michelle · 710 weeks ago
Linda · 710 weeks ago
HallofFameMoms · 710 weeks ago
I agree, people have to take responsibility for their own actions. I didn't walk away from To Train Up a Child to beat my boys to harm or death. Some people will just go too far with anything.
Linda · 710 weeks ago
Melissa · 710 weeks ago
kittybrat 115p · 709 weeks ago
Consider that To Train Up a Child (which I have read the older and the updated editions) is a book teaching parents to abuse their children. One has to go no further than the chapters about breast feeding, or disciplining toddlers. Read the book, really read this book.
That said, of course these parents are wickedly guilty of torturing their child to death. The Pearls did not kill her. They did, however, encourage the twisted "discipline" that is hardly appropriate.
They are complicit in that they set up a mindset of breaking a child's will and control that leads to violence.
Lori Alexander 122p · 709 weeks ago
Can you give quotes where the Pearls teach you to abuse your children? When you throw out accusations like that, you need to prove them or you are just slandering someone unjustly. I have read that book and didn't read anywhere that they think it is okay to abuse children.
Their children all grew up to be happy children...They must have done something right!
kittybrat 115p · 709 weeks ago
From the Pearl's book, chapter 1 found here: http://www.achristianhome.org/to_train_up_a_child...
"STEPS TO OBEDIENCE
One of our girls who developed mobility early had a fascination with crawling up the stairs. At four months she was too unknowing to be punished for disobedience. But for her own good, we attempted to train her not to climb the stairs by coordinating the voice command of "No" with little spats on the bare legs. The switch was a twelve-inch long, one-eighth-inch diameter sprig from a willow tree."
"OBEDIENCE TRAINING--BITING BABIES
One particularly painful experience of nursing mothers is the biting baby. My wife did not waste time finding a cure. When the baby bit, she pulled hair (an alternative has to be sought for baldheaded babies). Understand, the baby is not being punished, just conditioned...After two or three times of biting, with the accompanying head hurting, the child programs that information away for his own comfort. The biting habit is cured before it starts. This is not discipline. It is obedience training."
These are just two examples. Pulling an infants hair? Why not simply remove the food source for a minute or two? It is a wonderful non-violent alternative.
Also, a baby gate or other barrier works wonders for restriction of stairs. Switching a baby is hardly appropriate.
These are examples of abuse at a very tender age. There is no reason for hurting a child in this manner. It is disgusting.
I was able to raise my four children into loving, responsible adults without pulling their hair or taking switches to them as infants. Most people do not commit such violence upon their babies. To do so is to raise quivering, broken spirited people who will obey you, but out of fear.
Lori Alexander 122p · 709 weeks ago
A little smack on the leg isn't considered child abuse. We did that with our children so they learned quickly when we said "no" we meant it and they obeyed. It is much easier to teach your children immediate obedient (it could save their lives) than to rearrange your home.
When any of my 4 children bit me when I was nursing, I flicked them on the cheek one time fairly hard. Sure, it hurt a little and they cried but they never did it again. A little pain never hurt anybody. In fact, pain is a great motivator to chose to do right instead of wrong.
So, I still don't see where the Pearls encourage child abuse. I did the same things they did and my children are disciplined, gentle, and loving adults. It is very easy to teach your child to associate pain with disobedience when they are young so when they grow up, they will enjoy living a good life that chooses right paths.
kittybrat 115p · 709 weeks ago
You said, "A little smack on the leg isn't considered child abuse." and I would agree. I do think using a switch on an infant IS child abuse.
I spanked my kids. Using a switch on them, however, was never necessary. A swat does not have to hurt physically, as it is a startle and attention getter. A swat on the diaper will not hurt as you are saying "no" firmly and removing the child from the situation. But a switch on the legs is painful, cruel, and unnecessary.
When you were breastfeeding, you flicked your kids for biting? Biting is natural. Removing from the breast is just as effective, without the violence.
I find it disturbing that people think the Pearls' advice is healthy.
Lori Alexander 122p · 709 weeks ago
As soon as my children started crawling, I would slap their hand if they tried putting their fingers in a light socket. That little amount of pain could save their lives. Also training them to not climb stairs with a little hit of pain could save their lives also.
I can't see how you could think that or flicking a child's cheek to stop biting (which could do great harm to a Mother's breast if not stopped quickly) could be seen as violent!
We are causing a small amount of pain to prevent much greater pain later on.