Thursday, July 5, 2012

The Most Unhappy People


Selfish people are the unhappiest people on the face of the earth.  They suppose that joy is found in owning things and getting their way, yes they are deceived and do not know the truth.  Real life is not about what we own, but what we give. 
{Joyce Meyer}

I mentor many women.  Those who refuse to love their husbands can't be helped.  They see their husbands as being the sole problem in their marriage.  Yes, maybe he isn't a great husband but you are still commanded by God to love him.  If you continue to not love your husband, you will never be happy.

The reason they don't want to love their husband is selfishness.  They want to cling to their rights and how they feel they should be treated.  They only have their eyes on themselves instead of on God.  The best thing they could do was to forget about themselves and their feelings and focus upon God and what He tells them to do.

I am commanded by God to teach the young women to love their husbands, whether he is a christian or not.  That is what I do.  God doesn't give us any commands that we are unable to fulfill.  He works powerfully in us to accomplish His will.  You will never be happy until you obey God, until you love your husband.

No, it isn't going to be easy but it does get easier the more you practice loving him.  The most important thing you can do is change your thinking.  Stop thinking negative thought about him and only good thoughts.  Renew your mind with God's Word.

I think the opposite of love isn't only hate, but selfishness.  We are called to be living sacrifices, deny ourselves, and to serve others.  This must include our husbands.  For some reason, a lot of women just don't see this clearly.  I know I didn't for many years.

So begin to be generous with your husband, especially with your love.  Start showering him with love.  Obey God.  God wants your best.  By obeying him, you will be a MUCH happier person.

And the Lord make you to increase and abound in love one towards another, and toward ALL men, even as we do towards you.
I Thessalonians 3:12

Comments (9)

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It could be a largely an American concept. We grew up with Disney. The prince does all the work and rescues us from hard labor (Cinderella is famous for that). Real life consists of hard times, maybe not dragons but hard nonetheless. It is during those incidences women forget to love their husband or refuse to. We think our princes should make everything better. It doesn't work that way. I've learned by the grace of God over my three year marriage so far that men are not put here to serve us only. We need to find fulfillment in God and his love. We need to serve them. We need to rescue them sometimes with our wisdom, ingenuity, or sensitivity. It is sometimes easier said than done. But it is worth being obedient because the rewards are great, peace in your soul is one of my favorites. Also, it is surprising how my husband responds. He appreciates the respect and care and really steps up. But the times he doesn't I pray for God to help me continue to be unselfish. I definetly don't have it down but I try to keep myself in check by going back to God. Much love, Victoria   
1 reply · active 664 weeks ago
ERDR'swifemomof12's avatar

ERDR'swifemomof12 · 664 weeks ago

Excellent perspective. Thank you.
Cynthia Swenson's avatar

Cynthia Swenson · 664 weeks ago

I believe we are in the "end times" & we see the "love of many growing cold". We see much of this even in the church. I just have to cling to Jesus & pray when I see these things. I know I STILL have some of this selfishness in me but by His grace alone I know He is growing His Spirit in me and I see the evidence; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, & self-control. Galatians 5:22. He is faithful to "forgive & cleanse us from all unrighteousness" when we confess our sins to Him.1 John 1:9. Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia
ERDR'swifemomof12's avatar

ERDR'swifemomof12 · 664 weeks ago

Thank you, Lori. Yesterday was spent with thoughts along these lines, wondering how to close the gap of a huge life which separates and divides. How can I shower love on a man who is almost always gone from home, distracted by huge career demands and a huge family? A good friend told me that when he IS home, I should follow him wherever he goes, watching and admiring him, even if he's just catching up on the news or redirecting the sprinklers in the yard. Let our husbands constantly see and feel how much we adore them, with no asking back. Truly shower them so much they need an umbrella!!!!
1 reply · active 664 weeks ago
"Let our husbands constantly see and feel how much we adore them, with no asking back. Truly shower them so much they need an umbrella!!!!" That is so beautiful, ERDR'swifemomof12!!
For sure!

Turning my thinking round to align with these truths has made a tremendous difference in my marriage. Though not perfect, my marriage is beautiful now.

Blessings,
April
Excellent post.. Sadly my brother and his wife are like this.. She is never satisfied, he is always miserable...They are both very selfish people and they have no time or room for God in their lives.. money rules their lives.. I used to get angry at them for the way they are but now I pity them and pray for them that God will unharden their hearts.
Robyn
I love your posts about marriage and advice to wives. I appreciate you so much!
Thank you! I can certainly use constant and frequent encouragement in this area!
My husband and I have been working on this. It is interesting that many people are like this. I just thought it was me.

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