Wednesday, July 11, 2012

You Can Always Get Divorced



I always give one piece of advice to couples who are about to be married, another piece of advice to couples who are married, and a third piece of advice to couples who are breaking up.

1} To couples about to be married:
'Don't worry. You can always get divorced'
This seems to lift their spirits because it removes the pressure;

2} To couples who are married:
'Just do what works, and don't do what doesn't work.'
It never fails to clear the fog;

3} To couples who are getting divorced:
'Next time remember: The only reason to get married is to have fun.'
This gives them a happy goal!
{E. Jean Carroll, advice columnist for ELLE magazine}

If this is the advice couples are following today, no wonder marriage is in so much trouble.  When Ken and I got married, we decided the word divorce would not ever be in our vocabulary and we would never threaten each other with divorce.  We were in it for the long haul, for better or for worse.

There is comfort in deciding this in a marriage.  Marriage should be about commitment,  a commitment until death do you part.  There should be pressure when looking for a spouse knowing that it will last a lifetime.  Find a godly spouse with deep roots in Jesus...an oak tree!   With Jesus as your foundation, you have a much better chance of your marriage lasting for a life time.

The only reason to get married is to have fun???  What about when your spouse gets sick for many years?  What about the time your husband has to work three jobs just to make ends meet?  What about when all of your children are sick?  To go into marriage thinking its only purpose is to have fun is ridiculous.

There will be many hard time in marriages.  Hello!  That is what is called life.  Life will always have ups and downs and the key is to weather those times together.  Be there for each other in thick and thin.  Laugh and cry with each other.  Hold onto each other.

Don't listen to the pop psychology of today unless you want to walk down the path to destruction.  God hates divorce for a reason.  Ask people who have been divorced or have been affected by it.  It hurts badly.  Do everything you can to prevent divorce.  Remember, being joyful is a choice.  It is not based on circumstances or other people.  Choose to be joyful and love your husband all the days of your life.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother
and hold fast to his wife,
and they shall become one flesh. 
Genesis 2:24

Comments (9)

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I totally agree with you regarding marriage. We get so many questions when people find out that we've been together for 18 years and known each other for 24 yrs. Can you believe someone actually asked us if we ever get bored with each other?!
I can't believe someone would actually be giving out that advice!! People don't really look at marriage as a "til death do us part" commitment. I take the vows we said on our wedding day very seriously. We made a covenant with God, and that is not something He takes lightly. My husband and I have been married for almost 4.5 years and honestly-the first 3.5 were really hard. But we went to marriage counseling and have both made changes to better ourselves and our marriage and I am so happy that we've stayed together. Sometimes things still are hard, we have to make sure that we aren't becoming complacent and are constantly trying to make things better. People get married to be happy when really marriage should make you more holy. Great post!
I read this a while ago as well and it stuck in my brain as such a HUGE lie! I am so glad you wrote about it, how terrible to think that people actually council that way. God must be so grieved as He watches marriages crumble.
That is is the most INSANE and sad advice I have heard in quite a while. Almost to hard to believe. A society that lives by their flesh is a very unhappy society!
Great post :)
I wonder if the person giving that advice is aware that 2nd marriages have a higher rate of divorce than 1st marriages?
At first, I thought YOU were writing that advice and I thought "oh no, she can't be saying this!" Then, I realized it wasn't YOUR advice! lol Thank you for the prayers, by the way. Things have been much better lately, and we had a wonderful talk about things. I do appreciate it very much! http://13plumconfessions.blogspot.com/2012/07/25-...
I can't believe they actually published that! Actually, I shouldn't be surprised with the world having the outlook on marriage that it does, but it breaks my heart that 1) someone would actually think that's good advice and 2) people would actually take that to heart and apply it in their own lives.
Thank you for discounting it as the lie that it truly is!
I'll never forget sitting in the kitchen of a friend's house with his fiancee and her mother (it was about 2 wks before their wedding) and her mom was telling her, " if it doesn't work out you can always get divorced." I almost fell off of my chair! I remember thinking, that's the advice you're giving your daughter before she gets married?? Needless to say, they're divorced today with two very sad children.
Thanks for this informative post. Keep posting dear!

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