There are WAY too many children raised in "Christian" homes that are walking away from the Lord. It truly grieves my heart. I have told you I am not too emotional but when I hear about another friend of my children who walked away from the Lord, I cry. It breaks my heart to know the enemy has stolen another one.
It seems to be happening way too much these days. Debi Pearl's daughter, Shalom, has written an incredible article about her upbringing and how wonderful it was. They were taught to save themselves completely for their future spouse, not even kissing until their wedding day. They loved and respected their parents. Their parents ALWAYS took the time to listen to them while they were growing up, so all five children ALWAYS listened to and respected the advice their parents gave them.
Their parents taught them to work hard and enjoy it. It was part of life and being a family. Now, they all work hard and are training their children to work hard. What their parents did best, however, was to love each other deeply. Children need security in this insecure, unstable world. They should get that security at home, then they won't be looking for it in another teenager's embrace, drugs, alcohol, etc.
Also, too many fathers are not involved enough with their children. They are chasing after the almighty dollar instead of investing their lives into their families. This should not be so! Michael Pearl heavily invested into his children's lives as Shalom pointed out ~
While growing up, we always worked as a team to maintain the home front and to put food on the table. We learned responsibility by being made responsible. We never felt as though work was an unwelcomed exception to life; it was life itself. The tomatoes we planted, weeded, watered, picked, packed, and sold were a necessary part of living. We did not just play and watch our dad do all the work. Yes, we played and had more fun than most kids I know of. {They were not allowed to sit around and watch television, play video games, sit in their rooms for hours every day away from their family, etc.} We would all work together, and then we would play together, Dad right in the middle of everything, cheering us on to be the best at our antics, whether dropping into the water from a rope swing or trying to catch a chicken.
Children need to be trained from the time they are babies to be self-disciplined, work hard, and most importantly, to love Jesus. These are the ingredients for a healthy childhood. Build your children's lives upon the Rock with a lot of love, hard work, and play and you will most likely see beautiful fruit from your hard work.
Labor not to be rich: cease from thine own wisdom.
Proverbs 23:4
***You can read all of Shalom's fabulous article HERE.
Logging you in...
Kim · 557 weeks ago
20 years ago, a coworker who rejected God stated how church is more like a social club. Over the years, I came to agree. I could never put my finger on it on why it was cliquish. When we studied 1 Corinthians, I began to understand. We are not converting, with the majority of church members being raised in the church. By not converting, we are not people focused; we don't have anyone who new converts can relate to and have as an example. When I have problems, I get blank stares or rolled eyes, and I'm on church's team. I think that is why people with issues find me because I'm raw and to the point. I think that is why so many people are leaving.
Where does leave me? Exhausted and drained, looking for a soft spot to land.
angela · 557 weeks ago
While I enjoy and find wisdom in many of your posts, it's these sorts of entries that trouble me. It almost seems like a "formula" ....and if it's followed just right then you will have children that walk in truth. This is just not true. God's Word tells my husband and I to instruct/train our children in His Ways. We seek Him and pray for each of their hearts to know and love Him. We can do our best and still there is no guarantee.
I personally came from a family of non believers. It was God who saved me. At the age of 27 my eyes were open by Him. John 1:13 says, "To be a child of God has nothing to do with human parents. Children of God are not born because of human choice or because a husband wants them to be born. They are born because of what God does."
Yes, there are blessings and consequences to the choices we as parents make but ultimately it is not us that has the power to save our seven little ones....their salvation is in the hands of the Lord. All glory to Him.
Blessings~~angela
Cynthia Swenson · 556 weeks ago
Ken · 556 weeks ago
The point of John 1:13 is to distinguish natural birth from rebirth, physical birth from spiritual rebirth. The words, "nothing to do with human parents" is a poor and improper transliteration as the context is trying to distinguish between physical birth and spiritual birth, NOT trying to imply that parents have NOTHING to do with their children's rebirth.
It would be like my teaching my child to be baptized after they are saved. I might say, "I led my child to be baptized," And you say to me, "You had nothing to do with their baptism, as it was the pastor who immersed them and the Holy Spirit who did the actual baptism."
Let's look at what we do know from scriptures and some you have already pointed out:
1) We are called by the whole of scripture to raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord;.
2) We are promised by God that if we train up our children in the ways they should go "they will not depart from it;"
3) We are called to teach God's ways so that our sons and then their sons so will not forget them and depart from them: "Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life: but teach them to thy sons, and thy sons' sons" (Deut. 4:9).
The old adage "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink" applies to this discussion. Our job as parents is not to "save" our children, but to be faithful in our role as parent to raise them to see Jesus in our lives and to understand all that it takes to become born again. The born again part belongs all to God, but we the parents are the instrument of His salvation as we allow Christ to live in and through us and faithfully follow our responsibilities before the Lord.
The purpose of marriage is "to raise godly offspring," and by far the overwhelming 90%+ of children born into godly Christian homes accept the faith as their own. Those who do not are the exception, and what Lori laments is these exceptions, but we know that some of this has to do with Christian parents not being faithful to their calling. What should surprise us is that ANY walk away from the Lord because we do have the promise of God on the subject. Lori and I never have doubted that our children would not be faithful to Jesus, simply because we believe in all of the promises of God and we stand firm on this promise. If one walks away we would be so disappointed, but we would be certain that they would return to Jesus and be with us in eternity. If there is any surprise it would be when we get to heaven and ask God why we could not stand on His promise. We certainly were going to do all we could to nurture them in Christ AND protect them from the world's influences.
The first part many parents do, and the latter they simply do not heed the many words of scripture to establish such protections. Instead they buy into the world's thinking and allow their children Spring Break trip, secular colleges, girlfriends and boyfriends, the list goes on. They stop parenting right when parenting is so much needed because they believe the world's lies that somehow a teen will rebel, or not mature properly, if certain standards are maintained so long as the teen or young adult is in the home.
Yes, we could raise a child in the Lord and they can choose to depart from Him at any time. Love does not exist apart from a choice not to love. I have seen godly, wonderful parents raise kids who have walked away, and I will add that I have seen most come back at some point in their lives. The story of the Prodigal plays out regularly in Christian homes.
You and I are called only to be faithful, and the question is not, can we save our kids, which we cannot, but can we be a reason why our kids are never saved? I shudder at the thought, and I know a sovereign God who chooses whom He wills will be just and fair, but does that absolve the huge responsibility a parent has to be faithful in raising their children in the Lord? By no means.
We may not get the credit for our children walking away from the Lord, but we certainly will be held responsible if we do not raise our kids in the Lord. They are a part of the talents God has given us and He will ask an account for what we did with the investment He entrusted us with. All we can say is that we were faithful to His charge as a parent to raise them in the Lord. The rest must be left to Him and thank goodness He fills in many of our deficits.
angela · 556 weeks ago
You say, "He fills in many of our deficits," implies that He somehow relies on you....
We are obviously very theologically different.
cassie · 556 weeks ago
Cynthia · 556 weeks ago
I really liked the following quotes:
"They loved and respected their parents. Their parents ALWAYS took the time to listen to them while they were growing up, so all five children ALWAYS listened to and respected the advice their parents gave them."
Very true! Children crave our attention, and by treating them seriously, we have a power tool to be in a position of influence.
"What their parents did best, however, was to love each other deeply. Children need security in this insecure, unstable world. They should get that security at home, then they won't be looking for it in another teenager's embrace, drugs, alcohol, etc."
Again, very true! When children feel loved and secure in their home and family, they don't flee elsewhere. This doesn't mean that a happy child never goes outside or wants to travel! It does mean, though, that wherever they are, they will want to connect with us. Memories of home and family will be cherished - and that means that they will be more likely to follow our example and cherish our values. Sadly, I see children who don't have that love and security, and it is so hard for them to find their way. They struggle with relationships, because they never saw a loving, safe relationship in their early lives. If they feel rejected by the parents, they often react by rejecting their parents' values - even though some of the advice may have been good.
"Also, too many fathers are not involved enough with their children. They are chasing after the almighty dollar instead of investing their lives into their families. This should not be so!"
Amen.
Mbb · 556 weeks ago
Anna · 556 weeks ago
In most states DHS will remove the children from the mother if she does not divorce the father. They tell her that if she is willing to remain married to the father she is putting the kids at risk, even if he is in jail. So many moms, to keep their kids in their custody, go ahead and divorce the dad. The Pearls also suggest, in their article, taking the kids to the jail to visit the father that abused them. Again, DHS would see that as placing the kids at risk, supporting the abuser, etc.
I get where te Pearls are coming from. I agree that marriage is not to be exited lightly. But in some circumstances, the advice they give is naive.
Not to mention that some of us were (sadly) abandoned by our spouse for someone else and given no choice in raising our kids alone or being divorced. :( At this time, my husband can't obtain a divorce b/c he has no grounds, but after 18 months of being separated (which HE initiated by leaving) he can file and I have no say so.