Control. It is the curse from the garden and almost every woman I have ever mentored struggles with it. "Her desire will be for her husband..." Our desire will be to control our husbands and we must stop giving into this curse. For we are told we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us.
Stop trying to control what he watches, what he eats, what he wears, what he does with his free time, where he goes, etc. You are his wife, not his mother. Yes, he may have heart disease and eats terrible. He is not obeying the doctor and you only nag him about his eating because you want him to be healthy. This is NOT your responsibility unless he wants you to hold him accountable. If not, give up ALL control and you won't believe the freedom you find in this.
He watches too much television. He plays too much golf. He spends too much money. He drinks too much alcohol. And on and on the list goes. You may have a hundred reasons why you feel justified in trying to change his behavior. Hundreds, but you still don't have the right to try and control him. This is not your job. Men are not attracted to their mothers. You were created to be his help meet, not his conscience. Share your opinions with him a few times and then let it go.
He is a man now. He gets to live his life the way he wants to live it. He didn't marry you to nag him. In fact, a lot of men are scared to death to get married for fear they are going to be nagged to death and have to walk on eggshells in their own home. They feel they aren't going to get to live life the way they want anymore but have to live with a general that tries to control them with her emotions, tempers, silent treatment, avoidance of sex, or anger.
A true help meet doesn't try to control and change her husband no matter how right she thinks she is and how wrong her husband's behavior. Our job is to love, serve, please, submit to and obey. This is our job description for it is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife {Proverbs 21:9} and a continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike {Proverbs 27:15} and it is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman {Proverbs 21:19}.
Now, you don't want your husband to feel he has to sleep on the roof, listen to constant dripping, or live in the desert, do you? He should be able to sleep in his comfortable bed where peace reigns with his air conditioning on! We need to make our homes comfortable places for our husbands. They need to be places he longs to be in, not miserable.
Therefore, dear wives, go to work making your husband at home. Help him by loving and serving him. Let him see Jesus in you and this will draw him closer to you and the Lord. Let all of your controlling nature go. Release it today. Let it go!
