Monday, July 7, 2014

Men, Find Yourselves A True Help Meet!


Michael Pearl and Voddie Baucham counseled their sons to not marry a woman who wants to make her mark on the world and have a career. Find a wife who wants to be their help meet, not a help meet to a boss or a career. Find a wife who wants to be hands on with their children, teaching them and disciplining them full time, not leaving that job to someone else. Find a wife whose greatest desire is to be a wife and mother.

You see, women today have been sold a bill of goods. Most young girls aren't being raised to want to be a wife and mother. They are being raised to want to be men; to be independent, in control, strong, career-minded instead of home-minded. This has caused havoc in marriages, upon children, and upon society.

We are not called to be that way. No where in the Bible does it tell older women to teach young women to be loud, independent, or career women. It tells us to teach young women to love and obey their husbands {be a help meet full time to them}, love their children {be with them consistently teaching and training them}, be pure and chaste {have a gentle and quiet spirit that does not want to draw attention to yourself but to the Lord instead}, be keepers at home {KEEPERS AT HOME} and to be good {desiring to be home loving on their husbands and children and pointing them to Jesus}.

Women in this culture, including Christian women, hate this message for some reason. For me, when I finally heard it and understood it, it was like a breath of fresh air since it is all I ever wanted to do in life. I know for many of you who read my blog, it is the same for you. God's ways are good. They are for our protection, women. For our children's protection. For our husband's protection. NOT to make our lives miserable and keep us from the "good" things in life. All those supposedly "good" things in life turn out to be bitter in your mouth.

Satan doesn't want women at home. He wants them away from the foundation of any society. He wants them too tired to please their husbands and teach their children. He wants them giving their strength to others besides their families. Don't fall for the trap! Obey God. Come home, dear mothers. Come home

Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
I Peter 3:3,4

Comments (44)

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I agree with you! I do think that a large part of the problem is that many men want their wives to work. Materialism has taken over in many homes and the work that the mother does at home is not valued the way it should be, even by their husbands. So often both husbands and wives lead pressure cooker lives with both working and children become part of this harried existence.
1 reply · active 559 weeks ago
What about older women working very part time? I work 12 hours. I tend my home with diligence and take care of my grandkids 1 day a week also. I have always struggled with this, as I am a firm believer in young mothers being at home. The older woman (No children in the ho use) has more free time, but it may be a personal issue between husband and wife. It isn't real clear (or may be) on the older woman. I know we must set an example for younger women too. Confused:)
9 replies · active 559 weeks ago
Great post. I remember being a little girl and answering "a wife and mommy" when people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up. It's something I've desired since I was very young. I am fortunate in that I did get to be a wife and mom at home for several years, although I had to do some work from home to help earn money to pay our bills, but I didn't feel that took away from my "keeping at home". Unfortunately, my husband doesn't earn enough to cover our bills and food, despite his working overtime every day. We don't have a lavish home, take vacations, go out to dinner, or shop at expensive stores. He feels that I need to work outside the home in order for us to have enough money for him to pay the bills and buy food, therefore being his help meet in that way.(Our children are old enough that we do not need to pay for childcare.) I know he wishes I didn't have to, and that's my wish as well. I feel terribly guilty every single day. How can I make sense of it?
2 replies · active 559 weeks ago
I totally agree but would imagine this blog is going to lead to a lot of defensive comments. I continue it hope and pray that the pendulum would swing the other way when it comes to the breakdown of the family. When the importance was on raising the children to be good, God fearing, and productive members of society. When the accumulation of material goods was not the presidence. It's such a trap for so very many.
1 reply · active 559 weeks ago
Hello Lorri, I feel so sad to think even little girls want to be Dr. And whatever they think would be a fun thing! What happened to wanting to be a Mother and have sweet babies.
Still on holiday but I wanted to say you keep speaking the truth as we have so many women running to the worlds education and Mammon and stuff!
Yours
1 reply · active 559 weeks ago
I am in total agreement with this. I have seen so much damage and destruction to both daughters and sons when a mother is absent from the home, even part of the time. Her mind is divided and her energies are on the wane. It is impossible to be diligent and alert to heart issues when our minds are getting ready to leave or solving a problem (in our minds, at least) back at the workplace. Thanks, Lori :)
1 reply · active 559 weeks ago
I used to work only every other weekend as a nurse and I found myself so divided and stressed about it. I have been home for 5 years now and there is NO WAY I am returning to work short of my husband dying. Back in the 80's there was a commercial for this perfume and the jungle went, I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never never let you forget you're a man...because I am a woman...Enjoli" I think that is the name of the perfume. I sung that song to my husband and told him I couldn't be that and then quit work. He has been happier since because I have been less stressed.

Plus my kids have really blossomed since I have been completely home because they have my full attention. I don't feel divided. I am lucky or I should say blessed that my daughter wants to be a wife and mom only and hopefully be getting married next summer to do just that.
1 reply · active 559 weeks ago
I can relate to this all to well. When I met my husband I was a working single mom in a field with all men... I worked at an Auto Parts store. This was before I had the wisdom of Yahweh. I found myself trying to be my boss's help meet not in a romantic way at all but it lead him to have romantic feelings for me. So when I got married to my now husband it really but a strain on our newly wed marriage and we still carry some scars from it. I honestly had no idea my trying to be a hard worker and please my boss was creating us to have an emotional bond that was truly meant for my husband. But this taught my husband and I a mother and wife's place and it is making a great difference so I praise Yahweh for teaching us wisdom and discernment for our marriage and family life and beyond because I believe your relationship with your home and family sets the stage for other relationships that you have. I am now a stay at home mom whom is planning on home schooling all my younger children.
1 reply · active 559 weeks ago
Thanks Lori for a great post. It is so sad to see how Satan's lies have permeated even our evangelical churches too. I am so thankful that I have a pastor and his wife who agree with us as to moms being in the home raising their children. Our church has allowed the home schooled children to use the gym for their use. We also have a organic food coop to help the families save money and eat healthy. Anything we can do to strengthen the family unit is encouraged. I am praying for a Titus ministry and if I can do anything, I am willing. I struggle with a severe adrenal fatigue problem so I must pace myself, but can do something.
1 reply · active 559 weeks ago
There isn't a boss, in the whole wide world, who I could love, serve or care, for more then my husband!
My husband comes first.
1 reply · active 559 weeks ago
This is an excellent post. Maybe it's just the blogs that I frequent, but I'm seeing a resurgence of younger women making an effort to stay at home and raise their families. Even though I'm old, I get a lot of information from the younger ladies' blogs about keeping a home and all that goes with it. It's so fun to see the young 'uns getting it.
1 reply · active 559 weeks ago
We should keep in mind that even some prominent feminists today are outspoken about allowing women the choice to be Stay-at-home Moms without feeling like they are second class or missing out on something. Their position is that feminism should be about allowing women a choice to do whatever they want in life, something that we as conservative Christians are also not opposed to. We want freedom for all to choose their path, ideally based on scriptures, but if not, so be it. We certainly would never want to legislate SAHM's or force anything of the kind into society except for a healthy dialogue on the issues as it relates to Christians. See this interesting article:
http://nymag.com/news/features/retro-wife-2013-3/

If a wife and mother chooses to, or feels she needs to work outside the home, all who can should support her, even if we disagree with the decision. We can have strong views on the subject of young SAHMs needing to focus on raising a godly family and yet allow grace for those who choose differently. The message of the scriptures stands for all who will listen, but individuals have to make their own decisions before the Lord, hopefully after weighing all the facts and the costs.

Both working and not working has a cost to it, and each family must choose how to best serve the Lord. We just think far too many have bought into the world's pleasures, and that is what pushes them to work, not necessarily feminism. Just pure old, "I have to keep up with the Jones" thinking. That cannot be blamed on feminism, as getting nicer toys, nicer homes and security is a part of the flesh and has infiltrated most of us, especially here in the US.
Great post, i agree with you; but i have a question: while a girl is not married it's wrong to study, have a degree and work?
1 reply · active 559 weeks ago
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Lady Virtue · 559 weeks ago

Something is very wrong if a woman who professes to being Christian has a hatred for the message of this post. It is simply reiterating Biblical truth. If the Lord is bringing conviction upon you because you need to repent, then please do so. It will cause you to love God's truth and prevent His Word from being blasphemed, which is what happens when women fail to embrace and live out God's normative design for us to marry, bear children, and guide the house (see I Timothy 5 and Titus 2).
2 replies · active 559 weeks ago
As a woman who works and has a masters degree I'm always a little disheartened by men who seem to think that a woman who has developed a career cannot be a home-minded woman. I only have a career because I needed to earn a living and was not married in my early 20s. If I'd had my d'ruthers I'd have been married right out of college and only worked outside of the home until having kids. But because I was not married and don't have the ambition or talent run my own business I chose a career where I can help others. I'd still love to be a stay at home mom - it's still a great life goal of mine in fact - and I hate feeling like I'm completely out of the running because I'm nearly 30 and I have a career - without men my age even getting to know me!
I am a working mother of five and yet my heart is at home. I think it can be arranged so that it is possible to work and yet have home and husband as the priority. I do see the detriment to girls believing there is little value in motherhood and homelife. So sad.
1 reply · active 559 weeks ago
Totally Agree! <3
I need this today! Thank you and I truly mean that I am in a spot of feeling like I am drowning and I need air. This was the air I needed today thank you!
I'm a FT wife and homeschooling mother and I believe God calls women to stay home with their children. But I do think a family style business, especially when kids reach their teens, is a great option. They learn finances, budgeting, time management, customer service - all while maintaining unity, togetherness, discipleship and ministry. But when that's not an option, I believe that women are needed at home full time.
Oh my word, I think this is the BEST blog post I've read on this blog ever!!!!!!!!!!! (I just recently started reading this blog so I'm sure there are MANY more wonderful posts. But you expressed so perfectly what is happening in our society and the desire I have had (from small childhood) to be a stay at home full time wife and mother. This is so encouraging. I love the truth in this post. I hope many women see this post and are equally encouraged towards being at home!!! :)

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