When a bunch of us girls were talking about the guy we wanted to marry as we were riding the school bus to junior high one morning, we were talking about the qualities we all wanted in a husband. I said I wanted to marry a Christian and someone who didn't smoke. All the girls thought I was WAY too picky!
During the summer before my junior year in high school, my mom would take a bunch of us to the beach. There was one guy who always came with us who I had a huge crush on. I thought he was so handsome. I finally turned 16 at the beginning of September. My mom wouldn't let me date until I was sixteen. He asked me out on a date on my birthday. I was so excited! What a wonderful sixteenth birthday this turned out to be.
He took me to a drive-in theater. The movie had hardly began and he started kissing me. {I had never kissed a guy before this time.} Then he threw me down onto the front seat and laid on top of me. He wanted to have sex with me! I told him to take me home immediately. I will never forget that drive home. He was so mad that he hit the median in the middle of the road and our car almost rolled over. That was the last date I ever had with him! All that summer and spending time with him, I never could have imagined him taking advantage of me like he did. I thought he actually liked me. {I can't even begin to imagine what would have happened in today's culture, sadly.}
I dated several guys in high school. They were great guys who treated me well and we had fun together. I eventually broke it off with them since they were not as committed to Jesus and His ways as I was, so I knew it could never go anywhere.
God protected me in college. I went out on dates with quite a few guys but none of them worked out. All the guys I liked, didn't like me and all the guys that liked me, I didn't like. My senior year, at Christmas time, I went home and announced to my mom and dad that I would never get married since I had never met a guy I wanted to marry and he wanted to marry me. My parents laughed and still remind me of that comment to this day.
When I went back to school, Ken's best friend asked me if I wanted to go out on a suite date with his roommate who happened to be Ken. I had briefly met him before Christmas vacation and felt some attraction to him. I said "Yes" and we knew we were meant for each other and have been together ever since! We had our first date in January of 1980 and married in December of the same year. We were both 22 years old.
So even though I wasn't clearly taught about purity growing up {"Don't have sex until marriage!" was all I was taught}, God protected me. I always loved Him and wanted to please Him, even in my dating relationships. I am very thankful he gave me a Christian husband and one who doesn't smoke! He heard the desires of a 12 year old girl.
Delight yourself also in the LORD;
and he shall give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4
***The picture was taken at Westmont College where we met and
were ready to go to one of the formal events the college provided.
Logging you in...
prov31 19p · 558 weeks ago
Katie · 558 weeks ago
Katie · 558 weeks ago
Kathy · 558 weeks ago
You will not go wrong by following Lori's blog. I found her blog about 2 years ago. I am a woman in my early 50's, raised 4 children, and am married for the second time. I have reaped much wisdom and truth by reading what Lori and her husband share on this blog. It's not always been easy to read some of it, but being convicted of our wrongs is necessary if we are to grow. Conviction of this kind is far to lacking in our world.
I made many mistakes in my first marriage. Also as a parent. Obviously I can't go back and fix those mistakes. I have repented and sought God's forgiveness for it all. Which leaves me in a place of great desire to share with others about God's never ending love and mercy.
I will never know if having a blog to follow such as this one would have made a difference, but my guess is that it would have. I did a lot of things right in my first marriage, and raising my children, but the main thing I did wrong was not being the submissive wife that Lori so greatly tries to teach us to be. The kind of wife that is straight from scripture. God's words to us.
I believe even if I had lived with my first husband as a submissive wife it would have been far different for my children. Much better for them. The example set would have served them greatly as they grew up and became adults themselves. I've seen them struggle as adults from living in a house of tension, arguments, unhappiness, and hypocrisy.
I'm not sure what you being raised in a strict Catholic family has to do with any of this. I am a devout Catholic and truly love what my church has to offer me through the holy sacraments. We are a church of scripture and tradition.The mistakes I've made and sins I've committed have nothing to do with the particular church I'm a member of. I believe we need to be saved everyday. It's not a one time thing.
It is so easy to feel confused in this world we live in. We are so bombarded with mixed messages. From social media and even "well meaning" friends and family. I feel your confusion and pain over it all.
I have been married the second time for 6 years. I want you to know that I was starting to make some of the same mistakes as I had in my first marriage. As hard as Lori's message can be at times, I know she is a true woman of God. The direction she is trying to lead woman of all ages, and positions, is absolutely right on.
You will not regret following her blog, taking it to heart, and putting it to practice. You can listen to those around you and on your media, or you can take it from someone who had lived both ways. Someone who will always live with the regrets of how it could have been different for herself and others in her life.
I'm very thankful that God lead me to Lori's blog. It helps me be reminded of the wife, and woman God wants me to be. My current marriage that isn't perfect, because we are human and flawed, but God is blessing me in many ways. Through prayers, sacraments, scriptural and other spiritual reading, such as this blog, I've learned how to be a better wife. The kind of wife that makes for a peaceful, happy home, and marriage.
I pray for blessings, on all marriages, especially young marrieds, as they struggle to find their way. May they be lead to places of truth and wisdom. Places such as this blog.
Thank you, Lori and Ken
hiswife522 43p · 558 weeks ago
We must remember as we accusations that this is the action of the world. They will lie, and falsely say all kinds of evil to those who cling to Jesus. Don't just trust them, read the person in question and check it against the Bible. (This applies to all teachers, even those not being attacked, we should be checking every Christian teacher against the Bible, which means we must know the Bible to begin with).
Thanks Lori!
And blessings Kate - Lori's blog has been a HUGE encouragement to me. I didn't find it until after God already changed my heart, but it's a great encouragement now as I walk my life.
Katie · 558 weeks ago
Rachel · 558 weeks ago
It seems your heart is in the right place and that you mean to help, to offer counsel in light of Gods order and ways. I hope that I would submit to the ends of the earth to my husband just as we do, the Church, submitting to her groom, Jesus. Marriage is a sanctifying miracle!
Also, so nice to read of your dating story. I wish mine had been different, other than wild teenager, but God eventually rescued me and has set my feet on solid ground. 17 years of loving marriage and 5 lovely, exhausting;) children. Smile.
cassie · 558 weeks ago
thefrugalwed 20p · 558 weeks ago
attunga lodge · 558 weeks ago