Several older women have asked for my advice lately about finding a husband. Most advice is to simply wait on God; in God's perfect timing, He will bring a husband into their life; if you don't find a husband, God will change your desires.
I am not sure I agree with this advice. Would we give that to someone looking for a job...just wait on God; in God's perfect time; He will bring a job into your life, or He will change your desire? NO! We would tell them to go out and apply to many places. Look your best and practice interviewing. Go to school and get a degree, if needed, and do all in your ability to find a job as well as asking God for wisdom all along the way.
I would give the same type of advice to someone who was trying to have a baby...have a lot of sex, take your temperature, learn when your body ovulates, get as healthy as you can, and go to doctors to make sure everything is working. If you can't get pregnant, explore adopting a baby or two or more.
The same advice should apply to single women. Take a look at Ruth. She was so bold to even go into Boaz' room and sleep at his feet! She made herself very available! {No, I am not suggesting you go into any guy's bed to get him! You must never do this.}
Therefore, get as healthy as you can and the best shape you can get into. Eat healthy and practice moderation and self-control. Exercise every day and move your body. Dress as feminine as you can afford. Put on some makeup. Then smile A LOT! Men are attracted to joyful women. Search out eHarmony and Christian Mingle and give it a try. I have had older friends who found their spouses there.
Find a bigger church if you need to and one that has a large, active single's group, then get involved. Make yourself available for godly men to find you. Since we are a remnant, we should use modern technology to find each other! Attend No Greater Joy's Shindig if you are bold and have the finances.
Step out of your comfort zone. When you meet godly guys, look them in the eyes and listen to them. Really listen to them. Laugh at their jokes and be feminine with them, not loud and boisterous or flirty. There are just too many older Christians who aren't married and long to be. This just should not be so. I know men and women in this situation.
Then pray with confident expectation that God will grant you the desires of your heart. Thank Him for preparing a godly husband for you. Delight yourself in the Lord. Ask God for wisdom in going to the places your future husband may be. Be hopeful. NEVER give up hope! Believe God's promises.
Delight yourself in the LORD;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4
Logging you in...
Gently Led · 559 weeks ago
When I finally tried eHarmony (b/c a good friend found her husband that way, and I could see how well-suited they were for each other) at first I felt a little guilty to take matters into my own hands. Then I met my husband that way (who tried eHarmony b/c his agnostic sister suggested it), and it was very clear that it really was God's plan! But neither of us would ever tell someone to just wait. (We were 36 and 42 when we married, and had waited long enough! And are sad to have only 2 children, when if we had started younger, we probably could have had more.)
Kristen Kliethermes · 559 weeks ago
Gloria · 559 weeks ago
Kay · 559 weeks ago
Kay, England.
Janet · 559 weeks ago
Your post goes along with the following articles.:)
Are we supposed to be actively looking for a spouse? http://www.gotquestions.org/spouse-looking.html
Should a Christian use a dating service to find a spouse? http://www.gotquestions.org/Christian-dating-serv...
jsr · 559 weeks ago
TheJoyFilledWife · 559 weeks ago
Right before I met my husband, there were several men who were interested in me. Most of them, while good friends, just didn't have strong enough spiritual leadership for me. No matter how much I liked a man, or how much he loved God, or how hard he worked, or even how attractive he was on top of all that, I had no interest if they weren't able to spiritually lead me. I was very solid in my faith as a single woman and found that most Christian men were very intimidated by that. I was glad that was the case because I wasn't interested in timid men anyway.
I am a very passionate woman, so timidity would have been very difficult for me to live with in a spouse. I don't think that just applies to women of my personality, though. I think that, when it comes to the Godly, loving men out there, I see far too much timidity and far too little assertiveness and confidence. I think being assertive and confident can be learned and doesn't rely on personality. When someone is looking for a spouse and they find someone they like, if they are too timid to put themselves out there and express their interest, they are probably going to miss out on some great potential spouses.
Right before I met my husband, I had a strong Christian friend who I would occasionally go walking with on my days off. He was a really nice and gentle guy, and we had some good conversations. Female friends of mine would tell me that he was interested in me, and I could sort of tell (emphasis on "sort of"), but he never really said anything to me that confirmed that. He had a lot going for him with being a strong man of faith, he owned a home, had a longtime job, desired children, was into living a healthy life like I was...but he just lacked assertiveness. If I had desired a relationship with him, I probably would have dropped hints, but, being that I'm so passionate and assertive myself, his lack of confidence in expressing his desire made me feel less feminine around him. I wanted a strong man who would pursue me...who would "lead the charge". To this day, that man is still single and hasn't pursued anyone he's been interested in (he's in his mid 40s now) because he's too timid to put himself out there. It's truly sad because he really would be a great catch for a godly woman. I think that was a great example to me of the importance of not being so afraid of rejection that you fail to take a chance on expressing your interest, even if you're a woman. Confidence is a very attractive quality to the opposite sex.
My husband is a very confident, assertive man. When he wants something, he says so, and he really doesn't over-think it or hesitate because of "what ifs". I was immediately attracted to his confidence and how he ran right past all the other men who were interested in pursuing me, as if he never even saw them. I initially turned him down when he invited me to something for the first time, but that didn't discourage him. Some people give up too easily, and the reason I turned him down was because I misunderstood what he was inviting me to, not because I wasn't interested in him. Imagine if he had given up after I say "no" the first time!
My husband got to know me well right away through deep conversations he would spur on about topics we were both passionate about. He did his homework on me. The first time he took me out to dinner, we both knew we'd end up getting married. His boldness in the faith, as well as his ability to teach me and challenge me spiritually (the first man who had been able to do that) was very attractive to me. It was his confidence, commitment, and bold faith that won me over. Every other positive attribute was just icing on the cake. Our friends refer to us as "the dynamic duo" and I just love being married to someone who knows where they're going and doesn't let inhibitions or naysayers stand in the way. Again, confidence is an attractive quality in a mate.
TheJoyFilledWife · 559 weeks ago
We don't have to be something we're not in order to attract a mate, but we show men that we consider ourselves valuable when we take care of ourselves and do the best we can with what God has given us. Oh, and let's not forget the type of men we'll attract based on how we dress. Most men would tell my friends that I was "out of their league" because I dressed very femininely yet modestly, took good care of myself, was very passionate, had a strong walk with God that didn't depend on others, had high standards of purity, and because I was confident in my value as a daughter of the King. When you display your God-given value through confidence, faith, and femininity, you are going to catch the eye of strong men of God who won't want to let you slip away. God created you with immense value - don't be afraid to let others see that great worth.
hiswife522 43p · 559 weeks ago
Blessings
Lady Virtue · 559 weeks ago
I'm going to share this with some single women I know. Thanks!!
simplysaidsoliloquy · 558 weeks ago
Valeria · 558 weeks ago