A man's battle is with his sexual nature and a woman's battle is with her emotional nature. I have heard this and I have written this but I have changed my mind. Yes, a man's battle is with his sexual nature. In the womb, the male baby gets a testosterone wash. They have ten times the testosterone that women have.
I went over to my son's home recently and Emma opened the door for me. She is three years old and she had a pink, fluffy Bella dress on. Then out walked my grandson in only a diaper. He's only one years old but he had his shoulders back and looked like a stud! Even from childhood, the differences are so apparent and I LOVE them!
Men will always have to battle their sexual nature. Maybe it will get easier as they get older and their testosterone levels decline but we must always remember that No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it {I Corinthians 10:13}.
However, I have changed my mind about a woman's battle. Yes, we have to learn to control our emotions, but I think our greatest battle will be to not control our husbands. When we confess this to our husbands and help him to realize that this IS a battle, maybe they will have more compassion on us in our battle as we try to have more compassion with them in their battle with their sexual nature.
Since our curse was to "desire" our husbands, meaning to control them, it makes sense that this will be our greatest battle. When we confess this to our husbands and acknowledge that our trying to control them is wrong, it will help them to see that we truly don't want to control them anymore and are working on giving it up.
Am I a 100% non-controlling wife? No! However, I am MUCH better than I use to be. It is something I have to battle. Many women use their emotions to control, so emotions do play a role in it, but I think the root problem is our curse, which is the need to control.
The verse I quoted above for men and their battle against their sexual desire applies the same to us in our battle against control. We can be overcomers through the precious blood of the Lamb. It may mean having our husbands hold us accountable and telling us what makes them feel we are controlling them. We have become so good at controlling them in such subtle ways that we may not even realize ways we try to control.
Half of the battle is already won by just admitting what we are battling and our desire to stop. Then we need to confess it by bringing it to the light and begin working on changing through the Holy Spirit that lives inside of us.
Don't give up, women. It is a battle we can win. I am sure of this! I always think positively when there are things in my life I want to change since God promised me that I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!
Logging you in...
Becky · 557 weeks ago
katy010305 45p · 557 weeks ago
Christine · 557 weeks ago
Which is part of the battle to control.
Shari · 557 weeks ago
Deb · 557 weeks ago
Heidi · 557 weeks ago
I am at the moment learning about submissiveness and my hubby is such a nice guy that he will do anything he can for others if he can, errands for parents with a moments notice for example which is lovely except when as a family we have something planned and then that gets put back or on hold!
Thank you for the post - you are a blessing to many of us.
Heidi x
helen · 557 weeks ago
I am getting better the more years we are married but it is still a daily challenge :)
Blessings
Helen UK
Ken · 557 weeks ago
God intends believers to live in community and to rebuke, admonish and pray for the sins of our spouse, if they will let us. I suggest going to your spouse and sharing with him your innermost secrets, even the sins and ask for his help. If you can make it work where he joyfully, playfully and consistently catches you on your control issue, then you can ask if there are any struggles or sins he might want you to hold him accountable.
Here is the irony in this suggestion, that many things you may want to control in your spouse, now your spouse wants you to help hold them accountable for them. If they request your help, then help them with a smile instead of a frown. Simple friendly reminders.
I have asked Lori to hold me accountable for what I watch on TV. She goes to bed early and I go to bed late, and just as she kisses me good night she might say, "I will set no worthless thing before my eyes" (Psalms 101:3). I can't say too much because I am the one who asked her to help me in this way. She truly is a helpmeet to me, instead of a nag or controlling.
Obviously if you or your husband do not desire change, or to stop sinning, then you will not ask for your spouses help. But deeper connections come when we are fully known to our spouse, sins, warts and weaknesses, and they choose to love us anyway.
Cynthia · 557 weeks ago
Lori, you have recognized that an extreme desire to control others was your weakness. Perhaps God intended Ken to be your soul mate precisely for this reason, to counteract and balance this aspect of your personality.
I can think of other women, though, who struggle with being overly meek.
I know I struggle with my low energy levels and the fact that I'm a natural introvert, so it's more of an effort for me to reach out and connect with others and focus on their needs. My husband complements me, since he is very much an extrovert with tons of energy (he revs me up, and I calm him down).
By contrast, I have a good friend who always have tons of energy and who is very social and focused on those around her - so her weakness is making time to take care of herself, and gossip. [Gossip can start from a place of good intentions - if you are naturally sociable and interested in others, you naturally talk, but it can be really hard to avoid saying anything negative about others.]
These are just some examples - there are so many more.
Brit · 557 weeks ago
Kelley · 557 weeks ago
My wheels are turning. *smile* The Word of God is definitely our Guide and Authority on this, isn't it?
Happy week,
Kelley~
RTD · 557 weeks ago