God designed sex, well, actually He designed lovemaking. Lovemaking is suppose to be between a husband and a wife to unite them as one, to provide intimacy between the two, to produce children, and to satisfy our sexual desire. Many have quickly ruined this beautiful act given to us by the Lord.
A friend just informed me that many young men are having trouble holding an erection when they are with a woman due to the amount and types of pornography they view. She said her friend who lives on the other side of the world said it is a huge problem in her country also. I personally know couples where the husband only wants oral sex or isn't into lovemaking with his wife since he watches so much porn. There is not much lovemaking going on anymore. Lots of sex, but little lovemaking.
When I was growing up, it was difficult for men to find porn. They had to go out and buy it hoping no one would find out. Everyone knew it was wrong. Now, eveyone can get it with a click of a mouse. Many movies even have porn in them. Just watching other couples have sex on a big screen has reduced our nation into a nation of peeping Toms.
God made lovemaking to be private; shared between married couples who have committed their lives to each other. We are commanded to keep the marriage bed undefiled {Hebrews 13:4}. Lovemaking is a very beautiful thing when it is done the way God created it. Man has completely defiled it to where many young men will never know the joy of true lovemaking to the woman they have promised to love "until death do they part."
If a young man and woman want to "make love" and they aren't married, they are simply having sex. Making love only happens within the boundaries of marriage where there is a commitment. There can be no true love without commitment. Sex outside of marriage is NOT commitment and a very cheap imitation of the real thing.
If a young man and woman want to "make love" and they aren't married, they are simply having sex. Making love only happens within the boundaries of marriage where there is a commitment. There can be no true love without commitment. Sex outside of marriage is NOT commitment and a very cheap imitation of the real thing.
Pornography is destructive and addictive. It reduces lovemaking to sex; an act with no intimacy. It destroys marriages. Do everything you can, Mothers, to protect your children from its deadly influence. This is a large reason why I don't think Christian parents should be sending their children to public schools anymore. Most children have iPhones and can introduce your innocent children to the vileness of porn with just a push of a button.
We must be vigilant to know where are children are at all times and who they are with. God calls us to raise them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. You need to take this command very seriously or the world will capture them and pervert everything that the Lord created to be good.
It's amazing to me how few parents talk to their children about these things. You MUST unless you want to lose them to Satan. It is a spiritual battle waged in the heavenlies for the souls of our children. Tell your sons that if they fool around with porn, they are ruining their chances of having a future godly marriage with fulfilling and satisfying lovemaking.
Don't let Satan have your children!!! Teach them God's Word continually. Hide it deep into their hearts. Help them memorize a lot of verses. They must know God's Word. It will be their protection from Satan and his wiles. Read Michael Pearl's writing on the evils of porn and read it to your sons when you feel that they are old enough.
Make knowing and loving Jesus look like the most wonderful thing in the world! Be joyful and love your husband and children deeply. Pray daily for your family and for a hedge of protection around them. Do all you can to protect them from evil and then trust the Lord.
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
Proverbs 5:18, 19
Logging you in...
Robin J Cox · 526 weeks ago
BDSM porn is particularly unsettling and destructive, and now we even have this variety in mainstream movie viewing: Fifty Shades! Oh, how can we continue to insist that perversion is normal and to be embraced, even by Christians, to "enhance" a marriage? Let me tell you from experience: it does not "enhance" anything in the marriage and it isn't satisfied until it's stolen all intimacy, emotionally and physically, between the husband and wife. It leaves it's victims in the ashes of it's fiery wickedness.
Joy · 526 weeks ago
Maria · 526 weeks ago
Cori · 526 weeks ago
Anonymous · 526 weeks ago
Far before pornography David committed adultery with Bathsheba, Sodom & Gomorrah exsisted and Paul had to teach on sexual immorality to every church he wrote to. In America, most every town had at least one whorehouse and most had several. In other words, sexual sin has always been rampant among men (and women). This is not a new battle, just a new form.
Also, much damage has been done to women in what is considered biblical sexually. Christian romance novels, Lifetime movies, etc don't line up with what the Bible's godly men and women and it's teaching on sex. Lovemaking & intimacy are words hardly found, if found at all. Many of our christian hero's had several wives- some given to them by God or commanded by God to take them as wives. What is considered pure & biblical today by devout christians (especially christian women) between husbands & wives is not the accurate portrayal of sex in the Bible.
I largely suspect that this is a church thing, because you see women in the world not holding these beliefs- in fact they go far past and act in depravity.
I guess what I am trying to say is that christian men and women have been damaged- just in opposite directions. Just speaking in generalities here, not specifics cases for we all know of couples where a husband or wife carries the baggage & sin in the relationship. Women cling to words like lovemaking and intimacy- and the notion of what, how & when sex like that is is supposed to happen and define biblical by bad teaching & bad influences and men get caught in the bondage of porn both before marriage and after marriage for different reasons. And because of the damage of "lovemaking" and the depravity of porn we continue to hurt and sin against one another and our Creator.
Without the first paragraph, I am with you 100% on the post but I think usually the first paragraph & the title of the post set the prism that the whole post is read through. There is no denying the evil of pornography and the damage it does. It is a wicked thing that causes the very things you speak of. However, neither are we called to "lovemaking," which is is a loaded word, even before it's meaning was hijacked and sets up a narrative that will set women up for failure of expectations and understanding of scripture.
Respectfully in Christ-
Anonymous · 526 weeks ago
I agree that it is about loving each other and becoming one flesh (and producing children)- my problem was the word lovemaking because it has an assumed definition, and like intimacy is has largely been defined by christian women. Lovemaking to a christian man who has never viewed pornography will still be considered depraved to many a christian woman in their frame of "lovemaking." We are naturally more aggressive, adventureous- sorry don't want to get graphic (and not that we should not be loving, cherishing & being understanding with our wives). Just saying that men and women are different- lovemaking is a definition that has been defined by romance novels and TV- not the bible, so using it will set up a stumbling block between men and women that will cause much hardship if we set it up as what is biblical.
donalgraeme 22p · 526 weeks ago
Your friend is correct. There have been a number of studies which have backed this up. Porn can rewire the brain, and this can severely impact a man's sexuality. However, this effect isn't merely limited to men. Women can also be affected by their "version" of porn, which is commonly found in the romance genre. Since men are far more visual than women, graphic porn affects them more than women (although the number of women who watch porn has been on the rise lately). Women, on the other hand, are for more "emotive" than men- their feelings are tied to their sex drive far than is the case for men. This means that women can impair their sex lives through "emotional porn", like is found in the romance genre. This can be equally destructive to a healthy marital relationship, although it manifests in different ways.
Something else that is important to point out is that the delay in marriage these days plays a significant role in the impact of porn on men. Men without a healthy outlet for their sex drive are more likely to seek out porn. Not all do, but many well. If they cannot marry until their late twenties (as is often the case these days), or even later, they are more likely to fall back on porn. Encouraging younger marriage is an important part of fixing that problem. And that is a message that needs to be directed towards Christian women and their parents, as they are the ones driving the delay.
akexploringstudies 17p · 526 weeks ago
Because it's more than just physical arousal and stimulation, but it's intimacy (all the time!) it is always a two-way street. Hear me out for one second. You bind yourself to what or whom you have sex to ("the two become one"). If it is not your spouse whom you are legitimately married to, you are still binding yourself to whomever or whatever you are having a sexual experience with! There lies the grave danger of sex and why God wanted to keep us safe by reserving it only for marriage.
Last point; many people at this junction think that if they watch pornography or read erotica they are having a solo sexual experience (no one else in the room but them, right?). This is one of satans biggest lies. Sex is always a two way street. When you have a sexual experience with a book, magazine or screen, you are having a sexual experience with all the demons of hell involved in that junk. Pornography means you become intimate with demons, who come to know you deeply and bind you like you couldn't possibly conceive. This is why it's such a stronghold to break and should be avoided at all costs.
It really is life or death for us, our spouses, and our children and not an area we can afford to be lax in. Thank you for this post!
gracetreherne 1p · 526 weeks ago
Keianna · 526 weeks ago
pianist1989 12p · 526 weeks ago
thejoyfilledwife 62p · 526 weeks ago
Pornography steals so much from a marriage and in ways we don't always initially see. With the sin removed from my husband's life, we saw a 3000% increase in our intimate times (prompted by him) as a husband and wife! Before, I couldn't convince him to give me a second glance for anything and now I can't keep him away (not that I want to). We need to pray faithfully and be patient with God's timing of deliverance. It doesn't happen overnight.
God is a God of miracles and, as our husband's help meet, we must never lose hope that God can heal our marriages. He is capable of turning them into something more amazing than we ever could have asked for. Let's be always praying for our men and the purity of their hearts and devotion to the Lord. There are many who are going through or have gone through just what you're facing right now. Know that God will carry you through it and lean on His strength at every turn and through every tear.