Thursday, November 12, 2015

Addiction to Entertainment is Destroying Her Life


Women have always struggled with being content in the home and doing what they are called to do. Here is the Apostle Paul's explanation of how young women were wasting their time; At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house; and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not {1 Timothy 5:13}. The young women were bored at home so they found things to do to avoid their responsibilities and be entertained instead. It is no different today. It's so easy to be lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God. What does God command young women do with their time? I will therefore that younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully {1 Timothy 5:14}.

Today, there are SO many things to distract women from the jobs the Lord has called them to do. Here is a conversation that went on in the chat room with one woman confessing her addiction to entertainment and needing help.

I'm addicted; totally and hopelessly addicted to entertainment. Seems like a pretty dumb and harmless thing to be addicted to but it's not. I can't go ten minutes without checking my phone or messing around with a game on my tablet, or watching TV or getting on Facebook or reading some random novel. I'm irritable when I have to be "in the moment.” I feel mind-numbing boredom now just being around my kids or playing with them. I neglect housework many times and take shortcuts with homeschooling in order to have more time for personal entertainment. My kids rarely have a mom who listens to them. It's sucking me dry and affecting my relationship with God, my kids, and my husband {who I would say has a similar problem with the same addiction}. And to be honest, I'm terrified to give it up. I'm terrified of the empty time to fill with things that aren't fun. I'm literally afraid I will react in ways similar to an actual drug addict when they can't have drugs.

I have SO been there, especially a few years ago. I would be babysitting kids and it would seem so boring to actually play with them. I wouldn't ignore them per se, but I would be on my phone or computer every free chance I got. I don't exactly know what changed this for me {I think it was a gradual process that was helped by a lot of things}, but I am not like that at all anymore, so maybe these tips will help!

Get a real alarm clock instead of using the one on your phone. This helped me not to grab and scroll through my phone first thing.

Unfollow everyone on Facebook. I wanted to delete mine, but I still need messenger and groups, so I just unfollowed everyone. I would scroll for hours through my news feed and then click Home just to reread the same stuff I didn't care about in the first place. Unfollowing everyone lets you still be friends so you can see what they post and talk to them if you need to; it just has made my news feed have the same thing on it for weeks on end which is boring, so now it is not tempting to check all the time.

Delete any other social media like Twitter or Instagram. When I deleted my Twitter, my world felt free again! 

Delete all your games and apps. This one takes so much self-discipline but I promise when they are not there, after a while you will not be addicted to passing that next level. This is also VERY freeing.

Read One Thousand Gifts. I haven't read all of it, and she does use flowery language and there have been some criticisms of her teachings, but just reading the first 70 pages or so has changed the way I think about life. It goes by WAY too fast, so when I sit and am bored or think the day is dragging on, I realize I can be thankful for that because how often do we wish we had more time? 

Try doing activities like baking or cooking with your kids. I do these because I LOVE them, but any productive activity that uses physical movement will solve your problem big time! Cooking homemade things with their mama will be a great memory! {I hated pretend games when I was growing up so I have a hard time playing them with kids now, so I just get them really excited about what I like. I love crafts and cooking so that is what the kids I babysit learns to love to do.}

From my last point, start doing a craft or writing or find a hobby that is fulfilling yet detached from technology or reading {even though reading is good; it is somewhat impossible to involve others in it}; write stories, draw pictures, make wreaths, decorate, paint, explore outside, take walks, and involve your kiddos. They need to learn how to entertain themselves too!

Turn your phone up really loud during the day and then set it somewhere close enough to hear but far away enough that you won't see it or get it, like on top of the fridge. I think cell phones have become an addiction so easily because we tell ourselves we need to check them because literally everything is on them! If we turn the volume up and trust that we will hear it when we need it, we can do other things confidently without worrying if we are missing something.

These are all I can think of right now, but definitely pray that you can enjoy the right now and trust that God will help you learn to love the moment you're in! Oh and don't be afraid that real life will be boring or terrible! These are lies from the devil to keep you right where you are! Real life is 100000x better than anything a screen can give you. I think it's scary because it's real out there. There's real joy but there's also real pain. But there's real pain in addiction too; it's just subtle and we can tell ourselves it's not there. But it is, and you know that because you're feeling it right now.

One other women gave this advice, "You are not alone in this. When I read this, I immediately thought of Michael Pearl's amazing study on Romans {free to download from his site}. It has set me free in so many ways because he preaches that we are a new creations in Christ from the moment we just believe. Until we believe we are new and our old flesh has died, we can't be free from our fleshly desires and addictions. Seems too simple, but it's true. He talks about how prisoners who struggle with addictions in the prisons he preaches at are set free when they finally understand Paul's gospel teachings in Romans. I have experienced tremendous freedom from this teaching, and I think you will too."

Don't be like many women out there who are seeking Truth and learning about it but never coming to the knowledge of the Truth. Remember, Satan's goal is to kill, steal and destroy and he will use any means to accomplish this goal. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth {2 Timothy 3:6, 7}.

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.
Hebrews 12:1

Comments (34)

Loading... Logging you in...
  • Logged in as
HappyHomemaker's avatar

HappyHomemaker · 489 weeks ago

I, too find myself drawn to entertainment. As I prepare for our only son to graduate high school, I must admit I have kicked around the idea of finding a part time job as I feel like I am useless for half of the week. Why I feel this way, I am not sure. I have other responsibilities that would be hard to manage even working part time, but I all of a sudden I feel like I am useless and need to be contributing more. But, I have done the working thing and honestly I remember how miserable I was. When my husband would want to take a day off spontaneously and tell me to take off, I wouldn't because I felt the obligation of being at work. Of course, that was before I read Created and I like to think that I am a different person now, but I think I am too scared to chance that. I really think my issues come from the winter time, because during winter, I have no garden to take care of and I mainly stay inside and it just gets gloomy.
1 reply · active 489 weeks ago
And 2 Tim 3:6 and the important context just before it.
1 reply · active 489 weeks ago
Great post-I don't have an IPhone-just a flip top-I don't text either-If my kids need me they have to actually call me and talk.:) That's why I don't text:) It is a discipline and takes self control to stay off computer/phone , but ask the Lord to convict your heart and HE will.
Find other things (like Lori said) to replace the time. It wasn't all that long ago we didn't have these types of things to keep us entertained.
Becky
I wouldn't have an Anne Voskamp book in my home, or recommend that any woman read any part of One Thousand Gifts. Here is a great summary from a pastor, on it's religious theism and why we should stay far away:
http://www.bygracealone.net/2011/05/romantic-pane...

As far as addiction to entertainment? Not surprised, and I don't have a lot of sympathy. I am so tired of seeing women on the phone ignoring their children. Put the phone down, and live a real life in a real world with real sin, and be a light instead of living like everyone else.
2 replies · active 488 weeks ago
I just turned 30 and all my friends are addicted to their phones.I don't have a smartphone. I'm a homemaker why would I need one? I have ooma home phone service $5/month and have a pre-paid cell phone through t-mobile, $100 a year. I only take the "dumb" phone when traveling and keep it charged in case the power goes out and I can't use the ooma. I don't have friends on facebook and don't have cable. We only subscribe to Netflix 2 months a year otherwise we feel the "need to justify the cost by using it more than we should. We make choices that reflect our values. I value a happy family, clean home, quality time spent with those I love.
1 reply · active 489 weeks ago
Lori - what this mom is experiencing is a condition called Anhedonia which is now directly linked to the over usage of technology. It is also a lack of her body producing the hormone Dopamine. Her brain has built a block to Dopamine because she has over used technology which give the dopamine big when she for e.g. achieves something in a game, gets a new message etc. IT will take up to 3 months for her to start feeling normal if she has TOTAL ABSTINENCE. I also advise her to watch Digital Cocaine by Brad Huddleston.
1 reply · active 489 weeks ago
Excellent! I have been thinking lately about how I sit too much and get absorbed into the Internet and end up spending way too much time there, without getting nearly enough accomplished in our home. This post really drives it home for me. I will pick up a copy of "One Thousand Gifts" today from the library, too. I will meditate on this: "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." Thank you, Lori!
2 replies · active 489 weeks ago
I wish everyone out there could read this post. I've struggled in this area too, and the enemy loves idle hands. I would be online often, sometimes shopping and buying things that were not always needed. I didn't spend too much to the point where my husband told me to stop, and he often said it was okay, which just made it worse. I knew I needed to quit. It's still an area that I constantly work at. Now, when I want to buy something I'm not sure about, I pray and wait and often the temptation will go away. My husband helps me with this too once I confessed I was getting addicted. I stay out of stores and don't shop online anymore, unless it's with my husband's approval and it's something we need and can't find elsewhere. One thing that's hard about Facebook is all of the parties people have online where they try and sell things and people are always adding me to groups... I'm not saying it's wrong and they can be fun, but for me personally, I need to be careful. My true friends will still be my friends if I don't attend or purchase something. I've written down Bible verses about being idle and having temptations, but I need to memorize more of them.
1 reply · active 489 weeks ago
Amen. I am on a break from facebook. Too many things coming in that aren't good or helpful. I am so much more relaxed and peaceful. It is a time waster if you let it.
1 reply · active 489 weeks ago
You nailed me again, Lori. I have wondered about whether entertainment can be an addiction. I think I don't like to be alone with my own thoughts sometimes because I will think too much which leads to worry. That feels like Satan has me either way--entertained or not entertained. It also makes me wonder about this new blog thing about reviewing books. Maybe that is just more entertainment. I pray God will show me.
1 reply · active 489 weeks ago
Lady Virtue's avatar

Lady Virtue · 489 weeks ago

I actually deleted my Facebook page nearly two months ago. Oddly, I never spent a lot of time there, but I was listening to a sermon in which the minister challenged people to delete their Facebook accounts. The temptation to waste time there was present, and the sermon convicted me, so I did so.

God has dealt with me regarding my intake of entertainment, and I have to admit, I haven't always obeyed Him. But He has a way of convicting me and not letting me have any peace until I do, so I've had to do some things in the past few years that may seem radical to some. I don't watch TV any more, for instance, and I avoid the theater. I regret that I've wasted so much time on vain and unprofitable things with no eternal value. Separating myself from the things of the world means separating myself unto God, so I have been doing MUCH more Bible reading and spending time ((literally!) in my prayer closet. It has given me much joy! Finding a Biblical church and like-minded believers is a challenge, though. That's why Andrea's recent post on "Godly Women Facing Isolation" struck such a chord with me.

I'm sorry for such a long comment. Thank you for this post, Lori, and for your blog.
1 reply · active 489 weeks ago
Last year for Christmas gifts I purchased 5 copies of ‘Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World’– by Gary Chapman and Arlene Pellicane. I put them in a gift bag with a board game or deck of cards and some popcorn. I know so many moms who are addicted to the Iphone and Ipad, as their kids are getting older they are purchasing this technology for their teenagers and I’m just scared for what the future holds. I agree with the comments by Wendy re. dopamine. I’d also like to point out that there are many studies coming out that say this technology is actually changing the wave patterns of our brain… we are literally rewiring how we think with all our wireless gadgets!!! My home is a technology free zone on weekdays from 6:00 pm to bedtime. We have five minutes late in the evening to look for any work related emergency emails - we use the kitchen timer to stick to that rule. No technology is allowed in the bedroom. Sundays are technology free days. I think we all need to remember that the technology is here to enhance our way of life and makes some things easier. Why are we putting ourselves in bondage to this nonsense? Lastly, I can’t vouch for this book b/c I haven’t yet ordered it, however I’m seriously consider getting copies of ‘The Boogeyman Exists, and He is in Your Child’s Back Pocket’ – by Jesse Weinberger. I think it might make a nice follow up to last year’s Christmas gift. As we would like to be 'Always Learning' I'm glad to read a post and comments that include how dangerous technology may be.
1 reply · active 489 weeks ago
I too found that I was spending way too much time on the internet. I never got a Facebook or Twitter account mainly because I'm an introvert. Yet I love to read and instead of reading quality literature, I was doing all of my reading online. Most of that reading was short articles and I started having difficulty picking up a novel or religious text and being able to read the whole thing. I wanted the main points right away and not given out over 200+ pages. I found myself becoming less patient.

Then I came across minimalism and it changed a lot of things in my life for the better. As I uncluttered my possessions, my mind became uncluttered, and I had more time for my family, and more time for God. I ended up turning my smart phone into a dumb phone by deleting all of the apps and now use it as a pay-go phone (saves money too). We ditched cable and I started turning the computer on after chores, morning family time, prayer and Bible reading time are completed and I turn it off when my husband gets home from work. I feel much more at peace, closer to the Lord, and there for my family than I have in a long time. We now go for walks and bike rides and talk to each other!
1 reply · active 489 weeks ago
It's nice to know im not alone! my Kids are doing a great job of keeping me accountable. it's not an easyroad, but it will be worth it in the end!
1 reply · active 489 weeks ago
I totally get this. The internet and social media are SO addictive! I think many women, possibly even most women, spend too much time with their phones, computers, etc. It's so common to go into a public place and see a bunch of people staring mindlessly at their phones. I even noticed it at our homeschool convention this year! And we all know people who simply cannot go even five minutes without picking up their phones to check something or send a text.

It is for this reason that I have steadfastly refused to own a smart phone, and I hope to stay that way. I have a TracPhone that lets me pay for minutes every quarter, and I never use it except to call my husband when I'm out and let him know that I'm on my way home.

Additionally, I deleted my Facebook account. (I've been off for a year this Christmas.) While I would tell myself things like, "I just need a Facebook break" or "I really WILL use it less," none of it was any good. I always was on too much. Deleting it was the only way to go, and it has been a tremendous blessing. Despite how hard it was to give up (it took me about four years of trying), I actually don't miss it too much.

I'm trying hard to keep the addictive techie stuff at bay so that I can be there for my husband, home, and children. It's so easy to be home physically, but to have my mind in internet-land mentally. I don't want that! (But it's so easy to let it happen.)

Thanks for this great post!
3 replies · active 419 weeks ago
Addiction to entertainment has become very common.

Post a new comment

Comments by