Women have always struggled with being content in the home and doing what they are called to do. Here is the Apostle Paul's explanation of how young women were wasting their time; At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house; and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not {1 Timothy 5:13}. The young women were bored at home so they found things to do to avoid their responsibilities and be entertained instead. It is no different today. It's so easy to be lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God. What does God command young women do with their time? I will therefore that younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully {1 Timothy 5:14}.
Today, there are SO many things to distract women from the jobs the Lord has called them to do. Here is a conversation that went on in the chat room with one woman confessing her addiction to entertainment and needing help.
I'm addicted; totally and hopelessly addicted to entertainment. Seems like a pretty dumb and harmless thing to be addicted to but it's not. I can't go ten minutes without checking my phone or messing around with a game on my tablet, or watching TV or getting on Facebook or reading some random novel. I'm irritable when I have to be "in the moment.” I feel mind-numbing boredom now just being around my kids or playing with them. I neglect housework many times and take shortcuts with homeschooling in order to have more time for personal entertainment. My kids rarely have a mom who listens to them. It's sucking me dry and affecting my relationship with God, my kids, and my husband {who I would say has a similar problem with the same addiction}. And to be honest, I'm terrified to give it up. I'm terrified of the empty time to fill with things that aren't fun. I'm literally afraid I will react in ways similar to an actual drug addict when they can't have drugs.
I have SO been there, especially a few years ago. I would be babysitting kids
and it would seem so boring to actually play with them. I wouldn't ignore them
per se, but I would be on my phone or computer every free chance I got. I don't
exactly know what changed this for me {I think it was a gradual process that
was helped by a lot of things}, but I am not like that at all anymore, so maybe
these tips will help!
Get
a real alarm clock instead of using the one on your phone. This helped me not
to grab and scroll through my phone first thing.
Unfollow
everyone on Facebook. I wanted to delete mine, but I still need messenger and
groups, so I just unfollowed everyone. I would scroll for hours through my news
feed and then click Home just to reread the same stuff I didn't care about in
the first place. Unfollowing everyone lets you still be friends so you can see
what they post and talk to them if you need to; it just has made my news feed
have the same thing on it for weeks on end which is boring, so now it is not
tempting to check all the time.
Delete
any other social media like Twitter or Instagram. When I deleted my Twitter, my
world felt free again!
Delete
all your games and apps. This one takes so much self-discipline but I promise
when they are not there, after a while you will not be addicted to passing that
next level. This is also VERY freeing.
Read One Thousand Gifts. I haven't read all
of it, and she does use flowery language and there have been some criticisms of
her teachings, but just reading the first 70 pages or so has changed the way I
think about life. It goes by WAY too fast, so when I sit and am bored or think
the day is dragging on, I realize I can be thankful for that because how often
do we wish we had more time?
Try
doing activities like baking or cooking with your kids. I do these because I
LOVE them, but any productive activity that uses physical movement will solve
your problem big time! Cooking homemade things with their mama will be a great
memory! {I hated pretend games when I was growing up so I have a hard time
playing them with kids now, so I just get them really excited about what I like.
I love crafts and cooking so that is what the kids I babysit learns to love to
do.}
From
my last point, start doing a craft or writing or find a hobby that is
fulfilling yet detached from technology or reading {even though reading is
good; it is somewhat impossible to involve others in it}; write stories, draw
pictures, make wreaths, decorate, paint, explore outside, take walks, and
involve your kiddos. They need to learn how to entertain themselves too!
Turn
your phone up really loud during the day and then set it somewhere close enough
to hear but far away enough that you won't see it or get it, like on top of the
fridge. I think cell phones have become an addiction so easily because we tell
ourselves we need to check them because literally everything is on them! If we
turn the volume up and trust that we will hear it when we need it, we can do
other things confidently without worrying if we are missing something.
These are all I can think of right now, but definitely pray that you can enjoy
the right now and trust that God will help you learn to love the moment you're
in! Oh and don't be afraid that real life will be boring or terrible!
These are lies from the devil to keep you right where you are! Real life is
100000x better than anything a screen can give you. I think it's scary because
it's real out there. There's real joy but there's also real pain. But there's
real pain in addiction too; it's just subtle and we can tell ourselves it's not
there. But it is, and you know that because you're feeling it right now.
One other women gave this advice, "You are not alone in this. When I read this, I immediately thought of Michael Pearl's amazing study on Romans {free to download from his site}. It has set me free in so many ways because he preaches that we are a new creations in Christ from the moment we just believe. Until we believe we are new and our old flesh has died, we can't be free from our fleshly desires and addictions. Seems too simple, but it's true. He talks about how prisoners who struggle with addictions in the prisons he preaches at are set free when they finally understand Paul's gospel teachings in Romans. I have experienced tremendous freedom from this teaching, and I think you will too."
Don't be like many women out there who are seeking Truth and learning about it but never coming to the knowledge of the Truth. Remember, Satan's goal is to kill, steal and destroy and he will use any means to accomplish this goal. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth {2 Timothy 3:6, 7}.
Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.
One other women gave this advice, "You are not alone in this. When I read this, I immediately thought of Michael Pearl's amazing study on Romans {free to download from his site}. It has set me free in so many ways because he preaches that we are a new creations in Christ from the moment we just believe. Until we believe we are new and our old flesh has died, we can't be free from our fleshly desires and addictions. Seems too simple, but it's true. He talks about how prisoners who struggle with addictions in the prisons he preaches at are set free when they finally understand Paul's gospel teachings in Romans. I have experienced tremendous freedom from this teaching, and I think you will too."
Don't be like many women out there who are seeking Truth and learning about it but never coming to the knowledge of the Truth. Remember, Satan's goal is to kill, steal and destroy and he will use any means to accomplish this goal. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth {2 Timothy 3:6, 7}.
Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.
Hebrews 12:1
HappyHomemaker · 489 weeks ago
Dave · 489 weeks ago
Becky · 489 weeks ago
Find other things (like Lori said) to replace the time. It wasn't all that long ago we didn't have these types of things to keep us entertained.
Becky
Guest · 489 weeks ago
http://www.bygracealone.net/2011/05/romantic-pane...
As far as addiction to entertainment? Not surprised, and I don't have a lot of sympathy. I am so tired of seeing women on the phone ignoring their children. Put the phone down, and live a real life in a real world with real sin, and be a light instead of living like everyone else.
Nora · 489 weeks ago
Wendy · 489 weeks ago
Tommie · 489 weeks ago
Katie · 489 weeks ago
Amy · 489 weeks ago
sheila · 489 weeks ago
Lady Virtue · 489 weeks ago
God has dealt with me regarding my intake of entertainment, and I have to admit, I haven't always obeyed Him. But He has a way of convicting me and not letting me have any peace until I do, so I've had to do some things in the past few years that may seem radical to some. I don't watch TV any more, for instance, and I avoid the theater. I regret that I've wasted so much time on vain and unprofitable things with no eternal value. Separating myself from the things of the world means separating myself unto God, so I have been doing MUCH more Bible reading and spending time ((literally!) in my prayer closet. It has given me much joy! Finding a Biblical church and like-minded believers is a challenge, though. That's why Andrea's recent post on "Godly Women Facing Isolation" struck such a chord with me.
I'm sorry for such a long comment. Thank you for this post, Lori, and for your blog.
guest · 489 weeks ago
Christy · 489 weeks ago
Then I came across minimalism and it changed a lot of things in my life for the better. As I uncluttered my possessions, my mind became uncluttered, and I had more time for my family, and more time for God. I ended up turning my smart phone into a dumb phone by deleting all of the apps and now use it as a pay-go phone (saves money too). We ditched cable and I started turning the computer on after chores, morning family time, prayer and Bible reading time are completed and I turn it off when my husband gets home from work. I feel much more at peace, closer to the Lord, and there for my family than I have in a long time. We now go for walks and bike rides and talk to each other!
Anon · 489 weeks ago
Diana · 489 weeks ago
It is for this reason that I have steadfastly refused to own a smart phone, and I hope to stay that way. I have a TracPhone that lets me pay for minutes every quarter, and I never use it except to call my husband when I'm out and let him know that I'm on my way home.
Additionally, I deleted my Facebook account. (I've been off for a year this Christmas.) While I would tell myself things like, "I just need a Facebook break" or "I really WILL use it less," none of it was any good. I always was on too much. Deleting it was the only way to go, and it has been a tremendous blessing. Despite how hard it was to give up (it took me about four years of trying), I actually don't miss it too much.
I'm trying hard to keep the addictive techie stuff at bay so that I can be there for my husband, home, and children. It's so easy to be home physically, but to have my mind in internet-land mentally. I don't want that! (But it's so easy to let it happen.)
Thanks for this great post!
andromedafoods 54p · 446 weeks ago