Wednesday, November 25, 2015

When Your Husband Irritates You


All husbands will irritate their wives at times. Some chew with their mouths open. Some watch too much television. Some are messy and never pick up their clothes. Some never tell their wives how wonderful they are or how much they appreciate them. Some are often late for dinner and forget to call. How are we to handle these irritations? Should we get angry about them.

No, for anger does not achieve the righteousness of God {James 1:20}. So what are we supposed to do? I'm sure most women have already spoken to their husbands about the things that irritate them but either the husbands don't agree, don't want to change or forget. Now what? Learn to accept it. How? Every time they are doing something that irritates you, think of something you love and appreciate about them instead and learn to be thankful. 

They chew with their mouths open. Thank the Lord that they work so hard to provide your family with food! They watch too much television. Thank the Lord you have a comfortable home for them to watch television in and that they are able to get some much needed relaxation. They don't appreciate you like they should. Begin telling them all the things you appreciate about them. Treat them the way you want them to treat you instead of expecting them to treat you a certain way. Model this behavior to them and they just may catch on! They are late to dinner. Thank the Lord they have a job to go to everyday to bring a paycheck home to pay the bills. Be transformed by renewing your mind with Truth and thankfulness, instead of irritation and anger.

We are to win our husbands without a word. This means we don't scold them, yell at them, boss them around, treat them like a child or get angry with them. We work on our own behavior in becoming more like Christ who lives within us and allow the Lord to work on our husbands. We learn to win the battle in our mind and quickly change negative and critical thoughts to good and pure ones. We speak uplifting and encouraging words instead of degrading and discouraging words.

If you're having difficult relatives over for Thanksgiving, practice the same with them. There's good qualities in everyone. Seek them out and dwell on them. Make sure you do everything tomorrow to have a peaceful, thankful holiday!

Happy Thanksgiving!

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, 
to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
Colossians 3:15

Comments (13)

Loading... Logging you in...
  • Logged in as
So why do we, as women, have to change when we do something that irritates our husbands. Are we not important or significant enough??
4 replies · active 487 weeks ago
We can only change ourselves, Reni. Of course we are important and significant because Jesus loves us, died for us, freed us from sin, rose again and everyone who believes in Him has eternal life. We, as wives, are called to please, submit to, obey, love, respect and be a help meet to our husbands. We should only worry about what God calls us to do since we will only be held responsible for our deeds and behavior. Therefore, if something irritates your husband, since we are called to please them, we must do all in our power to stop. Usually, the things that irritate most husbands are their wives need to control, manipulate and change them through nagging which is forbidden in Scripture.
HappyHomemaker's avatar

HappyHomemaker · 487 weeks ago

I apologize if I am wrong on this, but reni I see myself in your questions. Have you read the Created to be a Helpmeet? If not, I highly recommend that book. You see, when faced with conviction on what I was doing wrong in my marriage, I always wanted to find a reason it wouldn't apply to me. I would think why do I have to change, or why do I have to be the one that always smiles and so many of other why does it have to be me questions. I finally seen that when these questions would pop up, it was plain and simple rebellion. One of the things that really got me (and I apologize because I don't know where I read or heard it) was what makes YOU so special that you think the rules shouldn't apply to you? Who are YOU to question God and his plan? When I asked myself these questions, I realized it was just me not wanting to do what I was created to do, what I was designed to do and that is be a helpmeet to my husband. When I would be in the poor me frame of mind, it was usually due to some sin that I refused to admit I was wrong in--I can't remember specifically, but maybe he didn't kiss me when he walked through the door and I had to kiss him, or maybe I had to tell him that I love him first or something silly like that. My advice is to pray that God open your eyes to any rebellion you may be trying to cover up with the blame game (and again, maybe I am wrong and that isn't what this is about). Also, stop thinking of it as why do I have to change and think of it as an investment into a long, happy, JOYFUL marriage! Trust me, my marriage and life is so much happier now that I have a new perspective and I can honestly say it is an honor to submit---that's something the world won't tell you, they WANT you to believe you will be a doormat, but for our family, it made our home peaceful, joyful, fun and a happy place to be when I started submitting. And I can tell when I am being rebellious as well, because there just isn't that peaceful vibe in our home.
Thank you, HappyHomemaker. What a beautiful testimony of a life committed to the ways of the Lord!
Spot on Happy Homemaker,
The more I watch what is said on Lori's blog and then coach husbands who are in difficult marriages, generally speaking, husbands are not rebellious. We may be unkind at times with what we say, we may get upset, we may not pick up after ourselves like we should, but there is rarely a purposeful attempt to "punish" or wives. I don't use this term lightly because this is what I see wives doing to their husbands far too often. The husband does not meet some expectation and presto, moods, frowns, snide remarks, withholding affection, all excused by "he needs to change."

Most husbands are looking for very little from their wives except for "common human decency." Treat me like you do your girlfriends with much lower expectations and far more joy. Don't believe that sour moods or alack of joyfulness is ever to be excused. It harms the relationship and offends God's Word.

All marriages should insist on Christian living within the home and anything unchristian should be called out for what it is with no excuses for it. "But I am not a happy, joyful person," say some wives. The as you say, make an investment in happiness instead of being stuck in wallowing in self pity or worse yet, using your disappointed expectations to punish your spouse.
This post is very succinct and helpful Ms. Lori. These are the ways some of us know to behave or that we should but just need a reminder. I posted this on my Facebook page, but then felt weird because I just celebrated my anniversary, so now it looks like I'm mad at him.😂 Lol! Happy Thanks giving!!
1 reply · active 487 weeks ago
Hopefully they won't think that but instead it will convict the women who read it to be thankful for their husbands instead of critical and ungrateful. Happy Thanksgiving to you also!
Wonderful post, Lori! So hard to carry out, but so very needed. Printing this one off to re-read often.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!
1 reply · active 487 weeks ago
The same to you, Diana! Thank you.
Lady Virtue's avatar

Lady Virtue · 487 weeks ago

Thanks for this good teaching and timely reminder, Lori. When I am tempted to murmur against my husband--and sadly, yes, sometimes I do--the Lord will remind me that He blessed me with husband. And it wasn't for the purpose of being happy, having romance, or for sentimential reasons, but it was to sanctify me, make me holy, and teach me Biblical virtues such as charity, longsuffering, and forbearance. In other words, it was to make me more like Christ, that my Saviour may be glorified.
1 reply · active 487 weeks ago
Great encouragement, Lady Virtue. Yes, our purpose here isn't to be happy but to be more like Christ by doing what He has called us to do!
So good! Thank-you for this post!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Thank you! I needed to hear this. Your post are very encouraging and convicting, and they have definitely helped me in my role as a wife and mother. Thanks!
Happy Thanksgiving!

Post a new comment

Comments by