Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Raising Children with a Quiet, Simple Life


A close friend of mine has a son who is married and has four children. They live a quiet and simple life. They are not involved in activities outside of the home. Another friend of mine was with them recently and was astonished at how well-behaved these children were. When she asked them to come, they came. When she spoke to them, they listened carefully and looked her right in the eyes.There was no arguing among the siblings. They played quietly and contentedly together. The parents have spent a lot of time training and disciplining their children. They are not expecting anyone else to do it. They take this job very seriously. Raising godly offspring is serious business and should never be taken lightly or carelessly.

The reason they don't get involved in a lot of activities is so they can have plenty of time to teach their children things that matter and have eternal value like getting along with others, being kind and generous, and loving the Lord. Raising a family, being a help meet to a husband and keeping a neat and tidy home should be a full-time job for mothers. 

How many families and children do you know like this? Most mothers are too busy doing other things instead of taking the time to train and discipline their children, keeping a neat and tidy home and fixing nourishing food for their families. They think they must do something to make money {which the Bible never commands that women do}, have hobbies to keep them entertained, and/or be on social media so they won't miss something "important."

NO! Your goal should be to live a quiet and simple life within your husband's income. This atmosphere is the best way for children to be raised. Jesus was raised this way! Elizabeth Elliot said, A simple and orderly life represents a clean and orderly mind. Muddled thinking inevitably results in muddled living. A house that is cluttered is usually lived in by people whose minds are also cluttered, who need to simplify their lives. This begins with simplifying and clarifying their thinking. Mind and life need to be freed from the "disorder of the unnecessary."

Your children don't need a lot of stuff or activities. They need you: your time, energy and training. They need you teaching them to work hard, be obedient, love others and love God. They need to see parents content with living a simple life who are at peace with each other. They need to learn that having things doesn't bring happiness but living according to God's instructions to us is what brings happiness and contentment.

Stop running about, wasting your time and neglecting your children, home and husband. Clean out your closets, drawers and homes to help you attain an uncluttered mind. Get rid of everything you don't need. Have clear and empty spaces. Let your children be creative in their play. Teach them to help you around the home, to cook and to garden. Be a homebody! You don't need to be running in your car all over the place. Your children don't need to be in a lot of outside activities.  You don't need a hobby that takes your time away from your family. If you have food, clothing and shelter, you should be so happy and content! 

All Christian families should be like this family I mentioned; the parents are deeply in love with each other; their children are their priority WAY over their cell phone, Facebook, Internet, TV, hobbies, etc. They have time for Bible reading, praying and praising the Lord. Meals are eaten around the table together. Love is openly expressed to all who enter their home. This is how a godly family should live.

 Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life 
and attend to your own business and work with your hands, 
just as we commanded you.
1 Thessalonians 4:11

Comments (27)

Loading... Logging you in...
  • Logged in as
Thank you for this post today! I was just telling my husband this morning that even though we have been asked to participate in some events this weekend, I am turning it down because I just need a weekend where I have nothing going on. I want to go to church and I want to focus on de-cluttering our home for the upcoming holidays.

On a side note, I am really starting to resent activities outside of the home. And I am not nearly as busy with activities as others I know. My daughter is in dance and a Little Flowers group, and my son goes to youth room and youth events at church. What annoys me, however, is that my daughter's activities and even some of my son's activities are done in the evening, in order to cater to the working moms. I believe that evenings should be centered around the family meal, prayer, and down-time in order to prepare for the next day. Husbands deserve to come home to a nice meal and some relaxing time with the family, not a hurried dinner, frazzled wife and hyper kids who then have to rush to finish their studies or chores that didn't get done because of the evening's activities. Back when I was growing up, most moms were home with their children so the after school activities were done right after school, giving the moms plenty of time to prepare the home and the table for her husband.
1 reply · active 489 weeks ago
This is such a refreshing post. It is so easy to lose sight of this kind of life you describe. I find there's a lot of pressures on socializing the life right out of the children to the point that they're never home! And the pressures to put little children into schooling so early!

Thank you for reminding me that they need my time, energy, and training. It is easy to get into a rut and just let them play and do their own thing all day.
1 reply · active 489 weeks ago
Lovely post! I try so hard to keep these things in mind, what you mentioned. I am definitely the "oddest" of the parents I know, as in we are a pretty calm family. But, I love making a home and it warms my heart whenever my young children just say, "I want to go home, mommy." I know I have started something good, there. :)
1 reply · active 489 weeks ago
Amen!!! I couldn't agree more Lori! Great post! :)
1 reply · active 489 weeks ago
Lady Virtue's avatar

Lady Virtue · 489 weeks ago

This post reminded me of a couple of Scriptures that address this matter (I Thessalonians 4:11-12; I Timothy 2:1-2). It is good to study to be quiet, to do your own business, work with your own hands, walk honestly, and lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. In this, we will have lack of nothing and it is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour.

Running here, there, and everywhere just creates stress, tiredness, and frazzled nerves, not to mention discontentment and dissatisfaction. Many times we and our children do this because we want to be like others and keep up with the Joneses. There is so little inclination to be different from the world for Christ's sake.
1 reply · active 489 weeks ago
I love this post! Often times I feel like I don't do nearly enough things outside of the home to "socialize" my two year old daughter. We do go to church on Sunday's and Wednesday nights and she loves it but she is not involved in dance or any other activities like some other children her age that we know. Sometimes it makes me feel less than because I'm not always running from here to there doing things to stay busy. We live a quiet life and I love it this way. I just often wonder if I'm doing her a disservice by being staying home so much and not being out and about filling every minute of every day.. Thank you for writing this, it was definitely what I needed to read today. Your blog is one of the most refreshing sites on the Internet to me, even when my toes are being stepped on. :)
1 reply · active 489 weeks ago
Needed this today!!! Any ideas on keeping a two year old boy content at home when you have to stay inside a lot during the winter? Trying to get ideas :) After he helps me with chores and we play/color/read/bake/go for a walk etc. sometimes we still have quite a bit of spare time!
1 reply · active 489 weeks ago
That sounds wonderful! God bless them. I would love that for my home but retraining 8 children by myself ( as hubby is at work a lot) almost seems impossible. Such a mammoth task. My husband has asked me to get my priorities in order and be more disciplined. Praying desperately for the Lords help. Thank you Lori for your constant encouragement. :-)
1 reply · active 489 weeks ago
I've been contemplating this post all day. My husband, myself and 6 year old daughter are all extreme extroverts. My 3 year old son isn't as much. We homeschool our children and will be for as long as it is up to us. But my daughter loves her outside the home activities and I enjoy seeing them learn things I can't teach them (ballet, tap, etc.) We have both our children in a number of activities (also partially because we live in an apartment with no yard) and they get a lot of exercise that way as well as learn new skills (like swimming).

So I have been trying to reconcile this post with our life which doesn't look like what you described above. I do keep a neat home and my meals are extremely simple but healthy. But we do go out quite a bit. It seems like staying home may be super easy to do for those who are introverts and are bent in that direction anyway, but is it something I need to bend my family towards as well. Quite honestly we would all be miserable (except perhaps my son) until the Lord changed our hearts about it.
2 replies · active 489 weeks ago
Lori, I love all your posts, but this post is a LOVE-LOVE-LOVE!!! kind of post. Thank you. I am going to print this one off for my parenting notebook. This is an excellent reminder of our priorities, and especially good for me (as I've been dealing with this issue recently).

I thought you might like this post, as it runs along the same lines: http://jessconnell.com/dont-get-house/

Have a wonderful night!
1 reply · active 489 weeks ago
Thank you for the encouragement. After reading this, I realize this is what the Holy Spirit has been leading me in for years. I never put it to words, but now I see it clearly and with a thankful heart.

Kimmie
Mama to 8
One homemade and 7 adopted
2 replies · active 489 weeks ago
I'm with my kids every hour they are not in school. I tried raising them in a Christian home. I've tried keeping faith. However, my kids are rude, mean, defiant,and, especially with my eight-year-old, is often only agreeable when she gets her way. I don't like to go places any more because if the way she acts. I don't know how many times I have broken down crying in defeat.... In public. After the past two evenings, I just give up. Praying seems to have gotten me nowhere. I've spent the last two nights dealing with it. I decided I was done trying again. After my daughter acted up, again, and my husband came home from choir and found me (and ignored me) crying in my recliner. When I did finally go to bed, I cried myself to sleep with no acknowledgement from my husband. He didn't even say anything when he left for work this morning. My five-year-old acted up this morning and I struggled to not cry in the hall before he went into preschool. The highlight of my morning was drowning my sorrows in a chocolate doughnut

What does one do when one seems to have tried everything? I might as well be talking to the ceiling.
2 replies · active 489 weeks ago

Post a new comment

Comments by