Spanking gets a really bad rap in our society right now. Many parents, Christians included, don't want to spank their children. The thought process is if you spank your children, they will grow up to be violent.
Spanking IS being abused, just like sex is abused, but that doesn't mean you stop having sex or spanking. You need to learn to do it in a proper way.
I have also heard you should never spank in anger. I spanked in anger sometimes, because I was usually pretty upset with my children when they needed a spanking, but I never came anywhere close to beating them.
We only spanked them when there was open defiance...not wanting to obey us or when they willingly disobeyed us. We used a special little strap and spanked hard enough so it would hurt. Pain is a great motivator and teacher. We spanked them mostly before the age of five, so none of them can hardly even remember getting spanked.
As soon as they were crawling, if they were going to touch something and we said "No" but they touched it anyways, we slapped their hand. Eventually, they learned to obey us when we said "No" and they no longer tried to stick their little fingers in lights sockets or other things they weren't suppose to touch.
If they were wiggling around while we changed their diaper, we would spank their bottom and they learned to be still. It was a quick and effective method to teach obedience. They learned who was boss real early in their lives.
For a child to learn immediate obedience when told makes child raising a lot easier. If you tell them to do something and they don't do it, then you keep telling them over and over again, you are teaching them disobedience.
Teach them to obey you the first time...It could save their life, ie, telling them to not run into the street when a car is coming.
As our children got older, we never had to "ground" them or take away privileges, because they were obedient the majority of the time. They respected authority and desired to please us. We didn't suffer through the "terrible twos" or "rebellious teenage years." They were all a pleasure to raise.
It was a lot of hard work the first five years...exhausting really and it's hard to spank your children. It isn't fun, but it works. My children would have much rather get spanked and have it over with quickly, than have a long lecture or be grounded.
He that spares his rod hates his son: but he that loves him chastens him. Proverbs 13:24
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself brings his mother to shame.