Saturday, November 9, 2013

Grumbling About Our Husbands

A young woman I know desires to get involved in her local church and make new friends.  She enjoys the bible study part very much, but then they break up into small groups.  There she has to listen to the women, even the leader of the group, grumble about their husbands!

The very first step towards having a great marriage is to never grumble about your husband.  God is greatly displeased with grumbling.  He killed many Israelites in the desert when they grumbled.  He exhorts us in His word not to grumble.

When I begin mentoring women, all they do is grumble about their husbands.  After several sessions, I encourage them not to grumble about them anymore and just begin working on themselves.  We are commanded in scripture to dwell on the lovely, the good, and the pure.  This includes dwelling on the good qualities in our husbands.

Most husbands are not evil men.  Most work hard to provide for their families.  Most are faithful to their wives and most love their children.  Yet, many women fail to see these wonderful qualities and instead, focus on the negative which is sin.  Let's just label it for what it is.  It is the opposite of contentment which God wants from us.

Once I began pushing negative thoughts about Ken out of my mind, our marriage improved dramatically.  It makes NOTHING better in your marriage to focus on the negative.  Even if your husband only has a few good qualities, focus on them instead.  It will completely change your behavior towards him and he will notice it.

When you think negative thoughts about him, you become angry at him and he feels it.  Anger does not accomplish the righteousness of God.  The Bible tells us that love does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. {I Corinthians 13:5}

You are the only one that has control over your thoughts.  Your thoughts control your behavior.  Change your thoughts.  Think only good thoughts about your husband and watch how amazing your marriage will become.  Love changes people, not criticism.

HERE is a beautifully written post by Elspeth on this very topic.