Saturday, January 10, 2015

Is Your Husband in Awe of You?

If he isn’t in awe of you, he doesn’t deserve you. You are my little girl and you were born perfect. If he can’t see that, it’s his loss. There is someone who thinks your flaws power his heart. Be strong. If he asks you to change, be like the rock of your birthstone, do not waver. You are wondrous just the way that you are. {source}

This is the advice given by a father to his daughter for the man she should marry. His daughter is going to have very high, unrealistic expectations for her husband and her husband will never be able to make her happy. This father is not giving good advice.

Expecting a husband to be in awe of you is unrealistic. Hopefully, he will love you and be faithful to you but awe should only be reserved for the Lord for He is the only on deserving of our awe. Expectations kill relationships. If you go into marriage thinking your husband should treat you a certain way by just loving and adoring you no matter how you behave, you are going to be greatly disappointed.

Also, to tell his daughter that she should not listen to him if her husband points out her faults is another recipe for disaster. We are called to rebuke each other. Yes, even wives can gently confront their husbands if they see something that their husband needs to change. They cannot nag him about it, however. She needs to speak her case and then leave it in the Lord's hands to convict and change him.

Husbands are the head of the wife. If they see something they want changed in their wives, they should definitely feel free to talk to their wives about it. NO ONE is perfect and as a couple, we should be able to point out each other's flaws. This only makes each spouse a better person in the long run since their spouse is the one who know them best.

No, this father, whoever you are, gave your daughter very bad advice that sets her up for future failure in her marriage. Instead, you should have taught her to love, submit to and respect her husband, to be willing to take rebuke and correction, and that there will always be things she needs to improve upon. She needs to spend her single years becoming a godly woman who knows who she is in Christ and growing in the wisdom and the knowledge of him, not expecting to find a husband who is in awe of her and doesn't expect to change and grow.

Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: 
teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.
Proverbs 9:9