My life is hidden with God. I have missed MANY things in my life: weddings, vacations, eating out, get together, parties, etc. My health problems {brain tumor, neck fusion, and weak gut} have caused me to miss out on life and living. Or have they?
I used to look at Facebook and see all those I know having a wonderful time while I was home in pain. It used to make be envious, but it doesn't anymore. I know, without a doubt, that I am right where God wants me to be. I am hidden with Him. Due to my health, I learned I could write! I learned I could blog and minister to other women right here in my home. I woke up one morning over four years ago and decided I would try blogging. I didn't think I was a good writer at all but I knew I LOVED to teach. I sat at my computer for a minute and thought, "What should be the name of my blog? Always Learning. That's what I'll call it." You know the rest of the story.
Ken has been encouraging me to write a book. One morning last year, I woke up and decided to write a book. I thought, "Mmmm, what should I call it? I thought of a name right then and there. {I don't want to say it in case I ever publish it!}" I spent the next few weeks writing it. It didn't take long. You see the length of my posts. It doesn't take me long to write what I want to write. After writing a bit, I told Ken, "I don't have anything else to say. It's not very long but I'm done. I said all I needed to say!" My sister told me she enjoys books that aren't that long since long books usually say the same thing over and over again. We may or may not publish it. We'll see.
Anyways, God has used me in my hidden years with Him. He's allowed me to minister to many women. During my many sleepless night, He puts a song in my head praising Him that plays over and over again that gets me through the pain-filled nights. Every morning, I teach the Word of God to the chat room and by texting some women who I've mentored over the years. Every morning, I spend time in His Word marking up my Bible with highlighter pens. I love studying the Word of God. It NEVER gets old. I've become a MUCH better wife. Just ask Ken! We rarely argue anymore and if a discussion begins to get a little heated, I back off quickly knowing that arguing is not pleasing to the Lord and in arguing, I'm not respecting him. Ken, more often than not, feels respected and appreciated by me now. We LOVE being married to each other!
It took Paul over 14 years after his conversion to begin his ministry {Galatians 2:1}. Moses was in the desert MANY years before he led the Israelites out of Egypt. If you are in a hard, painful place, don't be discouraged. You are right where God wants you to be. You may not be a writer or blogger, but every person has a special gift from God and He will give you a ministry right where you are even if it is simply praying for others, which this world desperately needs.
As long as God is on His throne, which is forever, He will use you for His purposes. Rest in this knowledge and allow Him to mold you into the image of His dear Son during your hidden years with Him.
For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
Colossians 3:3
***I had my yearly MRI several weeks ago to see if my brain tumor had grown or not. It'll always be nerve wracking during the waiting period between the MRI and the doctor's call. He finally called and said that it was either the same size or a bit smaller. {Cyber Knife doesn't get rid of the tumor; it's purpose is to "control" the tumor from growing.} I am also seeing a naturopath to test my hormones and supplement any that may be fading from damage from the radiation. I'll get the blood results in several weeks to see how my little pituitary is holding up! {It's been smashed several times, manipulated by neurosurgeons as they tried to remove the tumor and radiated, so it's been quite beat upon.} My vision continues to be very good; no change at all. Praise the Lord!
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