There are many mothers out there who don't like their sons-in-law. I hear from them all the wrong things their sons-in-law are doing. Their daughters knew the faults these men had before they married them but they married them anyways.
The daughters go to their parents and complain about their husbands. The parents take their daughter's side and think the son-in-law is a jerk. Sometimes, the daughters divorce their husbands and the parents end up taking care of their daughter and her children for many years.
I recently wrote a post titled A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. Fabby responded to my post with this comment, "My mom taught me not to speak ill of my husband ever, not even with her and I also transmitted this sentiment to my daughter."
I would always love to ask these mothers if their daughters were loving, serving, submitting to, obeying, and pleasing their husbands. It seems so wrong to me for daughters to speak ill of their husbands to anyone let alone their parents.
Fabby's advice is amazing. I learned many years ago to not speak anything negative about Ken to anyone and it has helped our marriage dramatically. We can only change ourselves and ask God to change our husbands.
In the meantime, we must love them as God commanded us to love them and show them respect. Speaking negatively about them to others shows no respect. If your husband is in sin, find an older, godly woman to speak to about it who will not put down your husband but will help you through it.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,
but only what is helpful for building
others up according to their needs,
that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,
but only what is helpful for building
others up according to their needs,
that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 4:29
Logging you in...
Anon · 603 weeks ago
Although, I do see a problem with my Father-in-law. He is a very sick man. He had porn in the home while my husband was growing up. My husband was exposed to this by the age of 9. Made the family stop going to church, etc He has played favorites with one son while constantly putting down my husband. He trys to say bad things about my husband to me. My husband is an amazing man and everyone that has ever met him from former co-workers to my mother- just love him. He has his faults (don't we all) but there are no red flags. He did struggle with the porn and faith issues when we first met but he sought help and is doing much, much better now. He takes an active roll in our parish and is even participating in a lay formation program.
I've done my best to be my husband's biggest cheerleader and to encourage him but it deeply saddens me to see his father treat him so poorly. Do you have any tips for dealing with someone like that?
Lori Alexander 122p · 603 weeks ago
Continue to love him. Love is the biggest motivator to change others.
Cynthia Swenson · 603 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 603 weeks ago
Tiffany · 603 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 603 weeks ago
anon · 603 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 603 weeks ago
Joluise · 603 weeks ago
Whilst I married an unbeliever and at times it has been very difficult, I know that the Lord has never left my side and has always taken care of me. I completely trust the Lord in this marriage. I don't say negatives things about him to others and he doesn't do it about me either.
Amanda · 603 weeks ago
Mrs. Pearl's book and your blog have been wonderful resources in this area and I WILL not make the same mistakes again. I will be able to teach my daughter this. And if the situation ever arises, I will not allow her to speak ill of her husband to me and advice her to work through her problems. Hopefully, she won't make the same mistakes as me and never looks at divorce as an option.
Thanks so much for doing this blog and all your wonderful advice. It has truly made a difference in my life!
Lori Alexander 122p · 603 weeks ago
Allyson · 602 weeks ago
And you are wrong about always knowing who you marry. I met my ex husband when I was 18 and I was married to him for 15 years. He was a pastor, and he hid his cheating for the first five years very very well. I believed all the late nights he had to work including holidays. Hind site, the signs were there in the first 5 years, but I was naive and didn't believe because I "Trusted" him.
After about 5 years, he no longer cared that I knew, and he didn't care if I was hurt by his actions. He blatantly did what he wanted to do, and even blamed me for his actions because I wasn't doing my job keeping him happy.
This man spent his weeknights away from home cheating on me, some mornings coming in to shower before heading to the office, and his Sundays he spent preaching "God's Word" to his congregation. When I left him, no one believed anything I said, and they even made up vicious lies about me. I found I had no friends in the supposed Christians. Funny how he continued to date and ultimately marry the woman he cheated on me with for 15 years. They even let him have a church wedding at the church he preached.
I only tell my story so that you understand that some women are sincerely duped. I was raised to believe in fidelity, and to trust your husband. So I was completely unprepared when I was hit by reality. A mother's job is to be there to protect her child (even an adult) from a husband who hurts her.
beth · 602 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 602 weeks ago
dramaticelegance 2p · 602 weeks ago
sometimes, you have to speak against another person. sometimes you have to speak against your husband, not to bash but to be SEEN. i sit with my small group and I SOB with them over those times when i feel abandoned by my husband. we all need outlets or else we all explode.
emilytwierenga 46p · 602 weeks ago
emilytwierenga 46p · 602 weeks ago