Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Dependent On Welfare?


Before I had children, I believed that I would live in a tiny trailer if that is what I needed to do in order to stay home and raise my children.  I teach a lot on mothers being keepers at home.  Cynthia commented on one of my posts, " I just want to add that my mother was a single mom who had to work.  I made up my mind at a young age that I would go on welfare or live with relatives or whatever it took to stay home with my children.  God has always provided without resorting to those measures.  I am thankful."

Then another woman wrote, "I am all for moms staying home with their children.  I am blessed to be able to stay home, but welfare should not be used so that a mom can stay home with her kids.  That is not what welfare is for and that is abusing the system."

I believe women who keep having children without a husband to get more money from welfare is abusing the system.  However, if a woman loses her husband when she has young children, she has no living relatives to support her, and the church refuses to support her, I believe this is exactly when welfare should be used.

Connie was a young mother with six children.  Her husband was in and out of prison, mostly in.  She lived on welfare so she could be at home raising her children.  Her husband finally came to the Lord.  Who could possibly fault her for that?  Should she have gotten a full-time job leaving her children with strangers to care for all day?

The Bible exhorts young widows to get remarried, have children, and guide the home.  It exhorts the church to provide for older widows.  It exhorts families to take care of each other.  If their is no willing family or church, I think it is better for the mother to go on welfare to take care of her children rather than find a full-time job and let someone else raise her children.

Yes, some of you had mothers who worked if you lost your father and she modeled hard work to you so now you are a hard worker.  She refused welfare and you admired her for that.  If children have lost their father, I see no reason why a mother couldn't receive welfare for a time until she got remarried or found a church to support her.

She would have to learn to live frugally and simply.  She would need to cook her food from scratch and shop wisely but all these would be good for her children to see.  She would be there to raise and discipline her children and give them the love they so need.

I know this opinion will be controversial since welfare is so abused in this country but I  think if there is ever a need for welfare, a widowed or abandoned mother with children without a supportive church or relatives would be the best reason welfare was instituted.  I sure wouldn't mind using my tax dollars so a widowed or abandoned mother could stay home and raise her children.

But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, 
and especially for members of his household, 
he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
I Timothy 5:8

Comments (17)

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Thank you for your compassionate comments, recognizing that this is a situation of need in which welfare can be a legitimate option.

At the same time, I would also point out that we shouldn't judge a mother in this situation who works. Depending on where she lives, she may find that welfare simply does not provide enough funds to pay for both food and shelter, or that she cannot remain qualified for welfare unless she is actively looking for work or doing job training. I also cannot fault a mother who determines that she needs to work in order to be able to afford housing that has a lower rate of crime, including gun and gang-related violence.
Lori, you would probably enjoy the movie "Inequality for All". I saw it at a film festival this summer and it will be showing in theaters in late September and October. It shows a balanced and sensible view IMO.
1 reply · active 601 weeks ago
Are you talking about the new documentary made by Jacob Kornbluth and featuring former Sec'y of Labor, Robert Reich? My husband and I totally want to see this movie. Bill Moyers, a brilliant journalist, has interviewed these two gentleman for his PBS program "Bill Moyers and Company." http://billmoyers.com/segment/director-jacob-korn...
Very good Lori. I'm glad you come back and make a whole article on some of the touchy subjects that get brought up from previous articles. It's so much better than leaving them hanging.Thanks for all you do.
Although the logistics of welfare and how this would play out for a mother who was seeking to stay home full time after widowhood or abandonment are tricky, I wholly agree with where your heart is in this post, Lori. From my experiences working in legal services, often with low-income single moms, I have seen that many welfare systems are not set up as a permanent solution for young moms, but a temporary band-aid while they are seeking employment or other means of provision. Many states have limited welfare time-frames and requirements involving actively seeking employment while receiving welfare. For a young, Christian widowed mother who knows she does not want to work full-time, I wonder how she would feel going on welfare and having to look for work knowing that she will never actually take a full-time job. If I was in this position, I would almost feel like I was going on welfare under false pretenses, which would really bother me as a Christian. I don't know what the right solution is (short of a possible policy exception for abandoned/widowed mothers of young children), but I have personally witnessed many single moms who wished to stay home as much as possible find innovative solutions, including taking in children of family members or close friends in during the day for extra income, working from home doing tasks like stuffing envelopes (not glamorous, I know) or data-entry that can be done when children are napping, playing, or in-bed, starting up cottage industries, working a few hours a week in a trusted environment (like the church) while children are in the care of family members, teaching a skill in your home (piano, tutoring, art, etc.) or even starting a blog.
I am writing anonymously so as not to embarrass my friend. My friend is a widow. She wanted to homeschool her children and she received extremely low income - only $700 something a month on ALL of their social security survivor checks. A relative helped her with $100 a month. After they got a little older, she started a cleaning business and was able to take them along. She received food stamps. I do not know if she received anything else. I don't believe there is a one-size-fits all to these questions.
Cynthia Swenson's avatar

Cynthia Swenson · 601 weeks ago

I just want you to know I love you Lori! I think it's good to share our testimonies even though sometimes it looks touchy, but it's how we grow sometimes. God is making me more sensitive to know when I need to be quiet & pray. ( I do pray for you!) I think this fellowship is awesome, & yes Lori, your testimony has helped me tremendously as I have many young women in my family who need to be instructed in God's ways. You are setting a good example as an older woman teaching the younger. Keep up the good work! Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia
1 reply · active 601 weeks ago
Thank you, Cynthia. I love you too and appreciate your many encouraging words to me!
Going on welfare as a single mom or widow is a lot different than a family going on welfare because they don't make enough for the mom to stay home. Welfare isn't intended to be a long term income. If a husband isn't making enough at his job to provide enough for his family then he should get 2 jobs, or even 3 jobs if having a stay at home wife is what is important to their family. And planning to continue to have children while living off the government is wrong. If you can't support your children then you shouldn't intentionally have anymore until you are better able to provide for them. Welfare is a great program, as is WIC and unemployment and all the other programs to help those in need. But they shouldn't be used as a way of life. As stated in a previous comment they should be a band-aid
1 reply · active 601 weeks ago
Well said Michelle- Thank you for this comment!
Lori,
I applaud your courage in standing up for the less fortunate. If we as the body of Christ were doing what we were supposed to do, we wouldn't need the government to come to people's aid. One of the comments made by the new Pope Francis was "Oh, how I would like a poor church, and for the poor." Which I understood to mean a church that poured itself out for the poor. What if these wealthy churches (of all denominations) would sell off their properties, art work, and other valuable worldly investments, in order to serve the poor. The true beauty of Christ would be seen through out the world. I am as guilty as anyone of wanting to sit in a beautiful air conditioned church with padded pews, but when some one such as yourself brings up a touchy topic like this I am convicted deep within my soul. It brings to my mind the passage in the New Testament when the rich man asked Jesus what he must do to get to heaven. Jesus told him to sell off his possessions, give the money to the poor and follow him. And the rich man contemplated all that he had and went away sad. (Greatly Paraphrased) Sometimes I think that rich man is me. Thank you for being salt and light and a remarkable Titus 2 woman!
I completely agree with your position on this!
Welfare is great for short term problems, however from many studies it is known that children brought up on welfare with no working parent tend to also go on welfare when they are older (intergenerational welfare families). Children need role models where parent/s are working as can be seen with Dr Ben Carson - his mother worked very hard to keep her family off welfare and as a result produced a son who had witnessed a very strong work ethic leading him to have on himself. It is very important that mothers do not stay on welfare for long - if they are widowed or divorced, then a job (even if part-time) will improve the families opportunities. Living frugally (in poverty) is not situation that any family should have to endure for too long as it produces many social problems such as living in areas of low rent and high levels of families on welfare - this breeds all sorts of issues.
Danielle B's avatar

Danielle B · 601 weeks ago

My opinion on welfare? ONLY the disabled and elderly should be eligible. If you are able-bodied, man or woman you can work. Too many generations on welfare, kids see mom's on welfare, and think that's how life works.
3 replies · active 601 weeks ago
Yet, I bet you have no problem with corporate welfare.
Danielle B's avatar

Danielle B · 601 weeks ago

Nice try, but no.
Goodie for you. But maybe you should learn more about people who's lives were completely decimated by the recession and now they need help before you quickly jump to the conclusion that they don't deserve any welfare. Many of these people are educated, hard-working people who have fallen on hard times. Are there families that spend generations on welfare? Sure, but they are in the minority. Reagan's odious "welfare queen" analogy was complete BS.

And I only mentioned corporate welfare because I've noticed some conservative Christians railing against individual welfare, but turning a blind eye to corporate welfare, big business owning our politicians, the malfeasance of some CEOs and Wall Street types.

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