Friday, September 20, 2013

When Is It Okay To Disobey?



Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands
 in everything. {Ephesians 5:24}  So when is it okay to disobey our husbands?  Is it ever okay for the church to disobey Christ?

For one thing, Christ would never ask the church to sin.  Husbands may ask their wives' to sin.  I believe it is okay to disobey your husband if he asks you to do something that is clearly against Scripture such as participating in pornography, a threesome, open marriage, etc.

Scripture teaches, Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. {I Peter 3:1,2}

Our husbands will not be won by impure behavior even if he asks you to do it.  God is our highest authority so we must obey God rather than man,  which includes our husbands, and live pure and reverent lives as He has commanded us to do.

In the same way, we are commanded to obey our government, but if it asks us to abort our babies, we would not obey.  

However, wives are commanded to obey their husbands in everything so this must be your goal.  Most husbands will never ask their wives to sin so we should not use the "what ifs" to excuse disobeying our husbands.

Sunshine Mary recently made this comment on one of her posts,  "We do not need to stand in judgment of our husbands' instructions to us.  Almost always their instructions will be good ones, but even if on occasion they are not good, still we are commanded to obey them without fear, and to trust in God, the only One who never fails.  Sisters, God will not bless your rebellion against your husband, whatever the reason, but He will bless your submission and obedience."


Comments (6)

Loading... Logging you in...
  • Logged in as
Great post! I wish I could explain things in such a concise yet thorough way like you do. :)
Submission is something I've never learned about until I started reading your blog, Lori. Looking back now, I know I did learn it in church but it was never titled submission. We always just learned that the husband obeys the Lord and the wife honors the husband. Anyway - my point is that I still do have a hard time totally understanding it. I guess I can't really picture a marriage where my husband would tell me what to do in the first place? Maybe I'm understanding it wrong. But my husband asks my opinion on most things and wants to make ME happy. I don't boss him at all, and I'm very supportive and laid back. So maybe we just have a good balance. One example maybe I can think of is that recently he bought a car without okaying it with me first. I honestly wasn't mad but all my friends and family were shocked that I wasn't!
3 replies · active 601 weeks ago
It is really not that difficult. Most husbands are like your husband and want to please their wives. If a wife knows her husband likes the home to be kept tidy, wants hamburgers once a week, doesn't like the dishwasher running when he's watching sports, wants to relax when he comes home, likes the children to be clean, likes his wife in jeans more than skirts, etc. then a wife needs to obey these wishes. I am writing more to women who are married to unbelievers who may ask their wives to watch porn with them, participate in a threesome, have an open marriage, etc. something that is forbidden in Scripture then she should not obey him. Very few husbands, however, ask wives to participate in something sinful like these but if they do, they need to know that they should not.
That makes sense to me! Yes I don't think I realize sometimes how blessed I am.
I should also add, Tiffany, it's in bigger things like where you live, how the children are educated, what church you attend, etc. Most husbands will want the input of their wives in these decisions but if you cannot agree, the husband is the leader and has the final say.
What about situations in which the husband may have a weakness or vice that is not under control, such as an alcohol or gambling addiction?

I've seen situations in which a husband may make demands which are not sinful in themselves, but which will facilitate sin and possibly ruin for the family. Typically, these involve requests for money - for example, a husband may demand that a wife cash in retirement savings, or sign papers to allow a second mortgage to be put on the house, and will become extremely irate if questioned about the need for the money or where it is going.

In one case, the husband didn't deal with his debts and gambling problem until the wife finally stopped agreeing to his requests. He was initially angry, but the family had an intervention and reassured him of their continued love and support. Ultimately, it was a relief to him to be able to stop hiding his problem.

Post a new comment

Comments by