Tuesday, September 10, 2013

If Mamas Are Home, Who Will Be Nurses?


She's a working mama and has a great question concerning working mamas.  "I'm a nurse.  The truth is, most men won't do this work {only 5% of nurses are men}.  I feel called to serve God and others by nursing and being kind to my patients.  If mamas don't work, who would be the nurses?  Who would clean the poop and be gentle with the old people who have dementia?"

Children only get one mama. Children need their mamas more than the elderly. Children want to be raised by their mamas. God wants mamas home raising their children. It takes a lot of time to raise children to love Jesus, to have good manners, to be self-controlled and disciplined. This is a job for mamas.

Women who have never married make great nurses. Women who are married and haven't had children make great nurses. Women whose children are all grown up make great nurses.  There are many women who can be nurses who aren't raising children.

Childhood is fleeting. I would not have wanted to miss my babies' first smile, their first tooth, their first step, their first word, or any other of their firsts. I wouldn't want anyone else disciplining or raising my children. I gave life to them and I wanted to raise them.

If you have any possible way to raise your babies, I encourage you to do it. No one can take your place. Fathers are great but they are not mothers. Mothers have a nurturing, gentle spirit that God gave them to raise children. I loved having my mom home full-time to raise me. It was truly a gift from God.

I will therefore that the younger women marry, 
bear children, guide the house, 
give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
I Timothy 5:14

Comments (43)

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I totally agree with you Lori. There will always be some good excuse to not stay home with the kids. In my opinion the only real excuse is if it's a matter of true survival. Which would be food, shelter and clothing. Obviously I don't mean the big fancy house, two new cars, latest fashions, boats, etc. etc.
We all see how a lot of two income families live these days. I for one will not be fooled into their excuse that they couldn't get by on one income. It's a matter of choices. I with you believe many are making the wrong choice.
The break down of the family is one of the most, if not the most, detrimental things that has happened to our society. So many people don't want to look at this. They turn away from the salt of the earth. The healing and yet sometimes painful salt.
Thank you for offering light and salt to all of us who take the time to read your wonderful advice. You offer all of us healing. It is up to each of us if we want to accept it. It's definitely not always easy. I for one think it's worth it.
Thanks again.
I worked as a registered nurse before my husband and I decided my place was to be at home raising our children. I totally agree with your opinion on this, Lori!
Melanie Scarbrough's avatar

Melanie Scarbrough · 602 weeks ago

This woman says she feels called by God. Who are we to tell her otherwise if God wants her to work as a nurse?
4 replies · active 602 weeks ago
Lori, I agree with this post, as I do most of your posts. My mom stayed home with me and it was a blessing. So this question is not meant to come from a place of disagreement. I was wondering if you had any knowledge of how the phrase "keeper at home" was translated from the original language and context. The New Testament was written in a time when women were not leaving their homes to go to a day-job, so it leads me to think this phrase must have been in reference mainly to something else. Do you have any wisdom or thoughts on what being a keeper at home meant in the original context, who it was being written to and why? Thank you for your time and words.
7 replies · active 602 weeks ago
Cynthia Swenson's avatar

Cynthia Swenson · 602 weeks ago

I totally agree with this Lori. I just want to add that my mother was a single mom who had to work. I made up my mind at a young age that I would go on welfare or live with relatives or whatever it took to stay home with my children. God has always provided without resorting to those measures. I am thankful. Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia
4 replies · active 517 weeks ago
Children need their moms. I was fortunate enough to have my mom home with me and my 2 siblings. She was always there for us. We always had a home cooked meal on the table, a listening ear, clean laundry, etc. She was and still is a great example of the Proverbs 31 woman. My dad made very little money while we were teenagers but insisted my mom continue to stay home because he knew that's where she belonged and we needed her. I'm so thankful for that.
God always provided. Because of my mom's great example, I am now following in her footsteps as a stay at home mom. I appreciate her so much more now that I am a mom.
This is a personnel decision between a husband and wife and what may work for one family, may not for another. There is no one rule for ever one. These days with flexible working conditions, there are many different options available to families - part time or full-time, morning shifts, afternoon shifts, evening shifts etc. that make these choices much easier for many families. There is a growing trend for dads to work part-time and this is excellent - dads are also great at home - just as important as mum.

My mum worked and I never felt disadvantaged at any stage of my growing up - my mum and dad (jointly) created a stable loving Christian home and that's what is important. Having a SAHM doesn't guarantee this any more than a working mother. And yes, I have raised 2 beautiful children and worked - I am proud of how they have turned out as adults.
As others have pointed out, nursing is an excellent profession for working mothers -- the shift flexibility is unmatched, the pay and benefits (insurance, retirement plans, paid time off) are very good, the skills a nurse must have are useful in the home setting, and frankly it is a career path that is not going to be obsolete in time. Nursing is a high-demand career and it will remain so for the foreseeable future.
1 reply · active 602 weeks ago
The title of this post caught my eye because I am an RN. I'm also a wife. Though my husband and I are not yet blessed with children, once we are I'll be home with them full time.
One of the great things about nursing is that it has many forms. It's entirely possible to stay at home full time and still work as a nurse. I know many women who work just one or two weekends a month (while their husbands are home).
There are also a lot of nursing positions (things like chart reviews, research-related tasks, etc.) that can be completed from home.
In taking these approaches, moms can bring in much-needed income and keep up their skills in case they'd like to return to the workforce--and serve--when the kiddos are grown up.
My mother-in-law is an excellent nurse, but I wish she didn't have to work so much. There are very few Godly older women who are available to us "young-ish" wives and moms because they are all working. I'm thankful for you and a couple of other older women bloggers who are trying to step in and fill this huge ministry gap.
3 replies · active 602 weeks ago
As other nurses have already commented, nursing is a flexible profession. When my children were little I left my hospital position and switched to teaching Lamaze classes one evening a week. I was able to stay current with childbirth care. After 15 years I took a refresher course for clinical skills and returned to the hospital--earning money to help with the college years.
Nursing is a great profession for women for so many reasons already stated here... flexible hours, good pay, plenty of opportunities to advance (LPN to RN, RN to CNM, etc.), so many different types of work environments, and the double blessing of being able to use your professional skills for the benefit of family and friends. Certainly a career I would recommend to my own daughter.
3 replies · active 601 weeks ago
My friend is a nurse and while she loves helping others she said the profession itself is very draining and stressful. Many nurses she works with are going through divorces. She said the divorce rate among nurses is very high. She is a strong Christian, works part time and it is straining her marriage. Her health has declined due to lack of sleep and stress and she is mid-20's. I appreciate nurses, but this profession is not as ideal as it seems. I believe God wants women home taking care of their husbands and children.
Titus 2:3-5
"Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."
I agree with everything in the article except about childless wives and empty nesters. The Scriptures make no such distinction. Husbands need the ministry of their wives in the home as much or more than children do their mothers. But there are many ways a wife can and should contribute to her household's finances right in the 'covered' domain of her home. Babysitting, taking in laundry, making or growing items for sale (Prov. 31), and more than anything else, by being FRUGAL and content with what God provides her through her husband.
I'll take a different side here. My husband has his RN, and I've done CNA work for years off and on. I worked doing "flexible" nursing during the first few years of my son's life, when he was needing me the most, during his most developmental years, and have regretted it. In order to make the rent, food, basic utilities--no frills, just bare bones for a small apartment/basic try to stay low electric/gas/water/pay as you go cell, not even a land line, I had to work up to 17 hours a day plus pay the baby sitter, worked 12 days on and only off on the days my son was on his weekends home with me--I had full custody and took his weekends with me off. I missed out on a lot, and also he had major medical issues as well as developmental..he needed me. Those long hours wore me out, I aged fast, my body broke down, and I still have no desire to return to that work. I do not have any desire to return to the work force until he is raised (he is 11). My husband worked as a travelling nurse in his specialty for a long while and it cost him his body as well, and has become disabled due to significant back injuries requiring 2 surgeries, and now looking at both shoulders having surgery, plus extensive arthritis in his back, knees, hips, and ankles from all the long hours. As a male he was put with the heaviest, hardest to handle people, and it cost. Nursing is not all fun and games, it's not some romanticized job that everything is white and crisp and clean and no one gets hurt and you go home after 8 hours with no incidents. Each nurse or CNA I've known throughout my life has been injured, currently working disabled, or so run down they look like the walking dead. I had my own injuries that landed in a workman's comp area that netted a brand new car and a small house due to the nature of injuries working in nursing and negligence of the facility.

I agree with Lori on this--it is not the best option for the parent who wants to stay home with their kids. In nursing you are worked to death, understaffed for the amount of patient load, and you can't be what your kids need when you're dragging and worn down and injured. How can you be what your children and husband need if you're like that?

Once my bio son and stepchildren are all raised and gone on to their own homes, I may return to nursing...but while they are home...no on your life.
All that being said, I will never forget the day my son, three at the time, was in the ER with some mysterious seizures. The pediatric ER nurse was a man who'd been in my class in high school and he was really confident and really good with my little guy. And for some reason, even though I'd barely known this guy years before, I was that much more reassured because I did slilghtly know him.

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