Many of you are in very difficult marriages. Here is an example of one ~
My husband goes through a very dark period every year from about October - March. Seasonal depression, I don't know. He has had affairs and/or resorted to porn for a few years in a row during this time. He is unable to perform with me. But, he won't seek any kind of help. I was married once before to a man who was/is addicted to porn and his affairs were malicious and greedy and disgusting. I was not a Christian when I divorced him leaving me with two young children.
My current husband and I have been married for 12 years and have two children. But, it's different. His affairs are not malicious, they are full of pain. I am a Christian and seek God daily. I see the effects of divorce, still today, on my older two children who are 19 and 17. I have felt that God has told me that even if my husband is unable to be faithful to me and our marriage, that I am to remain faithful to him. It's difficult, but I just have to believe that God has a plan for all of this. My husband deals with a lot of abandonment issues from his childhood. I seriously want, in his last dying breath, for him to look in my eyes and know I never left him.
She wrote me personally and told me she didn't know what she would do without my words of wisdom and encouragement. It is through God's strength alone that she can continue being married to him and His strength is all we need.
I have mentored many women who were in difficult marriages and everyone else was telling them to leave their husbands. They would come to me broken and in despair wanting to give up. I would just let them know if they were looking for someone to encourage them to leave, they have come to the wrong person.
All of these women have eventually made their marriages better. It doesn't happen overnight and it may take a long time, but love definitely softens hearts. I love what this one woman who wrote above realizes the pitiful state her husband is in. She knows he is trapped in Satan's web but refuses to give up.
God is much more powerful and mighty than Satan. Satan may win some battles, but we know who wins the war. This husband will thank his precious wife someday for sticking by his side through his struggles. She is keeping her vow for better or for worse. Most importantly, she will receive her reward from the Lord. For He has promised this ~
Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth,
the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free.
Ephesians 6:8
Logging you in...
Cynthia · 600 weeks ago
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/seasonal-affecti...
From the forest itself comes the handle of the axe. God provides the means for a cure along with the disease - we just need to find it. In this case, light - whose absence triggers the disorder - is the key to the treatment.
Someone is a depressed state will not always recognize the cause or be motivated to seek treatment. Caring family, particularly a spouse, can play a supportive role in documenting symptoms, doing research, speaking to doctors and guiding the loved one toward treatment. Of course, all of this needs to be done with prayer, but one of the effects of prayer can be to guide us to action and out of helplessness.
It takes wisdom and guidance from others, particularly those who have gone through the same experience, to walk the line between abandonment and enabling, but it is possible to both make it clear to a loved one that you are committed to them while at the same time making it clear that a downward spiral cannot be allowed to continue. This would be one example of how a wife can be a true "ezer k'negdo" (the original Hebrew word often translated as help meet, which actually means help opposite). When he is drawn down into this dark world, she can give him a hand up. Leviticus 19:16 makes it clear that we have an obligation to act when anyone - especially a husband! - is in danger.
Unprocessed Woman · 600 weeks ago
Yesterday (as in all the days/years before) my husband once again flung Satan's arrows my way. In his state of unforgiveness & pride (yes, my husband's pride goes before him) he also reminds me of my sin of unsubmission (this is not true, but the Enemy has twisted his mind).
So....Connie Hulquist (link on Mrs. White's page thelegacyofhome.blogspot.com) has been a major comforter for me.
His repeated outbursts no longer cause me any pain or harm. My offers to pray for him get laughter in return. And this man of mine believes he is spiritually leading our home. I kid you not.
He is addicted to his anger. He is addicted to creating drama. He weeps retelling the "sins" against him as if they happened moments before.
So...God definitely wants us gals to stay, and FIGHT!!! To STAND. In His armor. And hopefully that prophetic balm to me is not for when I am on my deathbed!
unprocessed woman · 600 weeks ago