One family consists of a husband and wife with one child. The parents are morbidly obese. The house is a mess. They live on junk food. The son gets up whenever he pleases and then watches television or plays video games all day.
The other family has three children. The whole family gets up early, eats a healthy breakfast, and then works out. The children all do their chores without being asked. In fact, if they see something that needs to be done, they do it such as dusting or vacuuming. Their home was very clean and tidy. They are all in great shape. They all work hard and eat very healthy. In their free time, they are outside playing catch or basketball.
One family is training their child to be lazy and overweight, doing whatever he pleases. The other family is training their children to work hard, stay in shape, and eat healthy. They will grow up to be disciplined adults.
The wives change places. The overweight mother tries to get the three children to "have more fun" so she takes the girls out to get fake nails. The girls take them off soon afterwards since they are both volleyball players. She wants to get them to stop doing so many chores. The children enjoy doing their chores. She is stunned.
The other mother starts getting the obese father and son to work out, eat healthy, and start helping around the home. In one week, the father loses twelve pounds and is starting to feel better.
This Wife Swap show was clear that we have the power to train our children in the way they should go. You can actually train your children to enjoy working, eating healthy, and staying in shape. It is a gift you give them that will keep on giving all of their lives.
On the other hand, you can train them to be lazy, only eat junk food, be messy and disorganized, and not enjoy working. They will suffer their entire lives for their lack of discipline unless they can learn to discipline themselves when they get much older but it is so much easier to learn discipline when one is young.
Take your role as parent seriously and raise productive, hard-working children. Everyone benefits, especially the children.
Train up a child in the way he should go:
and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 21:6
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Tiffany · 603 weeks ago
Cynthia · 603 weeks ago
I'm not a fan of "reality TV", which is actually highly produced and edited. They select families that are as different as possible, engineer conflict and selectively edit a week's worth of footage into the most dramatic and conflict-filled show that they can make. I know that the families gain something financially, but it's quite exploitive. It also feeds into a type of media culture, where we see so many extreme situations that our brains literally get re-programmed, and we lose the ability to pay attention to normal life, rational discussion. Subconsciously, even if we "know" that things like Wife Swap are highly edited shows, they form reality in our minds.
That said, parents do indeed set the tone for a home. Habits and routines are powerful teaching tools, and are the primary way that very young children learn. I did a study group on Proverbs, and this is one of the meanings of the line "train up a child". If we look at the original Hebrew wording, it is literally translated as "train up a child in HIS way", not THE way (the Hebrew word is "darko", not "derech"). The word for train is not the same as the word used for more formal study. Instead, it refers to things like habits and routines and role modeling - training a toddler in HIS way, which involves lots of repetition and consistency. Toddlers do not learn in the same way as adults. The very things that drive some adults crazy - endless repetition, being rigid about rules - are the precise ways that their brains are designed to learn and retain information long-term. So, if a child develops habits and patterns at a very early age, those will shape him for life and "he will not depart from it".
Lori Alexander 122p · 603 weeks ago
PJB · 603 weeks ago
Cynthia · 603 weeks ago
To lose a pound of fat, one must burn 3,500 calories more than they consume. A weight loss of 2 lbs/week requires a daily calorie deficit of 1,000 calories - that's what I would burn if I did an elliptical machine for 3 hours. I'm pretty sure that nobody is going to do 18 hours per day, every day, of intense exercise, and if they tried, the body would likely try to save calories by switching to starvation mode and lowering the metabolism.
If weight loss is more than 2 lbs/week, it is likely not fat that is being lost. It's possible to lose water rapidly, or to clean out intestines. Rapid weight loss is also often associated with loss of muscle mass, which can lead to weight gain as loss of muscle lowers your metabolic rate.
Lori Alexander 122p · 603 weeks ago
Cynthia · 603 weeks ago
The heavier mother was dedicated to her children and family, while the fit mother was busier and had less time for them. One viewed food as a celebration, for the other, food seemed to be the enemy.
Changes were definitely needed in order to have some balance, for both families. I relate to food being associated with love, family and celebration, and treasure sit-down meals as sacred family time. You can make healthier food choices without taking all of the joy out of meals.
Lori Alexander 122p · 603 weeks ago
Deb · 603 weeks ago
Poorly Parented · 603 weeks ago
I sought your blog for help and guidance but I do not think I will keep reading. It is for future mothers not grown children of "bad ones." Why even try when all these things are already wrong with me? How can I aspire to anything - career OR family - when I'm so screwed up and it'll takes years to undo?
Lori Alexander 122p · 603 weeks ago
ayearinskirts 66p · 600 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 600 weeks ago