Friday, August 1, 2014

Can You Have a Joyful Marriage Being Unequally Yoked?


Once in a while, one of the women who comment on my posts will blow me away with their powerful testimony of loving their husband through difficult times. When I wrote What Happened To Cooking For Your Family?, a reader asked this question ~  

I wonder if there's an underlying emotional problem hindering many of us from caring enough to cook? I want to cook but it's not in me to cook often, and it was never an issue before {married 20+ years}. When I worked, I somehow made the time to cook. I don't work now but the marriage situation is pathetic, unfortunately {unequally yoked}. Could it be that women who happily cook for their husbands are happily married? I definitely would appreciate all the prayers I can get.  

One woman responded to this plea this way ~

I am unequally yoked myself. Wow did God have his work cut for this lady. Lol. Still working. ;) There are two books I want to encourage you to read: 1) Beloved Unbeliever and 2) Created To Be His Help Meet. Read them in that order.

The first one prepares your heart for the second one. The second one is a buttkicker, but it has changed my life. I am still working on applying things as we speak actually but it has changed my heart and my spirit in ways I can't describe!!! To the point that when we hit a pretty low low in the last year when I asked God for the words to explain my heart, I told my hubby {after he was accusing me of being unhappy with him being an unbeliever and telling me I wanted to leave, even though it was not true} that if he never comes to Christ I'm not going anywhere. That I love him and will be happy with him till the day I die.

That there was no catch. That I will choose joy no matter what choice he makes. The best part? I actually believed what I said. For years, I have tucked in my heart "when he comes to love the Lord..." But I finally gave in 100% to God and said no matter whatever he does I choose to love him. Not thinking one more thought about "how it will be one day..." 

I have come a long ways from the wife that was gonna wrestle her husband to God and make him love Jesus. All I can do is love him and yes, make dinner for him and do his laundry and that actually may be the very thing that wins him over, even if I don't live to see the day he does. Love  to you sister. The road is long and weary but we can keep going because we have Jesus!!! He will love us well!!!

She now lives I Peter 3:1-2, "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation {lifestyle} of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." She will reap beautiful fruit from the choices she is making by loving and serving her husband simply because the Lord commands her to and His ways are always best.


Comments (11)

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Amen! I too am unequally yoked. It is by far much harder than I ever could've imagined. There is no mercy from a man who doesn't know God. It has been a long weary road as the poster said. He says he believes now. But there is little to no fruit. He does go to church with us though. And is actually involved in many of the mens' activities. That all took 10 years. It just takes prayer constantly, and submission. And pleading your case with the Lord while also knowing you deserve everything you get and that God has a way to work out evil for good. All of that is biblically appropriate, and all of it is true. And submitting was the best thing I ever did for our marriage. I am the queen to his king, and get all of the blessings that go with that. Prayers for all unequally yoked marriages.
1 reply · active 556 weeks ago
Thankful he is going to church and hearing the word. I am sure your godly submission speaks very loudly to him!
I needed this reminder this morning. Thank you.
I'm with Celina, and thank you also.
My heart is too heavy to explain my marriage situation, but please say prayers. It is such a long hard road to follow God's way when things are bad. Hoping He uses our marriage for the good someday.
1 reply · active 556 weeks ago
Dear Heavenly Father, I lift up dear Krystal to you and her heavy heart. I pray you give her strength in her marriage to be the wife you have called her to be even though it is so difficult. Help her to find a godly woman who will pray with her and encourage her. May she be consistently in your Word and prayer to help her carry this heavy burden and thank you that ALL things work together for good to those who love you and are called according to your purposes. Bring her husband to you. May the blinders come off and may he repent and believe in you. In Jesus precious name, Amen
Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin is the most wonderful book for helping women become the best helpmeets to their husbands and giving them the insights to bring out the best in their husbands to not only make their homelife better, but help them to be Godly men. We also have a support group on Facebook. I'm praying all of you find peace and joy in your marriages and homes.
1 reply · active 556 weeks ago
That is a great book, Jodi! Thank you for mentioning it.
My experience with this:
http://terrybreathinggrace.wordpress.com/2009/03/...

It is more than doable with Christ's strength.

-Els
1 reply · active 556 weeks ago
What a beautiful story, Elspeth. Thank you for sharing.
What a POWERFUL comment about being unequally yoked... and willing to stay no matter what, serving him with love, mercy and grace.

My mother raised four children and was unequally yoked in all of 25 years of marriage (plus two days). When the judge's gavel came down, and the marriage was unretrievably broken, she was left to raise the youngest, a 13-year-old boy, at home as a single mother. Dad left her for another married woman who left her second husband for my dad.

I have never once heard my mother speak as unbecoming a woman of God about my father. Sure, we might joke about "Your dad always...," you know, the funny things. But because Mother had a heart for God, and always encouraged her children to forgive our dad-- "He doesn't know the Lord like we do, Kelley"-- today we all have a... um... nice, pleasant, not close, but agreeable relationship with him.

People are watching the example of an unequally yoked mate-- especially the unsaved mate! No matter what they do right or what they do wrong, living a biblical lifestyle as a servant is always right. I watched Mother do it; it can be done.

I commend these precious ladies who left comments that they are giving it their best, they are trying to serve their mates as unto the Lord. I'm certain that "it's a struggle" is an understatement to the nth degree. But if God's Word says you can do it, I believe you can!

Prayers for you ladies today. Precious, precious ladies. May God give you strength and inspiration to think of ways and ideas to bless and not curse your husband and families. May the Glory of the Lord be on your houses because of your bridled tongues and servant-hearts.

Compassionate prayers,
Kelley

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