Always Learning: Should Older Women Have Careers?

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Should Older Women Have Careers?

There is a woman who has been commenting on my blog for many years. She is a working mother and wife. Her children are all grown but whenever I teach about women being keepers at home, she has to add her two cents about how beautiful her life is even though she works outside of the home.

Recently, she made this comment on a post ~

As I lay in bed this morning I contemplated my choices. I could decide to stay home today {and for evermore} and have a sleep in, a lazy day {as the housework is all done} reading, watching movies, sewing, blogging, cooking – putting my feet up or I could get up and go to work. I have no children at home – so life at home would be a breeze.

Yes, some older women who stay home can choose to do those things but they can also choose to mentor young women as they are commanded to do. They can babysit their grandbabies, cook for families who are suffering, help clean a young mother's home for her, serve her elderly parents, teach Bible studies, listen to sermons and read books to learn more to teach younger women, help her husband in his work, plus many other very beneficial things that our society desperately needs, but is losing out with all the older women having careers.

Paul gives a job description for older women in Titus 2:3, " The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becomes holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women..." Sounds like a great job description to me!

If the older women can run a home, care for her husband, teach the young woman, along with lodging strangers, washing the saints' feet, relieve the afflicted and follow every good work as I Timothy 6:10 states, then I am sure the Lord wouldn't mind if she had a career.

*The above picture is Nancy Campbell and her husband. She mentors young women all the time about the value about being a wife and a keeper at home. You can find her HERE.

Comments (28)

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Mrs. W. · 554 weeks ago

Women who return to work when they are older are usually only thinking about themselves and what they are going to do with "their" time, but rarely are thinking about what greater good they could do for the Lord by remaining a homemaker through ministry to their husband, older children, extended family, neighbors and the needy and mentoring younger ladies as Titus 2 instructs. You can't mentor younger women to be keepers of the home if you aren't living the lifestyle yourself. And now that older ladies have less responsibilities, instead of going to work, they can increase their ministry to bless more people (than what a mom with young children has time for).

Lori I love your response to this lady's comment!!!

2 replies · active 554 weeks ago

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Becky · 554 weeks ago

Bravo! Thank you:) I love babysitting my grandkids, cooking supper for the young men's Bible Study we host in our home (they never have a home cooked meal) and am now canning and freezing all produce from my garden which is exhausting. Rewarding, but exhausting. You can stay busy at home.
Thanks for the support!

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Erin · 554 weeks ago

Thank you for this Lori!!! As a younger mom to a 2 and 4 year old at home, I WISH more older moms stayed home, and that I had more mentoring from them. I plan on continuing to stay home when my kids are in school for this reason. I have a question though- does anyone have a well articulated response to that question we always get- "When are you going back to work?" I feel so expected to do that, and would love to have a well thought out answer, but without over explaining. Thanks!

3 replies · active 554 weeks ago

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katy010305 45p · 554 weeks ago

Beautifully said! :) I really enjoy your posts Lori :)

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HisHelper · 554 weeks ago

I just love Nancy Campbell and her heart for wives, mamas, and families! :-) As much as I savor the time I have now with my children at home, I pray that the Lord will be nowhere near finished using me for His kingdom when my precious children leave home! That thought helps ease my mind when I am reminded of the dreaded "empty nest syndrome" that seems inevitably lurking ahead!

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cigirl32 0p · 554 weeks ago

@ Mrs. W.
"Women who return to work when they are older are usually only thinking about themselves and what they are going to do with "their" time, but rarely are thinking about what greater good they could do for the Lord by remaining a homemaker through ministry to their husband, older children, extended family, neighbors and the needy and mentoring younger ladies as Titus 2 instructs. "

My children are all grown and I work full-time. I am wondering where you get your facts about what women that return to work are thinking or feeling. I work because my husband wants me to work. I do volunteer at church and in women's ministry. I do most of the housework and some of the shopping.

To assume that those that are working are somehow not fulfilling their God given roles is insulting and rather presumptous. While it may be your experience with the women that you know personally, it is not necessarily representative of all working women.

Perhaps a little bit of beam vs speck could be going on here?

1 reply · active 553 weeks ago

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Katherine Meier · 554 weeks ago

I have always dreaded the empty nest, ever since my children were young. Although I do miss them very much (our youngest just left a couple months ago), I am enjoying this new season of my life more than I could imagine. It is like my husband and I are newlyweds all over again! I have so many projects going, things I've always wanted to learn or do but didn't have the time- or the energy! I am still concentrating my efforts on my home and family, more than ever, it is just a little different now. I am thankful I can be here to support my husband in his work and look for ways to be a help and encouragement to him. I am here for anyone else the Lord would bring our way. I am committed to my job as a Homemaker for the rest of my life, and will do my best at this high calling as unto the Lord until he calls me Home. Blessings, Katherine

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Colleen · 554 weeks ago

Going through hard times in my own life right now I made a promise to myself that when my last baby leaves the nest I want to reach out to those young mothers who need a Titus 2 woman in their life. I would desperately love to have someone like that for me right now. Imagine the difference just one woman can make in a young mothers life, who would possibly in turn do the same for another mom, repeating the cycle!

Titus 2 women, you are needed. Desperately. Find that young mom at Church. Give her a smile and a hug. Tell her she is doing a great job. Sometimes, that's all we need to hear to give us the motivation to continue on our day.

Having a career is a personal choice and will give you worldly rewards. But making your life mission to help young mothers could make a difference in lives for generations to come, making your rewards eternal.

A personal story of a young mother reaching out to an older woman: This older woman had no family around. She was physically disabled, needed to be driven anywhere she went. But oh how she loved my children. She would sit on the couch in front of the worship center every Sunday waiting for our children to say good morning to her. See, her oldest son was in prison and her 2nd son wanted nothing to do with her. We filled a gap for her.

Mother's Day in 2013 we invited her to brunch. I asked my husband if we could celebrate her thatyear instead of me. He agreed. We spent hours at that restaurant with her, making memories and loving on her. When we dropped her of at home that afternoon I cried and said I wanted to do that again next year.

We didn't realize that was to be her last mother's day. She died 9 months later. I miss her smiling face on Sundays. I miss how much she loved my children. My point is, if I had wanted to celebrate me instead of her that year I would have missed out on so much. I would not have those last memories with her. Don't push back your ministry to help young moms thinking you can do it next year. We're not guaranteed tomorrow. Make a difference today. On behalf of drowning, young mothers everywhere I beg you Titus 2 women to help. To give us that smile. To hug our necks. We need you. And you never know who might bless you in return.

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Tiffany · 554 weeks ago

My mom and mother in law both stay home, even as empty nesters. It has been nice because they are available! We live a couple of hours from each of them, but they have always been able to help us when babies are born, I'm having rough pregnancies, etc. I think they also deserve some quiet years after so many years of raising their children! My mom has gotten involved in a choir, serving at church, etc. It has been great for her.

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Jennifer Dunn · 554 weeks ago

Thank you Lori! I find that so often it is touted that once the children leave the home that a woman no longer needs to be a keeper of the home. What? You don't stop being a homemaker just because your children are grown....you still need to care for your husband and then with the extra time you should spend it on encouraging and supporting other women to be who God has called them to be. As far as I am concerned, a career outside of the home at any time is just an excuse to be "ME" centred. Sometimes it's necessary to work outside the home, but such a blessing it is to have older women who are home and willing to share their lives and experience with us younger women. Being a homemaker is a lifelong blessing that God has given women.

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Amanda · 554 weeks ago

So what if your children are all in school, and your Husband would like you to return to work outside the home? If we are to be obedient to our Husband's wishes, should we return to work and just try to manage everything else, like the housework, cooking, helping the children etc after we get home...or ask the Husband to pitch in and help? I believe the homekeeping is my duty, but when I have to work outside the home as well...I just get to exhausted trying to do everything well. What do you do in this situation?

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Annabel Smith · 554 weeks ago

Someone feeling that they have to comment and disagree with you every time for years has a problem and is trying to tear down what you are saying.
Also what she wrote shows she has no understanding of what she should be doing. Its not sleeping in and watching movies. No wonder she cannot see its value.
But some people cannot learn and do not want to.
As my daughters come into the time they are having babies I feel it is very important I am available. I am always busy and happy. There is so much to do. Thank you.

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mvstephenson 44p · 554 weeks ago

I don't have family around, though 2 out of 3 grandmas are retired, they come and help me frequently. I'm so thankful for that! I'd love to be able to help out my daughter and daughter in laws when they are young mothers!

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Mrs Abella · 554 weeks ago

I wish there were more of the older women who are willing to take us "youngers" under their wing. I've waded and struggled for years, especially with special needs children, and had no real outside help or example. My own mother passed on 11 years ago, a year after my son was born. My now mother in law is disabled and homebound, deaf for the most part, and has beginnings of dementia, and requires constant care. Most other older women I know work now that their home is "empty", and are busy with activities and clubs and so on. I've learned more on the net from folks than from anyone in person. It shouldn't have to be that way, but alas, it is.

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Linda · 554 weeks ago

My reply focuses more on the question, "Should older Christian women have a career?" You cannot expect older women who are not familiar with God's word to allow His teachings to touch their hearts and shape their life. But for the older Christian women the Titus 2:3-5 passage deserves our attention. As we pray and meditate on this scripture we realize that God has entrusted the older women with an awesome responsibility. As we watch the news and look around our communities we see the broken homes and the despair of living without God. What a privilege God has given us! He empowers us to be the salt and light in the very core of our existence - the family. Now my heart goes out to the older Christian women who must work outside the home. Along with the stress of making a living they have their heart turned toward God. There may be a tendency to try and do it all. I know some of these women and I see how hard it is for them. I also know some older Christian women who are working outside the home and they don't need the money. Since they know the Titus 2 scripture their interpretation of this passage will determine how they are fulfilling the privilege God has given them. My suggestion for all women is to have a private time, home alone in the scripture. Not a rushed 5 minute devotion but an extended period of reading, prayer and meditation on His word. Then in the stillness and peace of His word ask the question, "God how can I live my life in a way that pleases you? Show me Your way.

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Kathy · 554 weeks ago

I'm actually working full time outside my home and serving The Lord at the same time by doing this. My husband and I lost most of our savings in the last stock market crash. A few years ago, he asked me to go back to work to help him make ends meet. He hasn't had a raise at his job in over 5 years & we are also helping our oldest to finish his college degree while he attends classes and works a part time internship job. I didn't want to go back to work & spent a lot of time at first feeling sorry for myself. I was angry at my husband & felt like he had sinned against me by asking me to work outside my home. But since I found Lori's blog, I've come to realize that I am first and foremost a helper to my husband and that I'm being obedient to God by working a job in order to help him. I would still rather be home, but The Lord was gracious in supplying me a job that suits me well (I'm a nurse). I believe God is pleased with the sacrifice I am making to be my husband's helper. Because of that belief, based on God's Word, I can make this sacrifice with joy. Thank you, Lori, for showing me what God expects a Christian wife to be.

1 reply · active 550 weeks ago

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Jane Beyer Swanson · 553 weeks ago

Love and Agree with your post as always Lori. ♥ I'm 55 and have been a stay-at-home wife & mama for over 20 years (married at age 34). Our youngest daughter has one more year of homeschool left and then she graduates in the spring. I already know that I never wish to return to the work-outside-of-the-home world as I've been there and did that for over 14 years before marriage & for a short time after until pregnancy 1 sent me home to bed rest. I never found the little pleasures of working outside of the home to outweigh the stress of the daily politics and adult bullying that I found in the corporate world. Although my husband works and we live comfortably, yet we have always chose to do without some things that others might deem essential, like cell phones and satellite TV. We never wish to be so enslaved to expenses that I must work to make ends meet (not saying that above commenters are - I haven't read the comments, this is just a general statement.). Anywho, although I could work outside of the home, I truly LOVE staying home and investing my time and talents in my family. I already know of several projects I wish to start, Lord willing, once we are finished homeschooling (which has been my life & love for over 15 yrs) and also hope to start an Etsy (online) business with my hubby's help too, not because I feel I must, but as a ministry. I desire to be a Titus 2 "older" woman and although I find that most of the younger women in our church do not wish to accept mentoring of Godly women (a sad commentary of our church), at least I can be here for our daughters, live a Godly example, and do what I can. Thanks for your great posts Lori!

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Shannon McCrary · 553 weeks ago

As a homeschooling mom with 5 young children, I have been praying for a woman who might come into my home and help me fold laundry once a week. My mother-in-law is single and works, my step-mom works and my own mom lives far away. Almost all of the older women in my church are working and so they are all very busy. It's difficult to be working and still be available.

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R G · 553 weeks ago

Wow. This is an interesting long term vision thing to think about. I would love to have a godly older someone mentor me. I just read a very old commentary where the Bible scholar was saying the lady has a place at home and associated with children all their life long - as a daughter, learning skills & how to care for children, then as a young lady being an example to young children who will naturally look up to them, then as a wife when younger girls think about how wonderful marriage must be, then adding children & becoming a mother to their own young children, then as a more seasoned mother when their children are getting a bit bigger introducing them to opportunities to care for younger children & training them, then as an 'empty nester,' then as a grandmother, then as a great grandmother, etc. etc. Of course I am not putting it as eloquently as that man of God did, but it is interesting that now I would encounter this article and the debate in the comments. I will continue to pray & seek what God would have me to set as my ideal on this subject while I am still a fairly young mother. Question: Does what Nancy Campbell do constitute a career?

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sandimat 8p · 551 weeks ago

Lori,
I can not tell you how much I have enjoyed stalking your blog this afternoon (LOL)!! This post, along with another about losing your joy, are touching a nerve. No one knows me here, so I can admit to not liking my life much anymore; I am not content. I KNOW what God says about this, and I am guilty as can be. I don't want to be this way. I have many, many, many times wondered where the older (to me this does not necessarily have to be in age, but maturity in their Christian walk) woman is? I have prayed for a mentor. Someone mentoring in love, not being judgmental and holier-than-thou. I'm not even looking for help in our home, just someone to sharpen me. Well, maybe that isn't entirely true ... I wish I had a friend to walk along beside me to teach me to sew, garden, can, etc. :) I am so afraid of mean Christians, I find it safer to simply be in my Bible daily - everyday with our girls, as well as alone. *sigh*
Thank you for encouraging women to reach out. I hope someday I can glorify and honor Him by being able to meet the need of another as I myself desire now. By any chance do you know anyone in SW Ohio?!! :)

I really enjoy your blog.

In Him~
Sandi

1 reply · active 551 weeks ago

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