The Bible does not say, "Wives, train up your husband in the way he should go..." Nowhere does it say we should teach them how to live their lives. It doesn't even say we should set boundaries with our husbands. {The only boundaries you should set with anyone is if they ask you to sin and do something completely contrary to God's Word.}
You cannot change your husband. You cannot change him through pouting, manipulation, controlling, crying, arguing, or withdrawing. Nothing like this will change your husband. You must allow the Lord to change your husband. You can keep trying to change him and destroy ALL intimacy in your marriage or you can decide to STOP and probably have the marriage you have always dreamed of having.
How do you do this? You work on changing yourself. It is that simple. Keep your finger and focus pointed on you, work on yourself, and let the Lord work on your husband. Work on having a gentle and quiet spirit. Work on rejoicing always and having a joyful spirit with a smile often on your lips. {I do find that to be the best face lift as you get older. My wrinkles don't show nearly as badly when I smile!}
Draw so close to the Lord that your husband can't help but see Him in you. The more you become like Jesus, the more your husband will be drawn to you. Pouting, manipulation, crying, etc. just pushes husbands away from their wives and builds a huge wall between you that gets thicker and thicker with each argument.
Tear down that wall! Wave the white flag of surrender. Decide today that you are no longer going to try to fix your husband. You are only going to work on fixing yourself. Lay your husband down at the foot of the cross and leave him there. Don't go back and try to pick him up. You just focus on yourself.
Spend a lot of time in God's Word and prayer. Read encouraging books and blogs. Get involved with a good church. Dwell on the lovely, the good, and the holy. Find godly friends that NEVER speak evil about their husbands. Fill your life with good things.
Finally, love your husband, flaws and all. Really love him. Accept him just the way that he is. Serve him. Find out what he loves and begin doing it for good always overcomes evil.
Confess resentment and bitterness as sin. They are in the same list of scripture as drunkenness, adultery, witchcraft, etc. Sins of the emotions may be hidden to others, but they can destroy you from the inside out. Ask God to take away those strong feelings of bitterness and unforgiveness. Let go of them!
And above all things have fervent love among yourselves:
for love shall cover a multitude of sins.
I Peter 4:8
