Have Them Early And Often

This is the advice Ken gives to our married children concerning having children.  I was pondering this when a woman wrote a post about her honeymoon baby in response to my post on Ryan and Erin's honeymoon baby.

In her post she said how happy she was that she had children early, because she became unable to have children in her 30's, I think because of illness.  This is exactly what happened to me!

I had four children in five and one half years.  Cassi, my baby, was born when I was only 30 years old.  I became very ill after that for 20 years.  We wanted more children, even four more, but I was too sick.  I remember thinking how blessed I was to have the four children I had since I couldn't have anymore.

I think women today take their fertility and having babies for granted.  They think they can have them any time they want and when they want.  Usually, they pursue a career, travel, etc. before settling down and getting married.  Then they discover they can't get pregnant.

Now if you are doing it in God's timing...waiting for the husband God has chosen and still are unable to conceive, you just have to trust God knowing that He is in control and works out everything for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.  {The key being "love Him and called according to His purpose"...meaning He is Lord of your life and you walk in obedience to Him}.

When we do things our way, they usually don't turn out so good.  God's ways are good.  He knows what He is doing.

One woman I know got married young and didn't believe in birth control.  Her husband had a rare disease which causes tumors all over his body and they usually die young.  They had five precious children right in a row.  The father died at 27 years old.  Were they irresponsible?

Even though the father had that disease,  he had a wonderful wife and enjoyed every moment he had with his children. His short life was rich and full.  God will take care of his wife.  He promises to take care of widows and orphans, mostly through His people.

I know the mother is so happy she had the children God blessed her with.  They bring much joy into her life.  God smiles upon pregnancy and babies.  He is our provider.  He knit us in our mother's womb.  Celebrate life!  Celebrate God who is the giver of every precious life!

Happy is the man that has his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed. 

Psalm 127:5

P.S.  The picture above is of my whole family celebrating my mom's 80 birthday!  Baby Emma is in Erin's tummy. :)

Inner Serenity and Goodness

The fifth secret of winning the love of your husband from The Secrets Of Fascinating Womanhood is to develop inner serenity and goodness.

The author states that she has seen many marriages restored even after years of being divorced when these principles are lived out, especially the first four.

The next six secrets teach women how to become more lovable...

Men expect women to be better than them.  They want their wives to be more cheerful, more kind, more forgiving, more caring, and more spiritual than them.  It is what attracts them to the feminine race!

No man can deeply love a sullen, resentful woman.  Nor a promiscuous one. Nor a noisy, argumentative one who is always yelling at the children. 

He needs a wife to create a peaceful and feminine home atmosphere so necessary to renew his spirits.

We lose our serenity by doing things that our conscience {or Holy Spirit} tells us are wrong, especially during the teenage years.

When we love people unconditionally, even at the expense of our own comfort, we are on the path to inner security.  {Sounds like obedience to God to me!}  It is the way to find real joy.

She explains that we do wrong things, because we allow our emotions to rule our will power.  I have said many times that where men struggle with their sexual nature, women struggle with their emotional nature.

Learning to tame that monster is something you can do.  If you are a believer in Jesus, you have Him living inside of you.  A fruit of the Spirit is self-control so you have self-control available to you.  Believe it!  Practice it!

She then encourages women to stop blaming other people or circumstances for their problems and start really forgiving others.  Leave others in God's hands for justice and start living your life in the freedom that Christ came to give you.

Start being women of prayer, meditating on God's Word, filling your mind with good things, and renewing your mind with God's truths and His promises.  This is the best way to inner serenity and goodness if you ask me!

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.   

Colossians 3:16

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 

Philippians 4:6,7

Secret #1 ~ Accept Him As He Is
Secret #2 ~ Admire His Masculinity
Secret #3 ~ Make Him Number One
Secret #4 ~ Allow Him To Lead


P.S.  I love this man's take on Halloween ~ Hallowing Halloween.

A Blood Transfusion

Our favorite Bible teacher is Michael Pearl.  Eight years ago, we went to a week long conference that he taught on Hebrews.  From him we learned who we are in Christ.  It is life changing when you understand this.  He gave a great illustration of a true story to illustrate what Christ did for us on the cross ~

There is a family that lives in the desert of Arizona.  The father works with poisonous snakes getting their venom so that antivenins can be produced to save people who have been bitten by them.  Each snake bite requires an antivenin specific to the snake that bit.  The venom from the snakes would be sent to UCLA to be made into antivenins.

One time he was hours away from home and received a frantic phone call from his wife telling him that their young son had been bitten by a venomous snake.  They rushed him to the emergency room.  The doctor informed the mother that they had no antivenin anywhere near them to counteract the venom that he had flowing through his veins.

The father finally reached the hospital in time for the doctor to tell him that there was nothing they could do for the boy.  There just wasn't enough time to get the antivenin from UCLA.

The father looked at the doctor and said, "Use my blood to save my son's life."

The doctor looked at him sadly and said, "Your blood will do no good.  We need the antivenin to this particular snake venom.  Yours is not that."

The father replied, "I have been bitten numerous times by every single snake that I work with and my blood has built up an immunity to all of them.  My blood will save his life."

So they immediately hooked up the father and the son to cause a blood transfusion to take place between the two of them and the boy's life was saved with his father's blood coursing throughout his bloodstream.

This is what Jesus did for us.  When you believe in Him as your Saviour, His blood courses through your bloodstream freeing you from guilt, sin and condemnation.  You are a new creature in Christ.  He has rescued you from the dominion of darkness and now you walk in newness of life.  Praise Him from whom all blessings flow!

If you would like to hear more of this new life in Christ, I encourage you to download Romans 6-8 taught by Micheal Pearl.  It is powerful and life changing.

Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation {empty manner of life} received by tradition from your fathers;  But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot. 

I Peter 1:18,19

True Prevention for Breast Cancer

October is Breast Awareness Month.  Before I give my opinions, I want to make sure you know I am not a doctor.  All these opinions are my own so take them with a grain of salt.  I appreciate the medical profession and how many women's lives have been saved through treatment.

My mom had a video several years ago of five prominent oncologists who said the key to cancer is prevention.  Cancer is usually in the body ten to twelve years before it manifests itself.  Treatment is still dicey because a lot of the treatments used to fight cancer, cause cancer.

Dr. Marshall believes mammograms will be outlawed in five years.  He thinks ultrasounds should be used to detect breast cancer instead.  Smashing a breast and radiating it just doesn't seem healthy to me.  He also believes women should never use under wire bras because it prevents drainage of the lymphatic system.  He encourages women to take out the under wire if it is made of metal.  Find ones that are made of plastic. 

Deodorant also needs to be taken into consideration.  Most deodorants are made of pure chemicals and you put it right over all your lymph nodes and breast tissue.  The deodorant I use is completely chemical free and keeps you from ever smelling.  It's fabulous!

There are a lot of things you can do to prevent breast cancer ~ 

Eat food that is organic or at least, know the food that has the most chemicals in them and avoid them.

Drink as pure of water as you are able to afford.  We use reverse osmosis.

Clean with natural cleaners {vinegar, baking soda, etc.}

Avoid taking drugs.  They have chemicals with many side effects.

Stop using hand sanitizers and sunscreens.  {Wear hats instead and stay out of the noontime sun.}

Even if you avoided chemicals completely in your life, you still may get cancer because we live in a toxic environment but, at least, you have a much less chance of getting it.  Even the cancer society says to eat nine servings of fruits and vegetables a day. {I would add that most of these need to be raw since they are the ones that actually fight cancer with all their enzymes and health components.} Finally, always work on building a healthy immune system since our immune system is what fights off disease the best!

After saying all this, I want to remind you that ~

This is the day that the Lord hath made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Psalm 118:24

Don't live your life frightened about anything.  Just do the best you can and leave the rest in God's hands.  We are just strangers and pilgrims passing through!  This isn't our home.  But stay informed and educated.

My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. 

Hosea 4:6

Be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. 

Matthew 10:16

Honeymoon Baby

Emma, my son's daughter, was a honeymoon baby. Many people encouraged them to wait awhile after getting married to have a baby. 

They needed to adjust to being married, enjoy the time alone, travel, and just have fun. 

Babies are a lot of work, hard on marriage, and they will miss out if they have one too soon. 

Erin should finish her book and work awhile. 

Ryan needs to build up his business, etc. 

This is definitely what society tells young newlyweds today.  But what does God tell them ~

I will therefore that the younger women marry, 
bear children, guide the house... 

I Timothy 5:14

But women will be saved through childbearing, assuming 
they continue to live in faith, love, holiness, and modesty.

  I Timothy 2:15

Do you ever hear young newlyweds get that advice???  Yet this is what the Creator of the universe tells young women to do. Young women can't even say that this is all they want in life without being ashamed and embarrassed.

Emma has not hurt their marriage even one speck! Erin told me that their love just keeps getting deeper and deeper. Ryan was her hero during labor. They cuddle, hug, and kiss every chance they get. 

They love raising Emma together and watching her grow. They are incredible parents. They wouldn't trade her for anything...travel, more money, more time alone and fun....NOTHING! {Actually, they still travel and have lots of fun!}

God's ways are good, very, very good. Children are a blessing, a huge blessing when they are raised to be disciplined, obedient children.

Listen to God, not to what others and society tells you. He knows best.

Allow Him To Lead

When you are in step with the world, you are out of step with God.

God's ways are best.  He has proven this to me time and time again.  His Word clearly spells out the wife's and the husband's role.  The wife is a companion, a mother, and a homemaker.  A husband's role is a leader, a provider, and a protector.

The fourth secret in winning your husband's love according to The Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood is to allow him to be the leader. This is a position created by God for him.

In Genesis, God said to Eve,

"He {her husband} shall rule over you..."

and to Adam he said,

"By the sweat of your face you shall obtain your food, until you return to the ground from which you were taken."

Marriage is an institution created by God where the husband leads and the wife follows.  The man is the head, the ship's captain of the family.  The women are his first mate and the heart of the family.

Marriage is a complimentary partnership.  Each has a different role but each  person fills in the circle.  Your husband's God-given role is to lead you and provide for you.  This is God's ideal to aim for.

The more we women take over a man's role, the less masculine he feels and the more masculine we become. 

Many women work for more luxuries {cell phones, cable, eating out, vacations, bigger homes, more cars, etc.}.  Luxuries never bring the lasting happiness we think they will.  Only living God's laws bring us lasting happiness.

Happiness and true love are found in warm, affectionate relationships, not in houses or where you live.

Many husbands want their wives to work.  Show him Scripture that describes each spouse's role and then pray.  Truth is powerful and has a certain ring to it that is hard to deny!

Secret #1 ~ Accept him as he is
Secret #2 ~ Admire His Masculinity
Secret #3 ~ Make Him Number One

Candy Makes You Sick And Fat

Ken and I have a little game going on.  We have to tell each other our weight and keep each other accountable.  Neither of us want to get heavy as we get older.

Several Halloweens ago, bought two huge bags of candy for Halloween.  I have been having a fistful of Skittles the last few days.  My weight is creeping up and my throat hurts.  Even though it doesn't have many calories, it prevents weight loss.  Maybe the reason is because it is pure sugar and chemicals.  Your body can't use it and it suppresses your immune system. The key to good health is a strong immune system.

This other blog had a discussion on couponing.  I wrote a post Good Health God's Way for the discussion on how I use to coupon but quit because almost everything you can buy with coupons is junk food or chemicals to clean your home with.  I don't want either. I shared all my opinions on having good health and my frugal recipes instead.

There is an article called  America: A Big, Fat, Stupid Nation.  I love this quote ~

Your grandparents were raised in a generation aware that God's 
supermarket was better than man's.

It is interesting that most flus and colds begin after Halloween.  Too much candy is not good for the body. So wake up, America!  Start eating food the way God intended for us...

I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.

Genesis 1:29

P.S.  If you need something for your sweet tooth but want it to be full of good fats, satisfying, and nourishing, try these Healthy Peanut Butter Cups.  They are so yummy! Good fats {avocados, butter, olive oil, coconut oil, etc.} don't make you fat.  Sugar does.

Yep, He Adores Her!

Yes, I write about Alyssa and Jon a lot, but I have had many of you tell me how much you enjoy learning from my married children...

Alyssa believes Jon is such a great husband because he had an incredible example in his dad.  He also listens to Mark Driscoll a lot.  Mark is always encouraging men to stand up and be men.

Jon's mother, Lynette {I wrote a post about her awhile ago} is amazing.  She has that easy-going personality that everybody likes.  She never argues or demands her way.  She is easy to be married to.

Ken and I were discussing the men we know that say that as long as the husband loves the wife as he should, they will have a great marriage.  Every single man that has said that to us is married to a Lynette type.

Alyssa said Jon treats her so well.  He still is crazy about her.  The sparks are still flying.  When she is in a bad mood and stays in bed in the morning instead of fixing him breakfast, he comes and kisses her all over her face and tells her she's beautiful.

I told her she has earned his adoration.  If she nagged, manipulated, and tried to control Jon like many wives do, I am sure Jon would not be so crazy in love with her.  He doesn't mind her emotional ups and downs, because he knows that her heart is for him.  She wants to please him.

She fails at times, so do I.  However, our husbands know that we want to do them good, not evil {Proverbs 31:12} and be a crown to them {Proverbs 12:4}.  We are learning to accept them just the way they are and love them that way.

So in my experience of mentoring, the women who are golden retrievers {like Lynette} know how to do marriage right, right from the start.  The rest of us {like Alyssa and I} needed to learn how to do it right.  But guess what, we learned!

Everything is possible with God!

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Phillipians 4:13

Baby Christians

Many Christians are like my grandbaby, Emma.  Emma mostly drinks milk.  She cries when she doesn't get her way.  She screams if she is mad.  She really only cares about herself and her needs.  She isn't aware of right and wrong yet.

We are studying Hebrews in Bible Study.  I love this verse ~

For every one that uses milk is unskillful in the work of righteousness:  for he is a baby.  But strong meat belongs to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil. 

Hebrews 5:13,14

We need to know God's word!  Study it.  Meditate on it.  Know it.  It is protection for us, especially from false teachers.

Our Bible study teacher said that her husband was on a train and heard this man witnessing to this old lady.  The man said, "Jesus died on a cross to save thousands of sheep from being slaughtered.  That is why we must all be vegan!"  {Oh, wow!}

The old woman reached into her handbag, pulled out her Bible, and asked him, "Can you please show me where it says that in this book?" 

We must know God's Word so well that we will immediately know false teachings and be able to distinguish good from evil  There is a lot of evil out there.  As I have grown in the wisdom and the knowledge of God, I am much more aware of what pleases Him and what does not.

His ways are so good.  I encourage you to spend time with Him daily.  Read His Word.  It is life...abundant life!

Grow up into Him in all things.
Ephesians 4:15

Speak Truth To Your Children

I have written unto you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the wicked one.  

I John 2:14b

I sent this verse to my sons.  I want them to believe God's promises. The world tries to beat young men down. There are so many temptations everywhere but I want them to know what God says to them...They are strong...His word abides in them...They have overcome the wicked one. I want them to believe that wholeheartedly and walk in that truth.

If you are always told you are a sinner and that you will struggle, you will act like a sinner that always struggles. If you are told you are a saint and His power works through you mightily, you will act like a saint and allow His power to work through you.

Speak words of God's truth to your children. Keep reminding them of who they are in Christ. My sister made a long list to remind her children of these truths. She wants them to remember. {Print it out.  Read it to your children.  Tell them to believe who they are in Christ.  THAT builds true self-esteem.}

These are life-giving words. Words that bring joy, comfort, and security. These are very good words.

Make Him Number One

The third secret to winning your husband's love in The Secrets Of Fascinating Womanhood is to make him number one {after God, of course}.  Make him your king and you will become his queen!

After a long day at work, you need to ignore any grumpy remarks. Make allowances. Don't react.  Going home to an unsympathetic wife is the main reason a husband leaves his wife for another woman.

A man cannot help but deeply love a woman who treats him lovingly and comforts him when he is tired and discouraged after a long day.  When he's going through a hard time just sympathise with him, support him, and trust him.

This is taken word-for-word from a 1950s public high school home economics textbook explaining how to prepare for a husband's arrival from work ~

Have dinner ready.

Prepare yourself.

Clear away the clutter.

Prepare the children.

Minimize all noise.

Don't greet him with problems.

Don't complain if he is late for dinner.

Listen to him.

Make the evening his.

The goal:  Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

{Can you imagine that being in a high school textbook today?  Women would vomit...No wonder divorce is rampant today.}

The main reason men resist having more children is because they become very low on the totem pole once babies arrive.  This is what she writes ~

We should not follow the world and limit our families.  I believe the larger your family, the richer your life as life goes on.  {I LOVE this quote and think it is so true.  Our children have brought us so much joy in our lives.}

So keep that man number one even after your children arrive.  This is the greatest gift you can give your children...to be madly in love with their daddy!

Your wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of your house:  your children like olive plants round about your table. 

Psalm 128:3

Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord:  and the fruit of the womb is his reward. 

Psalm 127:3

Her children arise up and call her blessed;  her husband also, and he praises her. 

Proverbs 31:28

Secret Number One ~ Accept him just the way that he is.
Secret Number Two ~ Admire His Masculinity

Daddy, Love Your Daughters!

It doesn't matter what the studies show or the psychologists say, daughters need a dad.

As I was walking around the park, a young girl around 13 passed by me with a young boy.  She had tight, short shorts on, a tight low top, and lots of makeup and perfume.  Girls want so badly to attract boys. 

My mom, Alyssa, Cassi, and I went and saw the movie Courageous yesterday.  It was a great movie.  I highly recommend it.  It presents the Gospel clearly and encourages fathers to live up to the high calling that God has called them to.

If daughters are loved and protected by their fathers, they most likely won't go looking for male attention the wrong way. They will respect their bodies and will pursue purity.

Alyssa and Cassi have a dad who loves and protects them.  He works hard, is honest, and helps others.  Neither of them were {are} going to jump into bed with any guy until they had {have} a ring on their finger {Praise God!}. They were loved and trained to do it God's way.

Too many girls out there are willing to do anything to get the boys' attention...It is heartbreaking.  God has such a better plan for them.  Dads need to love on their daughters and teach them to walk in the ways of God.

Now to you mothers, you probably know what I am going to say...Keep that man home.  Accept him the way that he is, admire his masculinity, allow him to lead, and make him number one.  Women have lots of power in keeping their men home. 

Do it for your daughters.  Do it for your sons.  Do it for yourself.  But mainly, do it in obedience to God.  He is the one you want to please.  He is our rewarder.

Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers. 

Proverbs 17:6

Living In Sin

She was raised in the church.  She knows Truth.  She has walked away from living the Truth.  She lives with her boyfriend now.

Her grandmother loves Jesus.  She didn't like this boy her granddaughter was living with, so she treated him poorly.  She changed her mind recently.  She decided to be kind and loving to him.  He's responded and loves her now.  They hug each time they see each other and have fun together.  She loves him now.

What way do you think is most likely to win him to the Lord?  Being upset with him that he is living in sin with her granddaughter and treating him poorly or loving on him?

We don't win others to Jesus by being mean.  Actually, we aren't suppose to be mean to anyone.  The only people Jesus was angry with were the religious leaders who gave everyone "their" set of rules and expected others to live by them, even when they did not.

Jesus came to save the lost.  He did it by loving and serving them.  We are called to do the same.

We are called to even love our enemies...So, go love those around you ~

the rebellious teenagers

the homosexual neighbors

the woman who gossips about everyone

the irritable husband

the acquaintance in prison

You get the idea.  Even love the unlovable.  Everyone needs to be loved.  People are won by sugar, not by vinegar!  You don't win anyone by being angry and upset with them {including your husbands!}.

Beloved, let us love one another:  for love is of God, and every one that loves is born of God, and knows God. 
I John 4:7

Admire His Masculinity

The second secret to having a husband that adores you is to admire his masculine qualities.  I have to admit that I am not very good at this but it is never too late to change. {I write this blog for me as much as I do for you.}

A husband's greatest need is to be admired.  In Genesis 3:16, God told Eve that "he {the husband} shall rule over you."  A man wants to be the leader.  God designed him that way.  This is why women are to be in submission and the man is the head of the home.

This is a good thing.  This strong, God-given pride is what drives men to want to lead, and to protect, and to provide for women.  When we try to manipulate and control them, they erect an invisible wall around themselves to protect themselves.

On Page 48 of The Secrets Of Fascinating Womanhood, she gives a list of ways women hurt men and their pride.  Some of them are ~

Sharp or angry tone

Compare him to other men

Criticize his weaknesses

Pouring cold water on his ideas

Giving him advice when not asked

Reminding him how you struggle on his income

Not praising him when he does something well

Only long term acceptance and admiration will restore him to normal.  So praise and admire him...his muscles, his strength, how hard he works, what a good provider he is, etc.

I use to think if I praised Ken, he would get a big head.  I thought his ego was big enough already.  But I was the person he wanted praise from the most.  The world beats our husbands down.  Just by accepting him as he is has gone a long way to building up his ego and happiness!

Finally, learn to be sincere as you build him up with words.  He will know when you don't mean what you are saying.

Let the wife see that she respects her husband. 

Ephesians 5:33

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 

I Thessalonians 5:11

Secret Number One ~ Accept him just the way that he is.

Mothers Who Worry

A doubting, worrying mother is not being a good mother.  She's modeling fear, not faith;  and she'll produce worrying, anxious kids who have no idea that ~

"God is our refuge and strength, and an ever present help in trouble"
Psalm 46:1. 

Do you want an atmosphere of well-being, peace at heart, confidence and fun? 

Do you want a lot of laughter at your house? 

And doesn't it seem as if that's really the way a good Christian home ought to be? God never intends your house to be fearful.  There are 365 "fear nots" in the Bible.

Studies have shown that the home is by far the greatest influence on children. Teach your children to go into the world strongly, as a confident minority, with their heads up. 

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of love and of self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7 

Tell your children over and over that One walks with them through all this world's judgment fires, and that this one who is in them is greater than the one who is in the world. I John 4:4 

Let your children know that sin is getting worse, but goodness is getting better. 

Celebrate righteousness! 

Celebrate God, who will win! 

Let your kids know that as Christians they're victors! 

Your trust in God will color everything. 

Then as you guide your family through all the traumas, calmly trust Him.  Keep daily nourished in Scripture and prayer, and calmly trust Him.  Fix your eyes on Jesus, and calmly trust Him.   So give up control and let God lead.

*The majority of this post was taken from Disciplines of the Home by Anne Ortlund

Women Hold The Key

This is true.  Women hold the key to happiness in marriage.  Even the Bible agrees with this statement ~

A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. 

Proverbs 14:1

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives. 

I Peter 3:1

I woke up early today and started reading  The Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood.  It teaches the secrets of winning your husband.  It is very good.  I recommend it highly. 

Ten secrets are given for winning the love of your husband.  I thought I would take all ten and write a post about each one.

Here are some of the quotes that introduce the secrets ~

Lay aside self-righteousness and feminine pride...Many modern ideas that sound good in theory {like feminism}, don't work in practice.

Change yourself and you can have a great marriage.  I stand by that statement with my life. {I can stand by this statement also.  I have seen it with every single woman that I have mentored as long as she has a teachable spirit.}

Love is awakened in a man by wholesome, feminine qualities, such as sympathy, purity, cheerfulness, trust, and dependence.

The first secret she gives is ~

Accept him as he is.  Look to his good side.  This is a husband's second most important need.  When you try to change him, he becomes resentful and cool and withdraws much of his love.  The only way he will change is if you accept him just the way that he is.

He knows his own faults.  The more a man loves you, the more he will want to please you.  We must accept them fully {even all their faults and bad habits} and forgive them fully for all their past mistakes.

So this is your first assignment, women!  Try this...It really does work.  Remember that you are far from perfect and you want others to accept you just the way that you are...

Pleasing God

To love God and to please Him is worth everything, everything.  Your sexual immortality must go, your evil desires and greed must go, your anger must go, your malice must go, your slander must go.  All of them must go - forever!  Be ruthless.  Whatever the sins are that right now make you feel guilty and uneasy - hate them!  Get them once and for all out of your life. 

Anne Ortlund

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ lives in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. 

Galatians 2:20

For he that is dead is freed from sin. 

Romans 6:7

I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. 

Philippians 4:13

Believe God's Word.  You CAN do it!  His Spirit works powerfully in you.  He wants those around you to see Him in you.  He commands for us to walk blamelessly.  He never commands something that He doesn't give us the power to accomplish.  Go now... Be lights to a dark world!  Flee the darkness and live in the Light!

The Red Rose

She went to her car this morning and there on her car was a red rose and a love letter from her husband.

Just three weeks ago, I started mentoring her. I just wrote Stepford Wives about her. This is a second marriage for both of them. God told her to marry him over four years ago.

The first time I met to mentor her, I asked her to name his good qualities. She couldn't think of many. She said that if she divorced him, she would never marry again. {In other words, she was thinking about divorce.}

There weren't any sparks in their marriage. They knew they were suppose to stay together because they were Christians. He was a bit afraid of long-term commitments. I didn't sense much commitment from either of them.

We meet once a week. We read a chapter a week of Debi's book. She hated Chapter Two.  She threw the book down...Yuck! It is about trying to win back a husband that is cheating on  you. That night she watched a movie ~ The Grass Is Greener. Cary Grant is the star in it.

His wife was cheating on him. He was a religious man in the movie. He read his Bible a lot.  He was very angry at first, but by the end of the movie, he won his wife back to him "without a word."

God used a movie to speak to her. God's Word is true! He proves Himself over and over again if you listen.

She started applying the principles to her marriage...being joyful, asking how she can please him, and trying to be the wife God has called her to be.

It's working...She let me read the love letter he wrote to her expressing his love and commitment to her. I cried. She had tears in her eyes.   think I sense sparks in their relationship. She's starting to really love her husband.

Another testimony to God's ways. As a friend just emailed me, she hated Debi's book at first.  She started implementing 10% of it. Her husband knew something was different and he liked it. She now likes the book.She calls her husband her best friend. 

I love seeing God work miracles in marriages when women start obeying God.

I found him whom my soul loves:
I held him, and would not let him go. 

Song of Solomon 3:4

Stepford Wives

Her husband is afraid if she does what Debi Pearl teaches, she will become a Stepford Wife {the kind that is a perfect wife with no emotion or feelings}.

She worries that if she does what Debi Pearl teaches, it may not be genuine.

No worries...she will never be perfect!  She will blow it occasionally...a lot at first probably, but as she practices loving, serving, and pleasing her husband, it will get easier.  It is retraining yourself and your habits. 

She will be renewing her mind with God's truth.  She will still have her personality and opinions.  She just won't have to always be right and she will stop arguing with him.  How can a husband not love a wife that wants to please him and serve him?  He probably has never experienced that, so it may scare him.  I am sure he will change his mind as he falls madly in love with his wife.

On the matter of her actions being genuine, I don't think she needs to concern herself with that.  If we always acted upon our feelings, we would be a mess.  Our actions need to dictate our feelings, not our feelings dictating our actions.  Continue doing what is right and most likely feelings will follow.

She has a teachable spirit.  She is ready to do it right.  She is open to learn.  I predict she will have a great marriage someday.  A teachable spirit that wants to obey God is a powerful tool God can use to accomplish His will.

May God bless her abundantly as she learns to love, please, and serve her husband.

And the Lord make you to increase and abound in love one toward another...

I Thessalonians 3:12

Finding Godly Girlfriends

We were just getting ready to pray and she exclaimed, "I need to go outside for some fresh air.  My heart has been hurting and the pain is traveling down my arm."  We all looked at each other...Should we take her to the ER, pray for her, or go out to her and make sure she is okay?

We all got up and went outside.  She said she was feeling a little better.  She had a doctor's appointment at 1:00.  We all gathered around her, laid our hands on her, and started praying.

Another woman said in tears that her brother had left and may commit suicide.  We laid hands on her, wept, and prayed.  Another one has Hepatitis C and her liver may be failing.  We laid hands on her, wept, and prayed. 

Another woman's daughter-in-law was just admitted to the psychiatric ward and my dad was near death this past week.  Prayers were offered for them...Girlfriends...Life would be empty without them.

A friend emailed me this week and said one of her friends was offended by something she said and instead of going to her, she told all her other friends.  Now they won't talk to her and she is aching inside.

Gossip, back-biting, rumors, and unforgiveness should have no place in the friendship between godly women.  If someone has hurt you with words, go to them.  Tell them and allow healing in the relationship.  The last thing you should do is share it with others and hurt the relationship even more.

If you need godly girlfriends, pray and then join a Bible study at church.  Get involved in small groups.  Seek them out.  God is faithful.  He will provide you with godly girlfriends to encourage and strengthen your walk with Him!

A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret. 

Proverbs 11:13

A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much. 

Proverbs 20:19

If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!  

Ecclesiastes 4:10

Foundation Of A Healthy Society

No, it is not capitalism or socialism.  It is not having a conservative or liberal president.  It is not having a roaring economy with a lot of jobs.  It is having strong, healthy families.  "Marriage is the incubator of children, a healthy cultivation of the next generation." {Dr. David Jeremiah}

Marriage is in sorry shape in our society ~  

In 1960, 68% of those in their 20's were married. 

In 2008, only 52% were married. 

In 1990, 3.2 million couples lived together without being married. 

In 2010, 7.5 million live together. 

In 1969, 68% of Americans believed premarital sex was wrong. 

In 2009, 40% believe it is wrong.

Satan knows all this.  He knows that as marriages falter, so goes the stability of society.  That is why he is so busy trying to destroy the institution of marriage as created by God, our Creator.

While we need to vote for good leaders, we need to be much more concerned with strong, healthy marriages.  They will make a much bigger impact on the stability of our nation than any political party or leader can...

I have been studying I Timothy 5 lately.  I have been pondering the role of women that Timothy describes ~

verse 10 ~ Well reported of for good works; if she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints' feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed every good work.

verse 14 ~ I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

I know lots of men want their wives to work.  I don't see anything in the above verses that encourages women to spend many hours every day outside of the home. When they do work full-time, they come home exhausted and have to take care of the home and children. 

Since they only have 10% of the testosterone that men have, they don't have the energy to work full-time, care for the home, children, and husbands.  The results...Marriages suffer, then families suffer, and ultimately, society suffers.

Husbands need to be a priority in marriage.  If marriages are healthy, families are healthy, as a result, societies will be healthy.  So if you are going to fight for anything, fight for your marriage where it all begins.

Are There Gray Areas?

My posts on drinking alcohol and Halloween brought up some interesting thoughts to me.  One woman commented that what is wrong for one Christian to do is wrong for all other Christians.  In other words, there are no gray areas, just black and white, right and wrong.  I disagree.  I think there are some gray areas ~

I am of the opinion that if my precious little grandbaby dresses up as Tinkerbell and trick-or-treats at a few houses in her neighborhood, she is not sinning.

If my husband and I want to have an occasional glass of wine with dinner, we are not sinning.

If I am convicted about homeschooling my children and my sisters send their children to public school, they are not sinning.

Some women feel convicted to only wear dresses.  I respect their conviction, but I am not sinning if I wear pants.

Birth control is a gray area.  One woman I know has several beautiful children but has been told it could kill her to have more children.  It is not a sin if they decide not to have any more children to potentially save her life.

Some are convicted that watching movies and television are not right for them.  However, it is not sin for me to watch Chargers play football or Little House On The Prairie.

These are just a few gray areas I could think of but I know there are many more.

Galatians 6:19-21 make it very clear what walking in the flesh{sin} looks like ~

Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these;  adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness {inclined to lustfulness}, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance {being inconsistent}, emulations {wanting to be better than others}, wrath, strife, seditions {discontent or rebellion}, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like...

Sin is clearly spelled out in these verses.  These are definitely to be avoided if you are a believer and want to walk in holiness.  The other things I mentioned above are not clearly spelled out in Scripture and must be left to each believer's conviction.

Walking in the Spirit produces ~

love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance...Galatians 6:22,23

These virtues are what we must focus upon and grant to all those around us, even those who disagree with us in some interpretations of Scripture.  Above all, the Lord wants us to be at peace with all men, not arguing about own personal convictions. {I am absolutely fine if you disagree with me and share it in the comments section as long as you do it in a loving, nonjudgmental way.}

If it be possible, as much as it depends upon you, live peaceably with all men. 
Romans 12:18

P.S. My husband wrote a letter responding to a woman who was commenting in a forceful way because of my opinions on alcohol, Halloween, and gays.  I have published this letter in the comment section if you are interested.

Adapting To Him

Alyssa has adapted to Jon ~

She likes to go to bed late.  He likes to go to bed early since he wakes up early to go to work.  She goes to bed early now.  Sure, she'll read in bed or play with her iPhone, but she is in bed with him.

She could care less about football.  They have been coming down on Sundays to walk the beach with us, go to Kis for breakfast, and watch football.  {Alyssa cleans out her old room, reads, or plays with her iPhone while we watch football.}  Steven told Jon he could get football off of the computer, because they don't have cable.  Jon looked at Alyssa and said, "Babes, we can watch football at home now."  She enthusiastically responded, "Great!" 

She loves a simple big salad for dinner.  Jon likes ribs and steaks.  She eats ribs and steak for dinner now.  {He does eat a big salad for lunch. ;)}

She loves being in shape so she takes these exercise classes that have really helped strengthen her back and neck.  They are expensive.  I asked her if she takes them often.  She told me only if Jon says she can take them.  He said, "Which is whenever she wants to take them."

For their anniversary, they went on a long hike up in the mountains.  It was a very hot day and very tiring.  He loves to hike.  She loves to hike now also!

We were having a family party a few weeks ago and I asked her to come down.  She said Jon didn't want her to because he wanted her with him.  He works hard all day and loves to have her home at night with him.  She loves being home with him.

She has adapted her life to his.  They are both very happy.  They love pleasing each other.

I know a lot of women aren't going to like the following verse, but it is good, so good!  Look at it this way, men NEED women!

Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. 

I Corinthians 11:9

Be Anxious For Nothing

Do not be anxious about anything.  Philippians 4:6

Quite a few Christians live in a terrible state of anxiety, constantly fretting over the concerns of life.  The secret of living in perfect peace amid the hectic pace of daily life is one well worth knowing. 

What good has worrying ever accomplished?  It has never made anyone stronger, helped anyone do God's will or provided for anyone a way of escape out of their anxiety or confusion.  Worry only destroys the effectiveness of lives that would otherwise be useful and beautiful. 

Being restless and having worries and cares are absolutely forbidden by our Lord, who said. "So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'" {Matt. 6:31}. 

He does not mean that we are not to think ahead or that our life should never have a plan or pattern to it.  He simply means that we are not to worry about these things.

People will know that you live in a constant state of anxiety by the lines on your face, the tone of your voice, your negative attitude, and the lack of joy in your spirit.

So scale the heights of a life abandoned to God, and your perspective will change to the point that you will look down on the clouds beneath your feet.  Darlow Sargeant

It is a sign of weakness to always worry and fret, question everything, and mistrust everyone.  Can anything be gained by it? 

Don't we only make ourselves unfit for action and separate our minds from the ability to make wise decisions?  We simply sink in our struggles when we could float by faith.

Oh, for the grace to be silent!  Oh, to "be still, and know that He is God" {Ps. 46:10}!  "The Holy One of Israel" {Ps. 89:18} will defend and deliver His own. 

We can be sure that His every word will stand forever, even though the mountains may fall into the sea.  He deserves our total confidence. 

So come, my soul, return to your place of peace, and rest within the sweet embrace of the Lord Jesus.

Streams In The Desert