Friday, December 26, 2014

Get the Beam Out of Your Eye!

There are many women who write me who are very upset with their husbands and even want out of their marriage. The past ten years since I have been mentoring women, it always begins with them telling me how rotten their husbands are to them. Recently, a young woman wanted to be mentored by me through email. She was even willing to pay me! 
{No, I never accept money.}

She told me that her husband was so mean that she wanted out. 
She has small children. I wrote her a list of these questions ~

Do you really respect him as your leader and authority? 

Do you try to fight him? 

Is he allowed to correct you without you getting upset? 

Are you warm and loving to him?

Do you prepare meals he likes, keep the home like he likes it, 
and try to please him? 

Do you smile at him often?

Are you in the Word daily, feasting upon His Word? 

Are you filling your mind with only good things or things of this world?

Some of them she was good at but the truly important ones like not arguing with him, getting upset when he corrected her, smiling at him, being in the Word and filling her mind with only good things, she wasn't so good. After honestly responding to these questions, she ended with this comment, "After answering these questions, I can kind of see where my own weaknesses are."

We are good at trying to pick the mote out of our brother's eye without seeing the beam in our own. Am I perfect at fulfilling these questions? NO, but I no longer try to get the mote out of Ken's eye, because I am too busy getting the beam out of my eye!

We can only anticipate God's blessings and help when we first put the responsibility of changing our marriage on our self. God's principle of "you reap what you sow" is alive and well even in our marriages. So let's model for our husbands all the things we want in return from them, especially obedience to God's Word as opposed to being judge and jury towards them. Trust me on this, you will be much happier when you focus on what you need to improve on in yourself, instead of looking at your husband's weaknesses. Instead, focus on his strengths and respect him for them.

Therefore, women, if you'd like me or anyone else to mentor you because you have a difficult husband, ask yourself these questions first. Then, when you come to me for counsel, you will be WAY ahead of the game!

Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; 
and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote 
out of thy brother's eye.
Matthew 7:5