Wednesday, December 10, 2014

What is Your Parenting Style?

What type of parent are you? Are you a Tiger parent who sets strict rules with high expectations? How about a Helicopter parent that hovers over all aspects of a child's life? What about a Snowplow parent who tries to remove every obstacle that gets in their child's way? Or are you a No Rescue parent who has decided there will be no more rescues; if they forget something, you won't rescue them? The No Rescue parent is the opposite of the Helicopter parent according to this article

Ken and I would be considered Tiger parents. {It's kind of ironic because on personality tests, we both test as Lions!} We had very strict rules with our children and set high expectations for them. No, we didn't hover every aspect of their lives, constantly chasing them and monitoring every move. I have been with parents like this and it is exhausting just to watch. We taught our children at a young age what they could and couldn't touch. We didn't have to chase them around as toddlers to make sure they didn't touch something they shouldn't. We would simply say "No" and they clearly knew what "No" meant.

We also never chaperoned their dates, listened in on their phone calls, or read their journals when they got older. We taught them from a young age characteristics that we thought were biblical like honesty, purity, integrity, and hard work. We were constantly teaching and training them when they were growing up but we certainly didn't chase them around and watch their every move.

We also weren't Snowplow parents. They all had tough teachers and coaches. We didn't try to shield them from every challenge and make life easy for them. For one thing, they grew up with a sick mother. They knew life was far from perfect and that hard times would come. They even hurt themselves at times by falling off of their bikes, monkey bars, and swings. Pain is a part of life and to try to shield your children from all pain is foolish in my opinion since they will experience pain sometime in their life and probably many times.

We would rescue our children on the very rare occasion that they forgot something important at home that they needed. It was so rare that it was never an issue for us. If you teach your children to be responsible from a young age, they most likely will grow up to be responsible. If a child of ours did always forget something, no, we would not have rescued them every time. We would make them learn to not forget things by having them suffer the consequences of forgetting. We certainly can't allow ourselves to be at our children's every beck and call. We are raising little adults and want them to grow up to be healthy, well-balanced adults.

I believe God fits the profile of a Tiger Father. He has strict rules for His children and has high expectations especially since He has given us His Holy Spirit to live inside of us. He commands that we walk in the Spirit and not the flesh. He commands we love Him and love others, treating others better than ourselves. He commands we overcome evil with good and love our enemies. Yes, He has high expectations for us BUT He gives us everything we need for life and godliness. He didn't leave us as orphans but thoroughly equips us. Therefore, we need to, as parents, preach the Gospel to our children continually so they will be well-equipped for this battle called life. God needs mighty warriors for His kingdom!

And one of the elders said to me,
 "Stop weeping; behold, the Lion that is from the tribe of Judah, 
the Root of David, has overcome so as to
 open the book and its seven seals.
Revelation 5:5