So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
{John 8:7}
Women who have husbands that are caught in pornography are sometimes asked to separate from them. I think this is the wrong advice. The Bible says that if wives have husbands that are disobedient to the Word, the wives will win their husbands without a word as they watch their wives live godly lives. {I Peter 3:1} It also tells us that a believing wife is not suppose to leave her husband.
{I Corinthians 7:13}
{I Corinthians 7:13}
I always wonder what sins the wife is committing ~
Is she nagging, manipulating, or trying to change him?
Is she negative and critical towards him?
Does she show him disrespect by rolling her eyes, correcting him, and arguing with him?
If she isn't doing any of these things, but instead is loving, serving, pleasing, easily forgiving, and respecting him, then maybe she can sit in judgement of him. She must be very careful, however, to not judge his sin so much worse than hers and feel self-righteous about it.
If you have a husband caught in pornography, hopefully he will confess it, pray about it, and want to be held accountable. If not, you pray for him and love him anyways. No, it is not easy but it is God's ways and His ways work a lot better than our ways.
Men who are trapped in pornography are in a trap, a deadly trap. They hate it and what it does to them. They are in a pit and God can use you to help him climb out of that pit. Godly wives sanctify their husbands. {I Corinthians 7:14} As you live Jesus in front of them, they will be convicted of their sin and may even be released from it.
Megan 36p · 682 weeks ago
Holly · 682 weeks ago
marcia · 682 weeks ago
Bethany · 682 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 682 weeks ago
Bethany · 682 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 682 weeks ago
Tiffany · 682 weeks ago
Danielle · 682 weeks ago
*megan_elzey* · 682 weeks ago
Even though the Bible does say that adultery is the one reason why a husband and wife could divorce, I still didn't believe that it was what God wanted for us.
Lori Alexander 122p · 682 weeks ago
Brit · 682 weeks ago
Even though he didn't do this while I was married to him, it was still a struggle with us for a while. I suddenly had these insecurities I had to overcome because of my husband's past sins. He is so passionate about keeping young boys pure, and I'm so thankful that he is the father of my boy (and boy is my belly and any future boys :)). It still pains me to think about it, but I am far from perfect or blameless either. I had to realize that I too have sinned before I could fully overcome my insecurities. (and a side note.. our sex life improved too once I dealt with MY issue!)
Lori Alexander 122p · 682 weeks ago
Tiffany · 682 weeks ago
Also - Many people who commit violent crimes against women and children admit to participating in pornography earlier on. It is such a serious thing. Pornography seems to be a gateway to hurting people because they are learning to objectify another human being. If you don't see someone as human, eventually hurting them doesn't even prick your conscience.
I'm not saying women should divorce or separate from their husbands who look at pornography. However, pornography is an addiction often more powerful than any drug and needs to be taken just as seriously. If his addiction gets out of hand and more serious, even a wife's example may not be enough.
I'm T · 682 weeks ago
Frankly, pornography is powerful. It serves as an advertisement for the way some viewers think sex "should" be. Violent, objectifying of a woman (or a man- but most pornography is geared towards men), and devoid of emotion and intimacy. Viewers get such a pleasurable reaction to it that they think their own sex lives should emulate what they see on screen.
I'm a social worker- and I work with women who have survived abuse. When learning their stories, I hear porn mentioned in some way in almost every single case. I admit that I (like your husband) have seen the scariest and most extreme results of pornography, but I believe it really does affect every relationship that it touches even if it's not as extreme.
AMY · 682 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 682 weeks ago
tbg · 682 weeks ago
The problem I have with your post is in poor reasoning. They are completely unrelated. Most men with pornography problems came into marriage with the problem. Sadly, pornography problems usually have origins in a childhood event. So the pornography problem has nothing to do with anything the wife may be doing wrong. And the wife can repent and do everything right and it won't help her husband break the habit one bit.
Also nagging, maniuplating, and controlling can be changed by having a repentant heart and choosing to value others more than self and value the good in your husband. A man hooked on pornography can be completely brokenhearted over it and very much value his wife but he will still have the fight of this life to break free because pornography actually changes the way your brain responds to situations from stress, to anything else. It really messes you up.
The other problem is that if a man is unrepentant about the porn use it is absolutely appropriate for the wife to establish boundaries until his behavior changes. I would also say if a wife is disrespectful and acting out, a man can establish boundaries.
Lori Alexander 122p · 682 weeks ago
char72 44p · 682 weeks ago
Blessings,
Charlotte
pamela · 682 weeks ago