Friday, July 19, 2013

Dating With A Purpose

The Duggar daughters were interviewed on their show and asked about dating. They said their parents taught them to date with a purpose, the purpose being marriage. This is pretty much what we taught our children.

The dating that is done today is silly. It is simply a means to satisfy one's own desires at a young age. Two young people get emotionally involved which usually leads to physical involvement with no thought of the future or marriage.

Heartbreak and games ensue along with loss of purity and pleasing the Lord. We encouraged our children to do things in groups in high school. Be friends with members of the opposite sex and use that time to figure out what qualities they wanted in a future spouse.

As they got older, they started dating with the purpose of figuring out if that person was "the one."  They didn't simply just try someone out for fun, playing with their feelings, and leaving a trail of heartbreak. When I think back of my high school dating years, nothing much good came out of them even though I was fairly strict in my principles of conduct.

I dated because it was fun and everyone else was doing it. Whether you break someone else's heart or they break yours, it is no fun. Sure, even when you get older, you may find one you think is "the one" and get your heart broken. We can not escape broken hearts entirely but the older and more mature you are when you begin dating, the less chance you have of breaking hearts or having your heart broken.

When my children were in a position to marry, they usually date someone several times and know quite quickly if they are not "the one" and move on. Watching your grown up, mature, and godly children find their spouse and fall in love is a wonderful thing.  Both of my married children knew quite quickly that they had found the one.

They sought God eagerly for the spouse He had chosen for them. If He can save our soul from death, He can certainly chose your spouse if you ask Him to and they all wanted Him to chose their spouse. He does a much better job than we can possibly ever do.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,

    and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5,6