Monday, October 7, 2013

Is Your Husband Afraid of You?

Christian men today often fear their wives' reaction to their leadership more than they fear disobeying God. {Virgina Fugate}

Wives are very good at using their emotions and moods to manipulate and punish their husbands.  I know of a number of women who are holding deep seated and long standing issues against their husbands. Their husbands have apologized to them numerous times over the decade since the infraction(s), yet their wives still go into a multitude of facial contortions and snide remarks every time their husbands do anything they think is wrong instead of forgiving them as Christ commands.

Some of these wives are even in leadership positions at their church. Somehow they can reconcile teaching God’s love and complete grace for salvation for everyone but to their own husbands. They cannot see that the time for punishment and humiliation should be long gone, if ever displayed by a child of God.

Too many women today wear the pants in their homes believing they are much better leaders than their husbands.  They decide how the marriage is going to be run, when they will have sex, how to raise the children, etc.   Many men, therefore, walk on eggshells at home trying to not upset their wives, or incur their negativity.

We can be so good at manipulating, nagging, and controlling which are all behaviors completely contrary to God’s Word and unbecoming a godly woman. It is not our job to control our husbands or punish them.  Our job is to please and serve them, and to show them the love, forgiveness, and grace of the Spirit who lives inside of us, so that they can become all that God wants them to be.

So, let me ask you, is your husband afraid of you?  Is he free to make requests of you and share his likes and dislikes concerning sex, food, the way you dress, the way you keep house, etc.?  Maybe you should ask him in such a way that he will be willing to give you an honest answer.  He should never have to live in fear of his wife, her moods, scowls, or dripping disappointment.

For how can he lead us and love us if we are unteachable or unlovable?

For the husband is the head of the wife 
even as Christ is the head of the church, 
his body, and is himself its Savior.
Ephesians 5:23