Monday, October 21, 2013

Have Christians Destroyed Traditional Marriage?


According to Dave Daubenmire Christians are responsible for destroying traditional marriage ~

From the day the church began to teach that sex was for recreation rather than for reproduction marriage was doomed. Birth-control paved the way to the bedroom as a playground. The church fights gay marriage while it winks and nods at fornication in all of its heterosexual forms. Christians’ selfishness destroyed marriage.

Not one good thing has come from birth control being introduced to this country.  It has made it easier than ever to have promiscuous sex.  It has allowed married couples to not want children.  It has allowed children to be a throw away product, namely abortion.  Men can get sex for free without commitment. We, not God, are in control of our sex lives now.

Christians are divorcing at the same rate as unbelievers.  We have made a mockery of marriage.  Most don't take it seriously.  If a spouse isn't happy, they get out.

If the Christian community really were Christ followers, walking in obedience to Christ, we would have made a much bigger impact upon society.  For one thing, we would have a lot more children who were raised in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord walking around being salt and light.

For another, we wouldn't get divorce.  It would not even be named among us.  Our marriages would be strong, solid marriages reflecting the image of Christ and His church.  We would be setting an example to those around us how glorious marriage truly can be.

Peace and love would pervade our homes and outsiders would be drawn to what we have and ask us where our hope was from.  They would see marriages really could last forever.  People could grow old together happily.

I am sure you know what I think is the main problem...older women have neglected their role in training the younger women how to love and obey their husbands, be keepers at home, etc.  The church dropped the ball on this one and listened to the lies of feminism instead by following the world's example instead of the Bible's commands.

If all the older women would step up to the plate and teach the younger women the amazing value God puts on wives and mothers and that their place in the home has infinite value, the younger women would be content being wives and having children and men would want to stay married.

Let us go back to doing things the way God commands us to and at least get the Christian community back on the right track starting with us.  Are you up for the challenge?

Marriage is to be held in honor among all, 
and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; 
for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
Hebrews 13:4

Comments (37)

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Lori, I just can't believe sometimes how right on you are about all that you share. I guess it's really that I can't believe there are others who see it this way also.
I have to admit lately I've considered deleting your site from my facebook. Let me explain.
As you know lately some of what you share has been agressively attacked. I would choose to follow it, after commenting, and would wind up getting quite upset over the way some handled themselves. I didn't like the stress it put me under, and I especially didn't like what I feared it may be doing to you.
I will admit that when I first started following you my conscience was pricked at times. I think I may have even commented with some defensiveness to ease my mind. I hope not in an attacking way though.
The more I've followed and read what you share the more I believe God is doing a great work in and through you. Your understanding of scripture and what God's lessons are through it I find to be right on.
Today's writing is another one of those that may bring on some heated comments. I for one believe you have hit the nail on the head again.
I will continue to follow you and your writing because it does feel good to know there is someone, such as yourself, who has the guts to stand up and proclaim the message without fear of being shot down. I don't do it as much with written word, but I to, am trying to stand up for what is good and morally right. Sinner that I am.
Just one from your cheering section, supporting you in prayer.
1 reply · active 596 weeks ago
Good post! Hope you are feeling well:)
-blessings
1 reply · active 596 weeks ago
Kellsbells123's avatar

Kellsbells123 · 596 weeks ago

Sorry but I have to disagree a lot of good has come from birth control. If you want to reduce the number of abortions then birth control is the best way. It is dangerous for women to have one pregnacy after another and before birth control women either refused to have sex with their husbands ( which you teach is wrong ) or died, birth control has also helped women with uterine issues, skin problems, hormonal problems etc. Birth control has been the greatest thing to happen for women's health ever. Just look at how much the maternal death rate has fallen since birth control became available, or even the infant mortality rate. To go back to that would be the biggest sin.
7 replies · active 596 weeks ago
I agree with a lot of what u are saying, and we do not believe in birth control because the abortifacient part of the pill. However, my husband and I are now confused on what to do. We now have 4 children 3 1/2 and to 7 weeks. I obviously ovulate when I'm nursing. We are very much open to many more children, but we both would really like a little age gap before number five. We are open to condoms, but no matter what we try its very painful for me. Tis has effected our sex lives because we both really, really don't want to get pregnant again until my husband gets a better paying job so we can live on our own again. Anyways, it's stressful to say the least. I do believe God created sex for more than procreation as shown in song of solomon.
5 replies · active 596 weeks ago
I don't understand why it is so wrong to plan a family! The Bible tells us to count the cost when starting something and not to go blindly into it! There are so many people out there that didn't give their family any thought and their children go without; live from one day to the next not having enough money for food, clothes or shelter!
Is that wisdom?
Jilly oxoxo
3 replies · active 596 weeks ago
Lori,
I love what Kathy at the top had to say! Keep up the great words of truth and exhortation.
The Lord will water the seeds that get planted. I will be covering you with prayer for peace, strength, wisdom to answer questions, and for protection, and I will be more diligent to pray for those who visit this wonderful blog. May the harvest be great!
Love and blessings, sister!
Jacqueline
1 reply · active 596 weeks ago
To go along with the birth control debate, I just thought I would chime in and say that my husband and I do not use birth control but we do practice the withdrawal method. Every time we have tried to have a baby we got pregnant instantly so he is afraid of letting his swimmers even attempt their journey. ;) It has worked well with us and in 9 years we have had 4 planned pregnancies, no "oops" babies yet. And we have a very healthy sex life. ;) I would prefer to leave it fully in God's hands but my husband isn't really on board with that. I'm just thankful that he is okay with not using BC or doing anything permanent.

And Lori, I agree with you that most older women have dropped the ball. I know a lot of lovely older women but none of them that I really feel I can go to with deep questions or for solid biblical advice. When I am at a loss I reach out through the internet to women such as yourself, you've been a great help to me a few times and I am thankful that you put yourself out there for people you will likely never meet on this Earth! I pray that someday I can be as wise and helpful with young ladies as you are. :)
Not one good thing has come about with birth control? What about condoms and their role in preventing the spread of HIV and other STIs?

Maybe not one good thing has come the acceptance of birth control in Christian churches and circles.
1 reply · active 596 weeks ago
Interesting comments. I agree that natural family planning is best. God knows what is best for us and we all need to pray and get Him more involved - especially in something as important as having children. My gyn doctor told me that women who use birth control have a higher incidence of ovarian cancer because, in her words, our reproductive organs were made to be used, not artificially shut down. The hormones, chemicals and devices that women put into their bodies in the name of preventing pregnancy are in no way good. Thanks for this timely post.
1 reply · active 596 weeks ago
When my daughter attended a Jesuit University, she shared what she was learning about Humanae Vitae (the Pope's teaching on human sexuality). We had discussions about birth control. The good news is that there are some winds (well, maybe a light breeze) of change among young people. One of my daughter's friends posted this link on Facebook. http://www.businessinsider.com/time-to-admit-it-t...
1 reply · active 596 weeks ago
I'm wondering what your thoughts are on balancing competing priorities.

Recently, you've written about early marriage, having wives stay home, making husbands and marriage a priority, healthy eating and now you are writing about not using birth control.

What happens if it's not possible to do all of those things at the same time? For example, I related to what you wrote about getting married while the husband is a medical student, because that was my situation, but it meant that I had to work because he had tuition to pay and no income. If having a mom at home is a priority, then might birth control be necessary until an early-marrying couple get on their feet enough to survive on one income? I'm not talking about a luxurious lifestyle - just enough to be self-supporting and make sure that basic needs are met. In some cases, might the needs of the existing children come before having more children? My sister, for example, has a son with autism. She and her husband are tremendously dedicated parents, going to countless school meetings, therapy appointments, cooking everything from scratch to follow a diet recommended by their naturopath, working with him at home, etc. They have cut down their working hours in order to be there for the kids. They live frugally (paid down mortgage on a townhouse instead of a larger detached home, clothes from thrift store, etc.), but also know that the therapy is expensive, and that they need to plan for their son to have some sort of support for life. With all of that, another child didn't seem feasible for them.
2 replies · active 596 weeks ago
I agree the older women have totally dropped the ball. I come from a divorced home. I have NO example of what a good marriage is supposed to look like and have figured it out on my own in 17 1/2 years of marriage. But it would be nice if the older women in the church were willing to mentor.
Your argument about birth control allowing men to be able to have sex for free without commitment is rather ridiculous. Even if two people have sex without birth control and the woman gets pregnant the man can still walk away and not have commitment. And there are plenty of people I know that use birth control and are in committed relationships and marriages for YEARS. Your argument makes it seem as though there's no way for a woman to keep her husband/boyfriend around unless they get pregnant and are having his child.

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