Women frequently write to me or comment that they work full-time and/or their mothers worked full-time and they are very happy. Their marriages are happy and their children are turning out great. Does their experience mean I am not suppose to teach young women to be "keepers at home" as God has commanded me to do?
Whenever I write about submission, there are women who tell me they have great marriages and their marriages are one of equals. They both have equal say, not one is the leader, and not one is submissive. So does this mean I should not teach that women are to be submissive to their husbands and the husbands are the head of the wife even though Scripture is very clear about this?
Some of you never were spanked and you never spanked your children and you all grew up to be law abiding, self-disciplined adults. Does this mean I never teach about using the rod as Scripture clearly teaches? Should I not teach that God hates divorce and so you must do everything to save your marriage? That those who don't work, shouldn't eat? That husbands are to be the providers? etc.
All of you are free to live your lives the way you feel led. I am simply here to teach God's Word and His ways. You get to decide whether you want to live by them or not. Some will use hermeneutical gymnastics to try and show me where I am wrong.
I may not be right and I am sure I am not right all the time but I am only trying to teach Scripture as I interpret it and what has worked beautifully for my family and me. I loved having my mom home full-time and I am happy I was able to be home full-time with my children. I am learning to be submissive to my husband and our marriage is better than ever. We spanked our children, very infrequently, and only when they openly disobeyed us and they all grew up walking in Truth.
So, I am teaching out of God's Word and my experience as I have walked in obedience to His commands. I wasn't submissive for many years and our marriage was not good. I know some of you aren't submissive and have great marriages but I will continue to teach God's Word as I read and understand it, instead of trying to make it say what I want it to say.
God is our Creator. He made us. His Word is our instruction manual. He knows what is best for us. I trust Him and I see that His ways truly do work, over and over again. I love and seek His wisdom. He knows everything. I love His ways.
For wisdom is better than jewels,
and all that you may desire cannot compare with her.
“I, wisdom, dwell with prudence,
and I find knowledge and discretion."
Proverbs 8:11,12
Logging you in...
Cynthia · 597 weeks ago
[As an analogy - I refrain from eating pork for scriptural reasons. If asked, I'll point to Leviticus. I don't say, "well, in my experience pigs are gross" or "I once threw up after a pork dinner". Since it is a matter of scripture for me, I don't use any other justification.]
On the other hand, when you make an argument based on experience, I think it is understandable that others will chime in with their experiences. For those of us who are not in submissive relationships, we sometimes ask questions because the words alone really don't let us know exactly what day to day life is like in such relationships.
From a Biblical perspective, I do think it's important that we remember that the Bible tells us to do more than simply submit. There are also specific directions to love and respect/honor our husbands, as well as the general commandments to follows the Golden Rule and love others as we love ourselves. Terms like "submission" are often linked to some very non-Biblical relationships and lifestyles, which can be a source of extreme discomfort. Looking at things like love and respect and consideration for the feelings of others helps to distinguish Biblical and non-Biblical relationships. I do have concerns at times when I read things from wives who advocate submission which leave me thinking, "oh my, this wife makes her husband sound horrible." If it is possible for me to give anyone some pointers on improving how they think about and relate to their spouse, so that they can love and respect them and model a stable, loving relationship for their children, then I feel called to do that and believe that it is a Biblical tasks.
Diane · 597 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 597 weeks ago
Diane · 597 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 596 weeks ago
Anonymous · 597 weeks ago
I am a person who thought I was doing it right also. It was a number of years later that I came to the complete realization that I was not. Yes, it all looked good to many others, and yes I was doing some things right. After all I was a "good" Christian. It all crumbled and I live with the regret and consequences daily.
I am divorced, after a 27 year marriage, and have been remarried for 5 years to a good man. We have had our struggles, but by the help and grace of God are finding our way. We both continue to learn how to walk in His ways. That's what makes all the difference in our marriage.
God is restoring my life daily, but believe me watching my 4 children live with some of the issues and consequences of my choices while they were growing up takes me to my knees daily. It also has given me an incredibly thankful heart for the merciful, loving and forgiving God that we have.
You just keep on keeping on Lori. There are many of us that so appreciate what you share and offer here on your site.
Blessings!
jsr · 597 weeks ago
Amy · 597 weeks ago
Emily · 597 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 597 weeks ago
2happy4 66p · 597 weeks ago
As to the thief on the cross, I think it shows that it is awesome that God can do whatever He wants, whenever He wants to but to paraphrase Jesus, "what is that to us", we must follow what he commands and in numerous places baptism is commanded. I think of the thief kind of like King Hezekiah, he asked The Lord to heal the people so they could observe the Passover and The Lord is so gracious He did, but that didn't negate all the commands The Lord told Israel to observe.
I do not judge other Christians on their beliefs on baptism because I know none of us has all our theology perfectly correct and I personally am really hoping for a lot of leniency ;) but God is not known to give us frivolous tasks or tasks just for show.
As to your post, I think people mistake God's mercy for God's will. They think because God was merciful and gave them a good marriage, kids, or what-have-you despite going against what scripture says, than they figure it was God's will and that they were correct in their decisions.
God was merciful to Israel for so long that when they were sacked by the Babylonians and Assyrians, they were saying things like, "why shouldn't we continue to worship the Queen of heaven? All was good when we did." They didn't recognize that they were in the horrible position they were because of generations of unfaithfulness. God always told them how He was to be worshipped but because things went okay for so long, they figured they knew better than God.
I often hear this line of reasoning when Christians marry non-Christians. They argue that it worked out well for so-in-so, so it should work out well for them too (despite the fact that the God of the Universe said not too). They even figure that eventually their spouse may become a Christian too due to their influence, because after all, didn't that happen for so-in-so? But even though The Lord is good and is merciful does not mean that His Word is not true and that we should disobey it by picking and choosing what we agree with using our own faulty human reasoning. So just because God is a God of redemption and often redeems our bad choices, doesn't excuse our making un-Godly choices in the first place.
Again, I really appreciate all you do. If people don't like your Godly wisdom then why bother to read your blog? I wish there were more women out there like you willing to come along side of us and encourage us in walking with God. You are a blessing.
Emily · 597 weeks ago
To say that the thief on the cross was not baptized is an assumption. John the Baptizer was immersing in the Jordan River (Matthew 3:5-6) and it is possible that the thief was baptized by him. The Bible does not say whether or not the thief had been baptized so this is an assumption that we simply cannot make either way. Additionally, the thief on the cross was under the Old Covenant so the New Covenant instructions on immersion would not have applied to him at the time of his death.
Emily · 597 weeks ago
Saying that someone can be saved without being baptized is like saying that someone can be saved without faith or without repentance or without confession of Jesus as the Christ, the Son of God.
Ken · 597 weeks ago
The passages you refer to seem to infer baptism saves, and taken only on their own without the rest of the weight of scripture I might concur with you. But when one looks at the scriptures as a whole we see the primary emphasis is on faith, belief and trust in God and more specifically on the redeeming work of Jesus, His Son on the cross. ... apart from which no man can be saved.
As you know, Romans 10:9-11 says:
"If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame."
The only common denominator in all the salvation passages of the scriptures in the OT and NT requires faith. Other items like baptism and confession should be correctly viewed as the first steps of obedience by the believer, but not requirements for salvation.
Please do not confuse our obedience in baptism with what saves us. God's grace saves us by the mechanism of our faith which is not a work of any kind, but by accepting what God says to be true:
Eph 2:8-9: "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast."
I know your church probably has many answers to all I have written, but the belief that baptism saves is a fridge belief among Evangelical churches and theologians. The whole of scripture simply does not teach Lordship salvation, nor salvation through baptism, BUT I will agree with you that the importance of baptism as a first act of obedience should not be discounted.
Please stop insisting on any works to be done to be saved, apart from simply accepting God's grace through faith. It does a disservice to the Kingdom to insist on anything but Christ alone. If you want to teach the importance of baptism, teach it as the scriptures teach it... the first act of obedience to what God has clearly commanded. BUT many are saved and are not baptized, mainly due to ignorance of the their church not placing enough emphasis on this important act, symbol and sign of salvation.
Emily · 596 weeks ago
I am indeed a part of the church of Christ, that is, the church that belongs to Christ -- Christ's church (Romans 16:16). We are not Catholic, Protestant, or a denomination. We are simply Christians (Acts 11:26). We simply seek to follow the Bible and be the church that we read about in the New Testament.
Emily · 596 weeks ago
As I mentioned in my reply to Lori, we must take Scripture as a whole. In doing so, we cannot isolate faith at the expense of repentance, confession, baptism, or any other aspect of salvation.
You asked that I please stop insisting on any works to be done in order to be saved, apart from accepting God's grace through faith. I only insist on us not ignoring any steps of salvation. While it is true that we are not saved by works of merit (Ephesians 2:9), we are nonetheless saved by works of obedience (James 2:24).
Emily · 596 weeks ago
If baptism is not necessary for salvation, please explain Acts 2:38, "Then Peter said unto them, Repent, AND BE BAPTIZED every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ FOR THE REMISSION OF SINS, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost" and Mark 16:16, "He that believeth AND IS BAPTIZED shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned."
Kelley · 597 weeks ago
Thanks for being an obedient Titus 2 woman!
Courtney · 597 weeks ago
In any case, I appreciate your blog and everything I learn from it about a biblical worldview. Our nation is so divided these days and it seems like everything I hear on the news is "us versus them." On both sides, any different point of view is painted as stupid and thoughtless. It's my personal belief that the first step to peace and harmony is understanding, so thank you for writing this blog and letting an unbeliever like myself understand a little more about a view different from my own. I know when I leave comments, I'm coming from a very different starting point, so if you'd rather me not comment anymore, I'll stop. Just let me know :)
Lori Alexander 122p · 597 weeks ago
Joluise · 597 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 597 weeks ago
If God says that wives are to be taught to be keepers at home, then He must be willing and able to meet the "needs" of those who try to follow His design. I have personally seen and known too many wives who are working for things that pale in value compared to being home with their children during their most vulnerable years. They have gained in some ways by working, but have lost big when it comes to their kids, many who are not following Jesus into their later teens and beyond..
I have seen wives who lived on half of what most families make and have raised wonderful kids who love the Lord, one who even did it all while her husband was in prison for a number of years. Was it easy, no. But God blesses many families who desire to do things His very best ways.
Kids who love the Lord can be raised by mothers who work outside the home, but add an extra margin of risk for issues that many kids face by not having Mom at home when they need her most. And it is the working wife who seems to lose the most, but sometimes it is unavoidable, just as you say.
Becky · 595 weeks ago