James Dobson finally came out and emphatically stated the detrimental effect women leaving the home to pursue a career has on a family ~
I have never written this before, and I will be criticized for saying so now, but I believe the two-career family during the child-rearing years creates a level of stress that is tearing people apart. And it often deprives children of something that they will search for the rest of their lives.
For many years, he said that the early years in a child's life are the most important for a mother to be home. Then, he decided that elementary years were just as important. Finally, he changed his mind that high school years were the most important. Now, he has come to the realization that children need a mother in the home during ALL the years that they are under their parent's roof. They need to be taken care of , protected, given boundaries, and trained.
Dr. Dobson goes on to say ~
My prayer is that a scale-back from a lifestyle of constant time-pressures will someday occur. If it ever becomes a movement, it will portend wonderfully for the family. It should result in fewer divorces and more domestic harmony. Children will regain the status they deserve and their welfare will be enhanced on a thousand fronts. We haven't begun to approach these goals yet, but we can only hope that a significant segment of the population will awaken someday from the nightmare of over commitment and say, "This is a crazy way to live. There has to be a better way than this to raise our kids. We will make the financial sacrifices necessary to slow the pace of living."
It is not enough simply to be at home and available to our children, however. We must use the opportunities of these few short years to teach them our values and beliefs. Millions of young people who have grown up in the relative opulence of North America have not had that training. They are terribly confused about transcendent values. We have given them more material blessings than any generation in history. They have had opportunities never dreamed of by their ancestors. Most have never heard the pounding of artillery shells or the explosion of grenades. More money has been spent on their education, medical care, entertainment, and travel than any who have gone before. Yew we have failed them in the most important of all parental responsibilities: We have not taught them who they are as children of God or what they have been placed here to do.
Most pastors and teachers are afraid to say these kind of things these days because so many women will get offended. Many women would probably leave a church that taught this! We should never be afraid of teaching God's truths. We must continue to shine the light of Truth in this dark world. Children need a mother at home. They do. They really do.
For many years, he said that the early years in a child's life are the most important for a mother to be home. Then, he decided that elementary years were just as important. Finally, he changed his mind that high school years were the most important. Now, he has come to the realization that children need a mother in the home during ALL the years that they are under their parent's roof. They need to be taken care of , protected, given boundaries, and trained.
Dr. Dobson goes on to say ~
My prayer is that a scale-back from a lifestyle of constant time-pressures will someday occur. If it ever becomes a movement, it will portend wonderfully for the family. It should result in fewer divorces and more domestic harmony. Children will regain the status they deserve and their welfare will be enhanced on a thousand fronts. We haven't begun to approach these goals yet, but we can only hope that a significant segment of the population will awaken someday from the nightmare of over commitment and say, "This is a crazy way to live. There has to be a better way than this to raise our kids. We will make the financial sacrifices necessary to slow the pace of living."
It is not enough simply to be at home and available to our children, however. We must use the opportunities of these few short years to teach them our values and beliefs. Millions of young people who have grown up in the relative opulence of North America have not had that training. They are terribly confused about transcendent values. We have given them more material blessings than any generation in history. They have had opportunities never dreamed of by their ancestors. Most have never heard the pounding of artillery shells or the explosion of grenades. More money has been spent on their education, medical care, entertainment, and travel than any who have gone before. Yew we have failed them in the most important of all parental responsibilities: We have not taught them who they are as children of God or what they have been placed here to do.
Most pastors and teachers are afraid to say these kind of things these days because so many women will get offended. Many women would probably leave a church that taught this! We should never be afraid of teaching God's truths. We must continue to shine the light of Truth in this dark world. Children need a mother at home. They do. They really do.
She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:27
2happy4 66p · 595 weeks ago
linda · 595 weeks ago
Ken · 595 weeks ago
Our four kids would not be who they are today without Lori being there for them. The value of a stay at home Mom is golden... but certainly all things done to God's ideal are that way. A Mom working is at times a necessity, but Christians must rightfully judge between what is truly a necessity or simply having nicer things, while losing the hearts of your kids to the world.
Trudy · 595 weeks ago
Diane · 595 weeks ago
rags to have her stay home with me. I still struggle with searching for why she didn't feel complete in the home when she made the choice to have kids. My dad made a good living but she had to have the latest everything. I am so grateful that I had women in my church who could disciple me to learn what you are teaching others. Keep up the great work. If those don't like what you are saying, they can stop reading your posts but most of us are cheering you on.
Diane
Charlotte · 595 weeks ago
So, based upon that background, I'm curious why you would think that women in the Christian churches would be offended and leave? Does that happen? And is this not being taught in the Christian churches?
Any insight will be appreciated! I enjoy reading your blog even though I am not a Christian. I have learned a lot about the religion and why certain things are done or believed :)
Ginger · 595 weeks ago
Cynthia Swenson · 595 weeks ago
sheworksretail 36p · 595 weeks ago
I don't mean to argue, but I really don't understand what was "missing" from my childhood; what it is that I, as a working parents' kid, am so likely to be searching for.
Jacqueline · 595 weeks ago
Virginia · 595 weeks ago
Also - to comment on the Charlotte's comment above ( the lady who said she was a Mormon) - unfortunately - yes -- the Christian churches are mostly so secularized most Christian women do work and are sadly encouraged to do so - go to college - get a career and put that 1st..... it's a common mindset in the world and sadly in most Christian churches.... it seems to me that most women are looked down upon for wanting to have a family over a career....... so sad - but so true. So yes, most women in Christian churches would be offended to hear such sermons.... so sad to say. Older woman are not instructing younger woman either as it states in the Bible... at least not in my circles. It seems younger women don't revere older woman as they used to.... which is sad too. I ay that to say that it would be nice to see older women modeling to younger women what it's like to have a family and cook and clean and tend the home and ENJOY it and not wish they were working etc. Where are those Christian examples these days? We desperately need them. Even though I am at home - I struggle greatly with anger -- I think some of it due in part to feeling like a I need something more -- grumbling often about cleaning and cooking. I wish I was not as much like this - but I HAVE come a LONG way from where I was in that regard. Still working on meal planning though... that's a tough one.
Pamela · 595 weeks ago
quiverfullofblessings 1p · 595 weeks ago
Carlotta · 595 weeks ago
Why would you assume that because in your one particular situation where loving Grandparents stepped in that it would happen for anyone else? You are making a massive leap in cause and effect here and the current culture, societal ills and statistics shown you to be an anomaly who should be eternally grateful rather then someone thinking they are the norm.
Deb · 595 weeks ago
Sonya · 595 weeks ago
Thanks again!
anneke vandenberg · 594 weeks ago
As parents, we need to be flexible and realistic about costs of living. I am a very frugal person but also very capable. I have taught my children they need to be well educated so they can have a wider range of choices in life and choose a profession where they can use their God given talents.
We need women in Parliament, schools, hospitals, law, etc. Women make up 50% of the population, so I would like to think women also contribute that amount at least! Remember the scriptures that there is a time for everything! Remember the women in the market place who sold and bought garments- this woman was a business woman, so lets stop being idealistic and stop JUDGING other women who do things differently.
Lets learn from each other and work together as husbands and wives ought to- for better and for worse
Kim · 592 weeks ago