Should a wife ever give a husband an ultimatum? What if he is practicing sin, can she then? What if their marriage is falling apart? Should she insist on counseling? My opinion is no, she should not, unless he is physically abusing you. Then call the authorities quickly!
She can ask him once about anything, even confront a sin once. Many more times than that and she is nagging him and acting like a mother to him and not a wife. The Bible is very clear that we may win our husbands without a word. Allow the Holy Spirit to convict and change him. It is His job, not ours.
The Bible commands women to have quiet and gentle spirits. It tells us to heap burning coals upon our enemy's head {even if that enemy is your husband}, which means you continue to serve and love him in spite of his behavior.
Arguing with him, demanding your way, getting angry with him, or insisting he does something doesn't work. Some of you have tried it for many years so you know it doesn't work. Men were created to fight back and if their wives are fighting them, they will fight back.
Becoming like Jesus, loving like Jesus, and having the joy of Jesus is what will change them, even more than counseling. I have mentored many women over the years. Many of them have been to counselors and marriage seminars and nothing has worked. Once they begin applying biblical principles, marriages begin repairing.
It may take a long time. Don't give up hope. Believe God's promises that He works all things for good to those who love Him and are called to His purposes. Stay committed to your marriage even when it seems hopeless. Stay obedient to Him and His ways and you will reap amazing fruit for we are promised we reap what we sow.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
I Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
I Corinthians 13:4-7
Logging you in...
Emily · 598 weeks ago
up trying to fix it a long time ago, thanks to your counsel(biblical principles), and the
hope I have in my heart, that God can change my husband, if that's His will. I've learned
to hold my tongue with my husband and talk a lot to God. Thanks for the reminder that
bugging our husbands about something positive and helpful like marriage counseling
is considered nagging! The Romans verse you quoted in the last paragraph, "He works all things for good...", was my mom's favorite Bible verse. She passed away 3 weeks ago, and the pastor will be speaking on that verse and other Roman's verses, tomorrow, at her memorial
service. I'm praying often for you, Lori.
Lori Alexander 122p · 598 weeks ago
mvstephenson 44p · 598 weeks ago
Angel · 597 weeks ago
Cynthia · 597 weeks ago
"It tells us to heap burning coals upon our enemy's head {even if that enemy is your husband}, which means you continue to serve and love him in spite of his behavior."
How horrible is it for a wife to think about her own husband as her enemy! I also find it so sad to read about good women who have given up hope that they can fix their difficult marriages.
The bible also calls for love and respect, and I don't see how that is possible if a woman has the mindset that her husband is her enemy. Doesn't the first step need to be to address the heart of the matter - to work on developing true respect?
My kids used to attend a nursery school asked parents to write a "good deed note" for their child on a regular basis, which would be read aloud by the teacher and stuck onto a "good deed tree" in the class. The brilliance of this idea was that we started to look for good in our kids, and they responded to the positive attention by looking for ways to be good.
People of all ages want attention and appreciation. Instead of focusing on just keeping silent, maybe some of these wives should try to see what their husband are doing right, and thank him for these things.
Jennifer · 414 weeks ago