Monday, October 14, 2013

Living Over A Bowling Alley


From the time my dad was four years old to the time he was 21 years old, he lived in a little two-bedroom apartment with his mom and dad directly over a bowling alley.  His bed was right over the place where the balls hit the pins.  I asked him if it was hard to get use to the noise and he said it was at first.  {Now I know why he is such a good sleeper and can sleep anywhere!}

His dad was a machinist for Abbott Laboratories and made very little money but he never wanted his wife to work.  He wanted to be the provider and have his wife home taking care of the home and my dad.  I asked him if he ever felt poor.  He said he never remember missing one meal or going to bed hungry. He had a roof over his head, clothes on his back and a mother and father who loved him dearly.

My mom was raised by a milkman and his wife. They had seven children and my mom's mom never worked outside of the home. Men back in those days didn't want their wives to work. They wanted to be the provider and protector even though they had very little. People were content in smaller homes, only one car, few clothes and very little stuff.

My dad said times were different back then. He never wanted my mom to work. He liked having her at home raising us. He worked very hard so she would never have to. Most men seem to care much more about building their financial empire and buying things than their spiritual lineage through children walking in Truth.

A doctor wrote me the other day this email ~

 After almost seven years of government service and in agreement with my husband, I will be leaving my job with the government to return home full time in approximately 23 days (resignation letter will be delivered Friday, please pray for me here:-) and also to work some of the businesses God gave me as ministry in many ways. Your blog kept me encouraged as I made the hard steps toward this transition. I could say so much more but I am so looking forward to the return to home as I have for many years had to divide my attention between work and family to a detriment of not only my health but on some level my family. I feel extraordinarily blessed that my family was not terribly compromised however but my stressful job really inhibited my ability to be all that I know God wants me to be to my family {husband and one son} in the way of service. 

I am so happy for her. Every female doctor that I know personally regrets begin a doctor once they have babies. They want so badly to be able to be home full-time but can't because of all the debt they have from their education. This woman has realized that her true ministry is to her family. I am praying more and more men are realizing the value their wives have of being stay-at-home moms and learn the value of having and buying less stuff.

Keep your lives free from the love of money
 and be content with what you have, 
because God has said, "Never will I leave you; 
never will I forsake you."

Hebrews 13:5

Comments (28)

Loading... Logging you in...
  • Logged in as
Dawn E. Brown's avatar

Dawn E. Brown · 597 weeks ago

Beautiful,this is just so true.When Mom is home,and Dad is providing,God honors and blesses. This is scriptural.We ladies are to "Keepers At Home". Love this Dr's. note,and she will be so blessed.I am home, husband provides, working 2 jobs,our children are grown and married,yet my dear Husband still desires me home. Blessings, Dawn E. Brown
My husband and I were just having a conversation the other night on this very subject. I struggle to even share some of your articles because of the upset it may cause some of my family and friends. I think it's only because they will feel the prick of a guilty conscience that they work hard to ignore. I totally agree with you on this.
I watched my daughter and her husband decide for her to go back to work after their second child was born. She was going to stay home, and that lasted a year. He didn't like the money crunch or being the only one bringing home a check. Within a couple years after her returning to work they bought an incredibly nice big home, even though the house they had been renting was a beautiful home at a reasonable price and they loved the location and living there. The new one they bought has 5 baths, 4 bedrooms, all the crazy luxuries like a garden tub and huge walk in closets. All that for only 4 people.
Don't get me wrong she is a very good mother and I'm glad she is a teacher as that gives her a good schedule of time with the kids, like summers off. I have to say her husband is good to help out around the house also. He did know that would be a requirement. I guess he wanted the "extras" that money can buy bad enough that it was worth it to him.
I just don't get choosing all the "finer" stuff in life. I really believe the majority of young man want it that way now. Men are very different now than what they used to be. What's really sad is when a woman would rather be at home but the husband just doesn't want that.
My dad worked a full, and part time jobs for a while to make ends meet when he had to. There were 7 of us, but it wasn't a question as to whether or not mom was gong to be at home running it. I was fortunate to be a stay at home mother the entire time my four children were growing up. I will always be thankful for that.
I'm sure the case that some women don't want or like to stay at home will be made. As you have tried to state before, it's just a different kind of world we live in today.
1 reply · active 597 weeks ago
I love this post. I couldn't agree more. Being a full time mother and homemaker is near the very top of my "most important things" list! I'm so thankful that I get to be here to see and experience every little and big thing with my children. I'm the one to hug them and wipe away their tears if they fall and bump their head. I think it is much more comforting to them than a day care provider doing that. I'm the one to make their special sandwiches for lunch where I spell their names with the mustard. :) I'm the one to read stories, wipe bottoms and noses, and take advantage of all those little teaching moments during the day. All the little kisses, back tickles, snuggles, etc would be impossible to do if I wasn't here.

Not too long ago I read a blog with a series of schedules of working mothers. I honestly came away feeling SO SAD for these women. I know it is their choice, but how can you not feel sad when they are getting a grand total of 2-3 hours a day with their children? It would literally kill me. My children need ME...their mom - not a paid employee, not even a grandma or an aunt. I think so many of these women think they HAVE to work and then you look at their living conditions and it's no wonder why. They are maintaining a lifestyle that they think is necessary, but it's really not.

It relieves me to know that I will never have to look back and regret the things I missed out on. I am here for everything and no luxury could drag me away! And I am so blessed with a husband who wouldn't ask me to work no matter the financial situation. He has told me many times that he would hold 3 jobs before he would take me away from our kids and home.

I think Satan knows that if he can pull the mother away from the family, the rest of the family is free game. He has tricked women into thinking they have to work, when what kids really need is their mother, not all the things her paycheck will provide.
1 reply · active 597 weeks ago
Keri McPherson's avatar

Keri McPherson · 597 weeks ago

Hello,
This is not really on the subject but..... My family needs your prayers. My husband just got the call his mortgage company is going out of business. The owner is a veteran as are most of the employees. They could not stay in business with all the regulations the Govt is putting on these companies.
Anyway, we just found out and are processing it all. I know The Lord is our strength and our source it's just a little scary right now! Please be praying for guidance and wisdom!
Thank you all for prayers.
4 replies · active 597 weeks ago
My parents both worked very hard to create a wonderful loving Christian home for my brothers and I. Whilst my mother worked full-time as a school teacher and my father built a farm from scratch, life was wonderful and we were all very blessed (even though we had to get through droughts, hail that wiped out crops and bushfires that destroyed
the farm). We never felt neglected or wanting for anything as my parents made sure that we were all dearly loved. It is important not to judge other families or even feel sad for them if mum works, as quite often these families are as loving and as blessed as your family, they just do things differently. And the Lord works in mysterious ways and makes sure that these families are ok, He doesn’t punish those families because mum work, He helps in so many ways, I know this from experiences.
4 replies · active 597 weeks ago
Genevra Ower's avatar

Genevra Ower · 597 weeks ago

My mother did work occasionally, as a substitute teacher, and then at Rooks's where she handled the breakfast trade. I started teaching when Lynelle entered 7th grade. We were looking toward college expenses, and I wanted to teach. I LOVED my job...working with children, and my colleagues were a joy, still some of my best friends. When Don died, I was fortunate to have a job. I now live comfortably on my retirement. Teachers are an interesting lot.... full of curiosity, outreaching, actively involved in the world and have a very positive outlook. I wouldn't have missed the joy of teaching just to be at home. And my kids are all just great!! Aunt Genny
1 reply · active 597 weeks ago
Dear Lori,

Like all your truth-packed posts, I enjoyed this one, too, but feel you could be more specific when you state "work," that your grandfathers didn't want your grandmothers to work OUTSIDE THE HOME.

All God's ladies know that every single day, we work, and we work hard, and we do so with joy. When I was a young mother of two, I may not have always looked at those days in that way, but hindsight is 20-20. I can see clearly now.

When I rise each morning, I GET to work at home. What a privilege! What an honor! What a joy! I GET to pick up after my husband of 32 years (we have an empty nest after raising two now-married daughters), cook, clean, show him how special he is to me. Honestly, these days I don't "work" because this is the best job I've ever loved.

Every lady is a working lady-- whether she's still a daughter at home, a wife at home and/or a mother or a grandmother or a widow at home. When we're happy in our work, the world is a happy place.

Love your teachings!
Kelley~
1 reply · active 597 weeks ago
My husband is pushing me to go back to work full time. For the past several years I have worked part time while my children are at school. Since January of this year, I have also worked an additional part time job, usually the hours when my husband is home with the children. For several months I worked 50, 60, even 80 hrs a week. Even though our children are a bit older (10, 13 and a 19 yr old out of the house), I believe it is so important for me to be home when they come home from school. He works 4 evenings a week, so I also take care of all their homework, activities, most sports practices, etc. His job is very stressful and he says me going back to work full time will ease his stress. I am so upset and feel like I am trapped. I have no choice, because he won't agree to anything other than me getting a full time job. Please pray for me and for my family.
4 replies · active 597 weeks ago
Lori, I'm curious what your opinion is about couples that opt to reverse roles--the father is a stay at home dad and the mother works. I know a couple that has done this and they are very happy with the arrangement.

As a (possible) follow-up, if you believe they are acting un-biblically, what if the husband were to be the one to suggest the arrangement? Should the wife submit to her husband or should she press for biblical roles?
1 reply · active 597 weeks ago
Dear Lori, thank you for posting this, my husband wants me to work at home, though I enjoy it most days, it is hard when you don`t have children yet. I try to be creative with my time, learning to cook, work with my hands, study ect I am speaking at our women s bible study on marriage, this Sat. I am teaching about going the extra mile in your marriage, which can even mean doing the small things well. Please pray that God would continue to bring people into my life to to minister too. Praise the Lord, for people who are strong in their purpose in life. God Bless you
Does a cartoon count? Frank Grimes from the Simpsons claims: " I live in a single room above a bowling alley, and below another bowling alley..." Great blog! :)

Post a new comment

Comments by