Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Render Due Benevolence?


What does that mean "render due benevolence?"  If you take it in context from the following Bible verses, I think it means to give sex to your husband a lot!

It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.  The wife has not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband has not power of his own body, but the wife. 

Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 
I Corinthians 7:1-5

Important verses; verses I think are ignored in today's culture. Marriage was designed by God to have a man and a woman become one flesh. Once they get married, they no longer have control over their own bodies. I have known many women who defraud their husbands of their bodies. They give them sex once a week or less. 

Mark Driscoll taught in his Peasant Princess series that most men would like to have sex every day. That is a lot for a woman, especially if she is pregnant, nursing, and raising children. I want to challenge you to think of pleasing your husband in this way differently. It only needs to take ten minutes and it makes your husband really happy! 

We need to stop thinking of it as a chore and start thinking of it as making the most important person in your life happy. Waking up in the middle of the night to feed your baby is not that difficult, because you want to make your baby happy. Attitude is everything!

According to these verses, God seems to know how important a satisfying sexual relationship is in a marriage.  If you deprive each other, it can lead to harm.  If men aren't getting it from their wives, they may go elsewhere, even though they shouldn't. They have a physical need for sex that most women don't understand, but God understands and that is why He gave this instruction to us. We need to believe it and obey it!

So as an older woman to you younger women and not so young, keep your husbands happy in this area! Happy husbands make happy marriages! Go back to the simplicity that is in Christ {2 Corinthians 11:3}. That means to take Scripture at face value, believe it to be true, and obey it. Simple as that and then reap the rewards of doing things God's ways.

Comments (18)

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Great post....I was thinking of doing one similar because my concern is that if I don't make my husband happy in this area it will cause him to sin, or make it hard for him. I certainly don't want him to be tempted by the world because I was selfish one time. You know?
Thanks for your blog and speaking the truth in love. Simplicity that is in Christ. I love that!

xoxoxox,
Jenny
I heard about a speaker who was speaking to a group of teens and adults say this: "If you want to have sex, get married and then make up for lost time." Enjoy your posts!
As a woman who is 56, I've had to do some research in order to find natural solutions to address the changes a woman's body goes through at menopause. For a while, sex was very painful because of vaginal dryness and sex drive was zero....but I knew that I had to do something because I agree that the sexual relationship is very important in a marriage. I started using bio-identical hormones (progesterone and estrogen) and that helped immensely. (I've found that raw coconut oil is a great lubricant, too.) Now, I've stopped the bio-identical hormones and am trying maca...so far, so good. I love that my husband is still virile after 35 years of marriage! I told him just the other day that I loved how virile he was. He said, "Hey, what does that word mean? I want to know what I am!" :) I said, " It means you have a lot of sexual vigor and strength and manliness." He liked that! Thank you for posting this.....women of all ages need to know how very important the sexual relationship is to our husbands.
My husband and I share our bodies with each other, which we enjoy a lot ;) But we are still in control of our own bodies. Some men desire sex every day, but many men don't. I know many women that desire sex more than their husbands. It may only take 10 minutes for the man, but for lovemaking to be satisfying for the woman, it usually takes longer. I'd rather have wonderful wow, sex twice a week than ho-hum sex daily.
2 replies · active 495 weeks ago
So glad I'm in control of my body . Otherwise my husband can say I want x and you have no say since it's my body.
You're NOT in control of your body or you are a liar siding with the devil .
The Bible says that NO SPOUSE has authority over his/her body , so how can you be in control of your body ?
Hi Lori, lot of sensible comments here, there really is no right or wrong way to approach keeping your marriage alive and well - it really does depend upon the needs of each other. It's good that people are open today and discuss these things - when I was a young wife no-one ever discussed these things. Thanks for sharing and Happy New Year. I have recently found your blog and am now following you, and will visit often. Please stop by my blog and perhaps you would like to follow me also. Have a wonderful day. Hugs, Chris http://chelencarter-retiredandlovingit.blogspot.c...
Jacqueline 's avatar

Jacqueline · 690 weeks ago

I am in agreement with Sue. I am now interested in Maca! LOL The things I learn about here on blogs ;) We written and very, very timely for me. Many blessings in the Lord!
This is something SO many struggle with and yet we don't talk through it and encourage it nearly enough! I remember a wiser woman telling me when I first got married to always say "yes." She said that many times I won't "feel" like it but getting in the practice of always saying yes to her husband made a WORLD of difference in how they both saw and treated one another. It's definitely something I'm working on -- but it can be hard!
1 reply · active 495 weeks ago
As if women were asexual ..yeah !
Isn't the husband commanded to render his wife due benevolance as well ????
If he is , it is because sex is a DUE for BOTH spouses !!!

Now , as for you , you cannot say 'yes' or 'no' since your body does not belong to you anymore. The Bible cannot be clearer : sex can be withheld ONLY with the other spouse's consent.
Withholdng is IMPOSSIBLE since you have no right over your body.
They say that sex and money are the top two problems in marriages. The Bible has a lot to say on both subjects. I agree with most of the comments here. I'm glad you shared this important message.
New Year Blessings,
Charlotte
good thoughts Lori.....have a great weekend.
Thanks for saying what is hard for some!
Sadly, I am one of those husbands that has a wife that made excuses and found distractions to avoid intimacy. This was an issue that was going on for years and started happening after our first and only child was born, so I eventually lost all desire including to not even want to masturbate. What

Ladies, please don't deprive your husband or he may become as I have.
1 reply · active 495 weeks ago
How can women deprive their husbands since they have NO POWER over their own body ?
Please answer that tough one.
The truth is that the BIBLE is not told anymore and Biblical marital duty has been replaced by demonic marital rape lie that deceives wives into thinking that their body is theirs..
But YOU are the one who has authority over your wife's body , so you just have to come and drink (proverbs 5) and your wife has to submit to you in everything anyway.
Gods daughter's avatar

Gods daughter · 504 weeks ago

I struggle at this. I am 26 and am not comfortable with sexy dancing and all that my significant other wants. We been together for 11 years and this is a big recurring problem. He wants what I feel I can't offer. I know he means well but I am at a lost. I don't feel sexy and or want to engage in such acts but also don't want to break my family down with my own hands.
It certainly cannot be that a woman should make her body available every time. What about when she is exhausted, on her period, sick etc?
John ch 15:1) I Am the true Vine and my Father is the " HUSBANDMAN." Revelation ch 19 Jesus is joined to the church in marriage. The two become as one. Revelation ch 12 there's a war in heaven.Lucifer and 1/3 of the angels in heaven are cast-out. What come out of heaven is replaced by Jesus and the church. Just like marriage in Genesis ch 2, a rib is taken out of Adam and God makes the man a woman from his rib, God brings the woman to the man as a father gives his daughter away to a groom when they get married. What God took out in creation is returned when a man is joined back to wife, which God made from each man's rib, when he spoke creation in chapter 1 becomes in Genesis ch 2. My wife was taken out from me in the day God created us. When we got married, what God took from me in creation is returned back to me, 2 become 1 again. Just like the church and Christ, the 2 become 1, what was removed from heaven when Lucifer failed from grace, is returned by Jesus to his Father in heaven. Matthew ch 5 and 19 Jesus says, what God hath joined in marriage, let no man separate. Only fornication can you divorce, but Jesus says your to remain single, unless your joined back to your spouse. If you divorce and remarry, Jesus says, you and the one you married are in adultery. That's because the wife came out of her first husband. If she divorces and marries another, she didn't come out or was created for the 2nd husband.

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