Are couples getting married later these days or is it just my imagination? My mom said that in her generation, most couples got married out of high school. I got married when I was 22 and a lot of my friends got married shortly after that. Now, couples seem to be in their mid to late twenties when they get married.
I have been reading a magazine written by this man with thirteen children. He calls his family CHQC which stands for Christian, homeschooling, quiverful, courtship. In his magazine he has a quote from Martin Luther from 1522 ~
To sum the matter up: whoever finds himself unsuited in the celibate life should see to it right away that he has something to do and work at; then let him strike out in God's name and get married. A young man should marry at the age of twenty at the latest, a young woman at fifteen to eighteen; that's when they are still in good health and best suited for marriage. Let God worry about how they and their children are to be fed. God makes children; he will surely also feed them.
This man then bemoans the fact that his older children are having trouble finding suitable spouses and he believes it is because they are so isolated in their beliefs. He is trying to figure out a way to get like-minded families together.
I am not so sure that is the problem, however. I know many great kids who went to a Christian high school and to Christian colleges. They attend large, active churches yet they are still unmarried in their mid to late twenties, even early thirties. They are available to meet members of the opposite sex and want to get married.
The problem isn't easy to diagnose or solve. My opinion is that it is all in God's hands. The Bible addresses young, single women this way ~
The unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. I Corinthians 7:34
If she is seeking the Lord's will, asking for a godly spouse, then she just must patiently wait upon the Lord and His perfect timing. You can't force a marriage. Either two people are attracted to each other or they are not.
So take heart all you single people out there. Trust God and His timing. Do find ways to serve the Lord and meet people, but don't let your discouragement pull you down. Continue to Serve the LORD with gladness; Come before Him with joyful singing.
Psalm 100:2
P.S. It looks like I, along with my daughters and daughter-in-law, are going to have to seriously think and pray about having week long seminars out here in sunny San Diego teaching women all about getting their Mrs. Degree! Thank you for all your enthusiastic comments. Ken is all for it! :)
P.S. It looks like I, along with my daughters and daughter-in-law, are going to have to seriously think and pray about having week long seminars out here in sunny San Diego teaching women all about getting their Mrs. Degree! Thank you for all your enthusiastic comments. Ken is all for it! :)
Amy · 687 weeks ago
AMY · 687 weeks ago
Lauren · 687 weeks ago
Ann · 687 weeks ago
Scienceteacher · 687 weeks ago
That being said, I think there are a number of things causing this issue- first, children and teens, especially boys, are told by their parents to wait to get married, and not to rush into things. Instead of being viewed as a supportive and committed union, the media has painted marriage as something men should avoid at all costs- an "End Game" of sorts that results in a total loss of freedom. Girls who want to get married are looked upon as "strange" and "misguided". Men avoid then for fear of getting "trapped" into a relationship.
Adding to the issue is the state of Extended Adolescence that I'm seeing in many young adults. Individuals under 27 or 28 years of age seem to be of the mindset that they are entitled to anything and everything they desire. Their focus is entirely on their own wants and needs, and many parents are enabling this behavior. Instead of encouraging their sons and daughters to become active in education, employment, and faith organizations, they are allowing the children to play video and computer games, and isolate themselves from others.
Finally, I think that the way marriage is portrayed in the media, and by a large portion of the public makes it seem unappealing to most young people. As they get older and learn to separate their ideals and goals for relationships from those shown and told to them, they begin to see that marriage can be a beautiful thing. With all the pressure NOT to marry young, it can be difficult for those in mixed social groups to take the leap to begin that relationship they want, and have realized they can have no matter what society tells them.
I think the biggest service religious institutions can provide young people is education on what marriage really looks like and why it is a wonderful thing. This would need to go beyond what is in a sermon, or the typical "bible school" courses. Young men especially (mostly because I feel like there are many more young women waiting for God's timing in a mate than there are young men looking, and men should be doing the pursuing and asking) need someone to tell them why marriage is important and what to look for in a life partner. It has to start with the young people, or pretty soon there will not be any more young people.
Brit · 687 weeks ago
Renae · 687 weeks ago
My husband and I have gone through a lot. My husband has Type 1 diabetes and we've dealt with health issues with that including a kidney transplant in 2009 and an upcoming pancreas transplant...but we've made it through together with God. Stronger than ever.
joyfulkasey 17p · 687 weeks ago
Joluise · 687 weeks ago
I don't think it matters when young people get married, I think it is more important about how long they stay married.
Jenny · 687 weeks ago
If children were still taught the same virtues and values as their grand and great-grand parents, I think a lot more would marry young.
Mara Wildflower · 687 weeks ago
However, sometimes this is not possible. Many of the peers in my group were getting married young in their 20's, and I was not. I was finally married 2 months shy of my 37th birthday. This was not what I had planned or wanted, but it was the way life worked for me.
I still know of some ladies who are in their 40's and not married, not because they don't desire marriage. It's usually because there are not suitable Christian men their age to marry.
Yes, being able to marry young is truly a blessing, but if one gets married older (not because they are purposely attempting to delay marriage), God still will bless that union as well.
Louisa · 687 weeks ago
Anne · 687 weeks ago
Melissa · 687 weeks ago
ayearinskirts 66p · 687 weeks ago
In the present time, people view 23 as being very young for marriage, which I think is just silly.
However, overall young people are encouraged to have career goals over family goals, so getting an education and working is really primary in most minds and hearts from a very early age. Or maybe it is just harder for people to meet each other?
Erin · 687 weeks ago
I was married 13 years ago at the age of 24. My husband was 30. Perhaps we wouldn't be married if we had met when I was young as he was already teaching while I was still in High School! Still, we are both proponants of marrying young and hope our children do just that. I'm not sure why people are delaying marriage, there are probably a number of complexities involved. I would imagine that materialism, self-centeredness and the sexual revolution all play a part.
Viola · 687 weeks ago
JJJ · 687 weeks ago
Marriage should come when God sends you a partner. That might be 18 or 30 or 45. It is His timing, not yours.
JJJ · 687 weeks ago
Jaimie · 687 weeks ago
I don't think a young marriage is for everyone, but for us it was certainly the wisest choice--not according to the thinking of the world, but according to God. Our parents reminded us of that very often, which was so encouraging.
When it all comes down to it--GOD'S timing is the best. It is perfect. And he works things the way they are best. :)
For Journey's Sake · 687 weeks ago
Great post!
Patience · 687 weeks ago
While our bodies may be fully developed by late teens and early twenties, the human brain is not fully developed until it reaches 25-26 years of age. Like an earlier post said, the person we would marry at 20 is not the same person we would marry at 28. If it works for you, great! But it's irresponsible to pressure such a huge commitment on someone else. I feel pressure from some of my family (I'm 25), but luckily, they also taught me to be independent and only do something when I feel it is 100% right for me and that it will be right with the Lord.
Jacqueline · 687 weeks ago
Jessica · 687 weeks ago
Far Above Rubies · 686 weeks ago