Sunday, January 1, 2012

The Road To Divorce


Let all bitterness, and wrath, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you. 
Ephesians 4:31,32

I believe divorce begins with bitterness. This is why the Bibles wisely advises against bitterness taking any root in your life ~

See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. 
Hebrews 12:15

According to Ephesians, bitterness starts by becoming angry and upset with your husband because of something he is doing or not doing. It can be small like watching too much television or putting his dirty clothes on the floor. It could be something big like looking at pornography or never showing love to you.

Then you start getting angry and letting him know how you feel by pouting, giving him the silent treatment, or yelling at him. You begin arguing and fighting all the time.

This then leads to evil speaking about him to anyone who will listen. You ask for prayer at Bible Study and tell all the women the details about how horrible your husband is acting. Then malice begins. He hurt you so you start hurting him. It is payback time.  You start withholding sex or not talking to him at all. 

You end up in as much sin as your husband by responding to the hurt he is causing you with bitterness. This bitterness ends up defiling your marriage, your children, and your home as the verse in Hebrews states.

My advice to you when your husband is doing something you don't like or is just plain wrong, discuss it with him several times then leave it in God's hands. Start practicing Ephesians 4: 32. Be kind to him. Be tenderhearted towards him. Forgive him as Christ forgave you. Win him without a word. Heap coals upon his head.

Let God convict him and change him. Your chance of getting divorced if you practice this instead of bitterness is much less.  God's ways work.
Print Friendly and PDF
Posted by Always Learning at 6:00 PM
Labels:

Comments (8)

Loading... Logging you in...
Dashboard | Edit profile | Logout
  • Logged in as
0 Vote up Vote down
Dawn's avatar - Go to profile

Dawn · 690 weeks ago

I shared this on my page. Good word. We all need to guard ourselves. Not easy, but God is faithful. And as a child of divorce (and so much more) I so know about the ugliness and pain that divorce leaves in it's wake. It takes yielding to Him daily, and understanding the fragility of people and trusting the power, provision and providence of God!
0 Vote up Vote down
Micha's avatar - Go to profile

Micha · 690 weeks ago

Such a timely reminder. My fiancee and I usually start of 'bagging' each other as a bit of fun, but it usually ends up with my feelings getting hurt, and then I pout, sulk etc (all which you named above). I also get involved in the 'pay back' situation (you know, where he points out your socks are on the floor, so you point his out the next 20 times!). It's time I get tender hearted towards him, and treat him how I would like to be treated. Thanks!
2 replies · active 690 weeks ago
0 Vote up Vote down
Danielle's avatar

Danielle · 690 weeks ago

Can I suggest STOP "bagging"? (for us oldies, bagging is insulting or making fun of one another) It's not nice and it's not Godly. Surely you can find other ways to entertain yourselves w/o hurting each others feelings.
0 Vote up Vote down
Melissa's avatar - Go to profile

Melissa · 690 weeks ago

I was reading your blog(s), and I think it's great you are striving to learn more about God and Christianity. I'll be praying for you on your journey. :)
0 Vote up Vote down
linda's avatar - Go to profile

linda · 690 weeks ago

This reminds of an advice my mentor would always give me regarding to how to tell my husband something was bothering me:
1 time: wise.
2 times: only if necessary
3 times: foolishness from your side.

Why? Because by the third time your tone will be different and your heart won't be in the lovingkindness mindset. By the third time, he will do it to shut you up instead of learning something valuable, whereas if you quietly serve and love, he'll remember and change because it's right.

It's good for me this kind of advice cause it's hard for women to know when to shush. Remember: 3 times, your are being the fool!
Loved the post!
0 Vote up Vote down
Sheila's avatar

Sheila · 690 weeks ago

This was the home I lived in except my mother's bitterness was about her jelousy toward my father. The result was she developed Crohn's and lived a physically painful life with lots of complications that led to her death. She also drove one of her children away from church because of the "spiritually acceptable gossip sessions" of Bible studies and the mean spiritedness of the church as a result. Don't hold bitterness. It grows into a giant disappointment.
0 Vote up Vote down
Ameriah Sink's avatar - Go to profile

Ameriah Sink · 689 weeks ago

It is so easy to fall into some of these very same practices you warn against. Thanks for posting!
0 Vote up Vote down
Ferdinand Draper's avatar - Go to profile

Ferdinand Draper · 627 weeks ago

Yes, you have to talk things over and try to fix the marriage before finally diving into the last resort which is divorce. If there’s no way to save the marriage, and if the differences are irreparable, then just save the respect you have; do yourselves a favor and decide to end things right. The road may be bitter, but all’s well that ends well. Face the reality and the consequences, and from there, start living your life anew and be happy.

Post a new comment

Comments by

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)