Let all bitterness, and wrath, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:31,32
I believe divorce begins with bitterness. This is why the Bibles wisely advises against bitterness taking any root in your life ~
See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
Hebrews 12:15
According to Ephesians, bitterness starts by becoming angry and upset with your husband because of something he is doing or not doing. It can be small like watching too much television or putting his dirty clothes on the floor. It could be something big like looking at pornography or never showing love to you.
Then you start getting angry and letting him know how you feel by pouting, giving him the silent treatment, or yelling at him. You begin arguing and fighting all the time.
This then leads to evil speaking about him to anyone who will listen. You ask for prayer at Bible Study and tell all the women the details about how horrible your husband is acting. Then malice begins. He hurt you so you start hurting him. It is payback time. You start withholding sex or not talking to him at all.
You end up in as much sin as your husband by responding to the hurt he is causing you with bitterness. This bitterness ends up defiling your marriage, your children, and your home as the verse in Hebrews states.
My advice to you when your husband is doing something you don't like or is just plain wrong, discuss it with him several times then leave it in God's hands. Start practicing Ephesians 4: 32. Be kind to him. Be tenderhearted towards him. Forgive him as Christ forgave you. Win him without a word. Heap coals upon his head.
Let God convict him and change him. Your chance of getting divorced if you practice this instead of bitterness is much less. God's ways work.
