Monday, April 13, 2015

A Disciplined Home is a Joyful Home


Our society no longer values discipline. "If it feels good, do it." Many children rule the roost in their homes. Homes and marriages are a mess. We are suffering the consequences of the 60s when the younger generation decided to rebel against their parents' ways and forge a "new" path. Forget saving sex until marriage. Forget having mothers at home raising their children. If they want a career, they can simply leave their children in the care of others, pick up fast food on their way home, and demand that their husband help with the home and children. Our jails are overflowing with criminals. Policemen are being shot for no reason. Public schools and universities aren't safe places to be anymore. What is the answer?

Discipline is the answer. From the moment your child begins to crawl, begin training and disciplining them. Teach them right from wrong. Teach them to obey you the first time you tell them something. Teach them kindness, generosity, responsibility by keeping their rooms tidy and picking up after themselves, and teach them to respect authority. Plant God's Word deep into their hearts by speaking about Him often and reading His Word to them daily.

Model discipline to your children. Keep your home neat and tidy. Show respect towards your husband and allow him to lead.  Don't waste your time on the television, Internet and iPhone, if your home is in disarray. Play with your children. Teach them to work along beside you. Be careful what books, magazines and television shows that you watch and read. Go to bed at a reasonable time and wake up, ready to serve your family. Don't overeat. Eat food that nourishes your body. Spend daily time in God's Word. Help those in need. As one woman so aptly stated, "There is so much more work in the home other than housekeeping. In fact, before women were encouraged to leave the home there was no need for at risk teen programs, after school tutoring programs, etc. The home was the backbone of society. It was where children were taught how to function in society. When women left the home our country fell apart." 

"Oh, but I'm so undisciplined and can't do all those things you say." No, you can't by yourself but you can in Christ. He is the One who strengthens you and gives you the strength to walk in obedience to Him. The tree you see in the picture is our guava tree. We planted it 17 years ago, shortly after we moved into this home. It has produced a little bit of fruit each year. This year has been a bumper crop. The guavas are the size of large oranges; delicious and abundant. This should happen to your children also. As they live with you and you're training and disciplining them, you should see a little bit of fruit being produced. When they are 17 or 18 and their roots have grown deep into the soil of God's Word and they have been disciplined properly, they should produce bumper crops of fruit; ready to go out into the world and be salt and light.

When a home is a disciplined home, there is joy. Discipline brings joy and lack of discipline brings sorrow. Raise your children in a disciplined home and make sure you are joyful in the process so they can see that living for Jesus is the BEST thing in the world!

But have nothing to do with worldly fables fit only for old women. On the other hand, discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness.
1 Timothy 4:7

The root of the righteous yields fruit.
Proverbs 12:12

More posts in my Home Series.

Comments (17)

Loading... Logging you in...
  • Logged in as
Yesterday I was just thinking about how the generation of the 60s influenced today's values. My husband was just reading to me about the huge rise of Sexually Transmitted Diseases in senior citizens. That generation is catching them quickly these days. Also it is from them that I hear a lot of the feminist nonsense. About 10 years ago now, the population of stay at home mothers started to grow and they were the ones lamenting that fact the loudest. They said such things like, "after all we have sacrificed and worked to get women away from the home, these women don't appreciate it." (That was after they aired their frustrations that the younger generation dressed too femininely in the workplace). And I am sure they and their younger sisters in spirit, their homosexual brothers and all emasculated men are celebrating Hilary's entrance into the presidential campaign. She is the epitome of what they value. It seems like in many ways the generation of the 60s will leave the country in worse shape than they found it.
1 reply · active 519 weeks ago
They are absolutely leaving this country worse than they found it. The farther we get from God's principles, the worse it will get.
When most people hear the word discipline they feel like they are being abused. But in all reality it keeps one safe from much destruction. When someone does not know how to control their emotions or actions they have no discipline or instruction in place. We have given way too much freedom that has turned to hate and rebellion towards all authority. People think they can do whatever they want and there is no thought to the harm and sin it will produce for themselves and others, even into the next generations to come, if the Lord shall tarry!
Blessings, Roxy
1 reply · active 519 weeks ago
Yes, Roxy, discipline is a bad word today. Unfortunately, it is what is needed most!
This is well said. I appreciate your posts on this subject as it helps shed light on child training and discipline. We have a 4-year-old girl, and my husband works many hours. He's great, but will often spoil our daughter when he does see her. I feel like most of the discipline training rests in my shoulders as he'll let her get away with a lot more than I would. It has causes conflict in our marraige and I often feel like the bad cop while he's the good cop. I give her fresh fruit and veggies and whole foods to snack on, and then turn around to see him giving her junk. I bite my tongue and bear it, because talking about it with him doesn't seem to help much. I do enjoy playing with my daughter and giving her an occasional treat, but am by far the stricter parent. My husband says he has a lot of guilt for working so much. Is it okay to keep going like this? She is a really sweet, well-behaved and smart girl. But when she's around him her manners slip.
2 replies · active 519 weeks ago
Hopefully Katie, your husband will come to realize that after giving unconditional love to our children, and leading them to the Lord, the greatest gift we can give them is self-discipline. It is often those who live with constant regrets who lack discipline in their lives and they daily lament that they have not accomplished enough today, have not been in the Word today, have eaten things they should not, out of shape and overweight. A laundry list of regrets happens in lives that are undisciplined as they must live with the fact that they are not being the best they can be. The flesh rules them instead of their mind and spirit determining where they need to go in life and who they need to be on a daily basis. We all struggle with some areas of a lack o discipline, but the better trained we are, the more joyful and successful a life becomes.

You hang in there and teach your daughter good values that she can build upon. It won't be as easy without your husband's support, but you have her many more hours than he does. Also, don't feel like you can never let her eat treats and go overboard with your side of discipline because he is not doing enough of his part as well as you like. Real discipline does not mean being tough, just "consistency over time = discipline."

So be lovingly consistent and most of all explain things well to the child during training and after. I often would talk to my children after they were disciplined and apologized if they thought I was too tough on them, but explained that I wanted them to grow up to be well behaved and disciplined as adults.
Thank you for your insight! I appreciate it and will keep training her and being consistent. I'm glad to hear you say not to worry about me giving her a treat once in awhile, you're right... I do feel like I have to run an even tighter ship because my husband is more lenient than I think he should be.
You are so right! Thank you for spreading the word! Why are modern parents not taking responsibility for their own children? They let them run the show. And, they turn them over to strangers as early as possible, trusting that they'll develop morals and discipline on their own. Why are they having children if they don't wish to be involved with them?

To that point, my husband and I were at Target the other day, and we overheard a young couple nearby. They were registering for baby gifts and had added many packages of disposable diapers to the list... because the daycare said they needed to provide that many.
1 reply · active 519 weeks ago
It breaks my heart every time I walk next to the preschool down the street and hear little children crying. I have even heard newborns' cry. It's a strange world that we live in; parents are volutarily allowing other people to raise their children.
The problem on most fronts on this issue starts with the parents. Remember when we were kids we'd hear dont do as i do--do as i say. In other words parents are saying--i know we are behaving badly but you do as your told!!! Parents are not behaving and acting in a way that they want there kids to, then its complete hyprocritical and kids know that. How an we put expectations on our kids when parents are not leading by example. Here is an example of what i mean. Last Friday i was at chapters and there was young boy maybe 11-12 yelling and disrespecting his mom over a book he wanted. The boy even called his mom stupid. At the same time the mom was yelling at the dad over something as well. Its a vicious circle when parents show no respect for each other (especially in front of kids) and the kids will learn that is acceptable no matter how much you discipline them for being disrespectful themselves. Because they see it in the parents!! So sad!!!!!

My point to this is the discipline starts with the parents and accountability there, then there is a greater chance the discipline in the home will be effective. Just my 2 cents.
1 reply · active 519 weeks ago
Absolutely, Rob. We must walk the talk.
Oh, Lori, this post touched my heart. It is what I believe with all my heart as well. I was raised in a disciplined home. My parents were strict, our house was always very clean (and we had 8 kids!), my parents had an immaculate yard and my dad had a quarter acre vegetable garden and fruit trees. I remember my dad putting us to work picking fruit, moving the wood pile, painting, washing walls, etc. I always saw my parents hard at work and they taught us those lessons as well. What a blessing, I'm so grateful for parents who raised me this way. I hope I can pass the same example on to my children!
1 reply · active 519 weeks ago
What an amazing family you were raised in, Tiffany, and you continue to reap the blessings of it!
It is interesting that in some quite permissive homes the kids turned out to be disciplined like their parents and highly successful. This means that modeling correct behavior is far more important than even the training in discipline.

A big problem with being a permissive parent is the whining and complaining and misbehaving that the parents have to suffer through. Even if one could guarantee a disciplined kid when they are older by being permissive, why do parents want to have to put their kids in bed 8-10 times a night... and keep chasing the child around to make sure they don't break something when a few weeks being consistent will train a child?
I did not even know guava trees grew in America. The only time I have ever had them was in Africa.
1 reply · active 519 weeks ago
We were told that guava trees wouldn't do well here since they are very tropical. It has never gotten below freezing in our backyard so I am sure this is why it is doing so good!
I was raised by an Air Force flight line crew chief. He ran the house like he ran his flight line. I raised my children much the same way. When my older son went to boot camp, while the rest of the recruits were having fits over the drill instructor's yelling and the way they were treated, my son calmly told them that his mother could make the DI cry. As far as he was concerned, boot camp was a breeze. My kids have grown into self-disciplined adults. Now I see the next generation (their children) being raised much the same way. Even my 2 year old grandson knows to put his toys away when he's done with them and doesn't have to be told to do it.

Post a new comment

Comments by