Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Following in the Footsteps of Our Great-Grandmothers


Our grandmothers and great grandmothers lived in a time when it was socially acceptable and even encouraged to be keepers at home; devoted to their husbands and families. Nobody questioned their honorable vocation and they did not have to apologize or try to rationalize their reasons for wanting to be at home. It was definitely politically correct for them to be stay-at-home wives and mothers raising their own children. They would have never thought about letting someone else raise their children! Being steadfast at home was their important position in society. 

Everything has dramatically changed in the last 70 years. Now, when women decide they want to leave their careers to be home full-time, they have to have a well-thought out defense ready and deliver it with precision to the many objections of family, friends, neighbors and stranger. They will even get ridiculed for wanting to be "just" a housewife, when they could be spending their time doing something so much more "worthwhile."

Knowing that we follow in the footsteps of millions of women who have been keepers at home from the beginning of time should bring us much comfort and the fact that God commands young women to be keepers at home. We are NOT an aberration! This upside down society that we presently live in is the exception to the rules which have, up until now, held fast since God created Adam and Eve in the garden.

The most tragic thing to me is the fact that this current thinking has even invaded the church. We are not allowed to teach women to be keepers at home for fear of offending those who work. Since when are we not allowed to teach Truth in the church for fear of offending? Truth usually offends since it is contrary to the ways of the world.

We must always remember that we are strangers and aliens down here. Our purpose in life isn't to get rich and famous. It is to raise up a godly generation and to be salt and light to the world around us. God tells women how they can do this: be keepers at home. When we obey His Word, we adorn it and when we disobey it, we blaspheme it.

Dear women, hold FAST to that which is true and good and real. Carry on this time-honored way of life to the next generation. We may not change the world, but we can have a big influence on future generations through our own families and by being keepers at home.

Thus says the LORD, "Stand by the ways and see and 
ask for the ancient paths, Where the good way is, and walk in it; 
And you will find rest for your souls."
Jeremiah 6:16

Comments (36)

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I live in a conservative area within the Bible Belt, belong to a conservative, reformed church and have NO ONE other than my husband and daughter who hold fast to this teaching. It can be lonely and discouraging but I thank God for this place of Truth and acceptance on the vast internet. You are a blessing to me!

In His Grace,
Martha
1 reply · active 519 weeks ago
Amen! Amen! and Amen!
When we decided to close my childcare and preschool, my sister was was my worst critic. I didn't see it coming! Asking me if I had really thought it through wisely and how would I be able to provide things for my children... Etc.. Her list was long... Sadly it all came back to things. She even asked me if this was truly biblical??? I tuned out at that last question. Her life is polar opposite of ours... God hasn't left us homeless or foodless since the day I closed and we never look back!
1 reply · active 519 weeks ago
Lori,
Few weeks ago I quit my RN job to be home full time with my toddler son and sweetest baby girl. No one except my husband (and reading your site) supported my decision to quit. I decided I won't waste time justifying my choice to anyone. My only answer is "my husband and babies need me at home". Let them ponder it. I think if I always try to justify my choice then it's like saying "yes, you're right I need to be at work but...". I do miss my job at times, but motherhood is so much more rewarding and I know that I'm doing the right thing for my family.
2 replies · active 519 weeks ago
I don't regret my decision but the emotional abuse was unbearable some days with family constantly belittling me. I'm just praying everyday to get through the heat break I had to endure from my own family.
2 replies · active 519 weeks ago
I always felt convicted that God wanted me at home for my children... (and later the conviction expanded to include "for my husband"). And I've felt torn by seeing women leaving the home once the children went off to grade school, wondering if I should have done the same... but still I felt the conviction for "me" to stay at home. To be home for them; my children and now also for my husband. If I was rushing off to a "job", I'd be brushing him (my husband) and my children aside in the morning and at night... as my "job" would need me, and I would need MY money...

Now that my youngest is a junior in HS I again feel the outside pressure to do more (to have a paying job... though that pressure is not from my husband), but I still feel convicted that there is more to life than what a paying job can offer.

It is good that I am here for my husband, my child still at home, but I am also here for my grown children as well as my grandchildren.

I've read passages in the bible of how older women are to teach younger women.
but how can we older women do that if we are all consumed with the "all mighty dollar" and make no time for our younger women? And they see no value in us the older women...

This verse (matthew 6:34) gives me much peace about the worry money(or lack there is of money due to my not having a paying job) can bring... "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is it's own trouble."

It command me not to be anxious... to put the what if's about tomorrow aside.

God's got this!
2 replies · active 519 weeks ago
I also don't like when people say how "lucky," I am to stay home. It's not luck, we save and sacrifice and do without to make it work. I'm thankful that my husband works so hard to provide for us but it's definitely not luck.
2 replies · active 519 weeks ago
Hi you all dear sisters who are "stay-at-home" moms!

Last week, I went to the bank with my husband, and the clerk had to fill a form for us, and when she asked me what is my job, I replied that I'm a stay-at-home mom. She chuckled, and I said "Yeah, that's a funny job", and she said that is a very necessary job, that she did it for her 3 children, she is now a grandmother to an one year old baby.

I didn't know that some persons today continue to give a high value to us who stay at home.

Thank you so much dear Lori to have such perseverance in motivating us daily! And thank you all for your nice comments! Let's shine for God in our generation and for the next one :) !!!
1 reply · active 519 weeks ago
I love what I do as a mother and wife but I have noticed even recently from my MIL when I asked a question regarding someone taking her to DR appointments, it was pointed out that I would be doing it "since I don't work". Really what is it then that I do all day?
1 reply · active 519 weeks ago
Amen! I used too care so much at the opinion of friends and family, but after having to defend our choices do many times it doesn't bother me as much. We had family that was actually angry when we announced our 4th pregnancy. When our 4th was born we had 4 kids under 3 1/2. It really upset me, but I realized we ate only accountable to God and as long as we aren't relying on anyone else to raise our children I don't see how their opinion is valid. God willing we desire more children and ate outspoken that in will not be leaving the home to work... regardless of the many comments. I left a very good salary when we made the faith move to quit. My husband and I were just talking about this the other day from one of your prior post on how staying home makes your husband's life easier. I asked him what he thought about it and he said an astounding YES. He said that even when we are empty nesters or if we ever decided to send our kids to school he would not ever want me to to back to work. Having his support is all I need. When people criticize I feel sorry for them. I feel like I have the dream life and they are the ones missing out!

Also I find the finances an interesting thing. Those That have criticized because of us having a lower income are at least 20 years older than us and still have debt. We are loving on one income with 4 children and are on track to get the rest of our 40k in student loans to be paid off in 3 years. Then with what we will be able to start to invest in retirement in 4 years we will easily retire well off. A lot if this is thanks to Dave Ramsey. It's a myth you need two incomes to do well. It's more about handling the money you are blessed with God's way.
1 reply · active 519 weeks ago
This is such a great post and encouragement for young homemakers like myself! I've been home for almost nine years, I was blessed to have a Grandmother who was home fulltime, however I have heard many snide remarks from family and friends about being home fulltime. I am currently the only homemaker in my family and church, but have learned over the years that I am in God's will and have chosen to walk confidently in my journey.

It also helps to read blogs like this and to have liked minded women in my circle to encourage and learn from each other.😊

Jeremiah 6:16 is one of my favorite scriptures!
2 replies · active 519 weeks ago
I gave up my career of 13 years when I married at age 34. Not long after that I was halfway through a college degree when I learned I was pregnant. This was the first time since I was 14 that I was unemployed. I did not finish the degree and I've been a stay at home wife/mom ever since my 6 month of pregnancy. I've never had anyone question my decision to stay home for my husband & son. But I've had many people (men & women) ask me "What do you do all day?" or say "I wish all I had to do was clean the house and cook dinner!" Even my previous pastor questioned my daily activity (at that time I was so active in my church - my family attended two services a week, I taught 1st & 2nd grade kids church on Wednesday & Sunday mornings, I started (and ran) a women's ministry bible study class at a local women's Halfway House, I started and was captain of the church co-ed volleyball team, I ran the kids Christmas musical for years, helped with Youth Group, we attended a biweekly adult bible study home group, etc,,,,,. I was SO BUSY serving in my church I started neglecting my own family. And I was bitter toward that pastor for suggesting he couldn't possibly think of what I could be doing (my son was 8 months at that time and still nursing, too) But, I realized I was not happy about being a stay at home mom and had low self worth because I received no paycheck. It took me a long time to work out these feelings in me to where I am now. My husband's support was invaluable (we agreed to me being home). Support from people like you and others (like Dobson) whom preach on the value of a focused, dedicated mother has helped me to understand that just because I don't earn a paycheck doesn't mean I don't work hard every day.
Now- I'm proud to be blessed with a husband who can support us and whom follows God as best he can. I feel sorry for all the children who have working mothers (women who choose to work instead of staying home) because it does effect who they grow to become.
2 replies · active 519 weeks ago
I'm a happy stay at home mum to almost 9 children. And I don't care what people think . I don't need to justify my choices just to satisfy ther conscience. I refuse to justify myself to them. I just tell them to take their concerns to God. Not me. As long as my husband is happy and I know I am fulfilling Gods plan for my life by staying home then that's all that matters. Surprisingly, when I give my response most believers walk off in a huff. It's like they don't want to bring it up with God because they know He's going to tell them to mind their own business. Great article Lori!
Thank you so much for this post. My husband and I are blessed to have been married for nearly 4 years, but I just recently became a full-time homemaker. My husband loves coming home to a tidy house, clean clothes, a homemade dinner, and an adoring wife. He is very encouraging.

But, my mother and a few others have been wondering aloud about why I can't get a "real job" and about how I'm "wasting my potential". (I was on track to be a physics professor before this.) Sometimes I start to feel ashamed of my decision to be a homemaker. Sometimes I feel real regret that I gave up a life in academia. Sometimes I believe that I really am wasting my potential, because homemaking is just not something that people do anymore.

When I read your articles, I am reminded that there a lot of things that people "don't do anymore" that we should still be doing. So, thank you for encouraging all of us homemakers. I really, really appreciate it.
I have been a stay at home for 5 years now and have teenagers. Extended family is the worst for criticizing this decision. My kids need me more than ever now. We have soooo many fantastic conversations. This is where their character is really honed. If I worked I wouldn't have time for this and most likely they would be doing those conversations with their peers.

As for my response to the critics I just ask them if my children aren't worth it. Then I ask them are their children worth it? Wasting my time? What could be MORE important than taking care of my family?
Thanks for the article. I am a stay-home mom with 3 kids. My husband has never had a problem with my being home. His mother did the same and he sees it as normal. I feel ashamed when I see that look of people's face when I tell them what I do. Then later, I feel bad for being ashamed. I know I should be grateful to God for his great provision, being there for the wonderful kids he has given me, being able to make it to all their programmes at school and other activities. It's a blessing I should not take for granted. Yes, I've never been in the corporate world, but one thing I know for sure is.... I love housework and serving my family. I was made for this.... Thank You God.
1 reply · active 475 weeks ago
After going college, working as a legal assistant for many years, I decided to give my notice and be a housewife. My boss offerred me two raises and I declined. The office manager asked what it would take for me to stay. I told them nothing would. I had decided it was time for me to raise my children, attend to my home, chores and husband. Just like God intended me to do so. I received many critics from different people. But I stood firm in what I believed was God's will. I know live in a bran new house my husband built with God's help. Have lots of land and a farm. I don't regret anything except that I should have left my job sooner. I am not 40 years old yet and God has been with us always. We be never stopped tithing. We travel twice a year. I have4 children who I read the Bible to almost daily. I myself do read the Bible daily. It's my daily inspiration. I have taught myself to be a better cook, wife and mother thru out the years.God also blesses me for being submissive to my husband. My husband is also loving to the children and me. God is GREAT!!!! God is first in our home. God bless you all.
1 reply · active 475 weeks ago

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