Ken and I were watching the college basketball finals the other night. At one point, they scanned the crowd. I said to Ken, "All those gorgeous young people in the prime of life without adult supervision and alcohol flowing freely. What are parents thinking when sending their children into such a powerful keg of dynamite?"
I have been reading through the Old Testament recently and really enjoying it. I read this in Jeremiah 10 {The Amplified Version}, "Learn not the way of the {heathen} nations...for the customs and ordinances of the peoples are false, empty, and futile...But they are altogether irrational and stupid and foolish...But the Lord is the true God and the God of taught {the God Who is Truth}. He is the living God and the everlasting King." The Bible commands that parents "bring them {their children} up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
The Bible is full of warnings about the company we keep. Bad company corrupts good morals and the wise walk with the wise. To think that it is a good idea to send off our 18 year old hormone-filled children to institutions that are anti-God, teach heresy and lies, and are known for their drunkenness and sexual immorality is not very wise, in my opinion.
During the ages of 18 and 22 are the years that children either embrace or walk away from the faith. This is when they decide to take their parent's faith as their own or find a "new way." I am sure some of you went through Universities and your faith is intact but according to research and the Bible, you are taking a risk that is just not worth an eternal soul.
Yes, I have heard of some being led to the Lord by Christians on their campus and others having powerful ministries there but your children can also have powerful ministries all of their lives without going to Universities but learning the ways of the Lord and being sheltered from the immoral lifestyles of the heathen before the ages of 21 and 22. I am 56 years old and I would hate learning the things they learn and being exposed to the garbage that goes on there. It reminds me of this verse, "And delivered just Lot, vexed with the filthy conversation {lifestyle} of the wicked" {2 Peter 2:7}. So God rescued Lot out of the moral decay happening around him, yet we're suppose to send our children into the moral decay, plus go in debt to do it???
Three out of every four children from Christian homes in America walk away from the faith soon after they leave high school. The biggest cause of this turning away from the faith was said to be intellectual skepticism. A child grows up learning and accepting something of the Christian faith within their family and church, only to ditch it when confronted by the juggernaut of secularism in the media and the universities a few years later. {source} Please, parents, immerse your children in the ways of God and don't allow those who are anti-God educate your precious children.
Yes, I have heard of some being led to the Lord by Christians on their campus and others having powerful ministries there but your children can also have powerful ministries all of their lives without going to Universities but learning the ways of the Lord and being sheltered from the immoral lifestyles of the heathen before the ages of 21 and 22. I am 56 years old and I would hate learning the things they learn and being exposed to the garbage that goes on there. It reminds me of this verse, "And delivered just Lot, vexed with the filthy conversation {lifestyle} of the wicked" {2 Peter 2:7}. So God rescued Lot out of the moral decay happening around him, yet we're suppose to send our children into the moral decay, plus go in debt to do it???
Three out of every four children from Christian homes in America walk away from the faith soon after they leave high school. The biggest cause of this turning away from the faith was said to be intellectual skepticism. A child grows up learning and accepting something of the Christian faith within their family and church, only to ditch it when confronted by the juggernaut of secularism in the media and the universities a few years later. {source} Please, parents, immerse your children in the ways of God and don't allow those who are anti-God educate your precious children.
Logging you in...
Lady Virtue · 520 weeks ago
Lindsay Harold · 520 weeks ago
Ideally, you would have your children so well taught in apologetics that they have solid reasons for their faith and know the wrong ideas to beware of and why they are wrong. No matter where you send them, there is always a risk of bad teaching or bad influences. My dad got into drugs, alcohol, and sex at a Christian school. My mom was date raped on a very conservative Christian campus by a fellow student. You can't depend on always keeping bad people and wrong ideas away from your child. You have to give them the internal knowledge and belief that will help them fight evil themselves and teach them think critically and to beware of wrong ideas and bad company.
But, of course, if your child isn't ready to withstand the pressure and influx of wrong ideas at 18, it is important to prevent them from being immersed in a secular college environment that is full of false ideas. It is better to send them to a conservative Christian college or to keep them at home than to send them off unprepared. But they should be prepared to defend their faith on their own by 18, if you're doing it right.
helen UK · 520 weeks ago
In the UK today I am so sad by what I see in teenagers who try everything and are pulled down into the filth of the world. They are only young but are hardened and coarsened by what they have seen and done. I think alot of the trouble too is kids who have their own smarphones and also computers in their rooms. I think its so important to monitor children and not allow them access to gaming/social media sites etc. The older I get the less i want to watch and read anything profane and sexually immoral. I only have Christian radio on in the house now and I also listen to alot of sermons when I am at house, particularly John McArthur. My husband smiles if he comes home and I have sermons on, he says I must get so much teaching in every week and not just rely on the Sunday preaching at church!. If we watch anything on the TV its generally programmes from years ago!.
Blessings to you
Helen UK
elspethbreathinggrace 46p · 520 weeks ago
We have "split the difference", if you will. Our kids are all attending local state colleges while living at home. And truth be told, it is a VERY different experience from living on a college campus. Not one of them is eager to spend time there outside of classes, choosing to spend that time at home with us, or with good Christian friends. They still attend church regularly and still volunteer consistently and faithfully in the ministries at our church as well as spending a lot of time helping at home with their younger siblings.
18-year-olds are not children, and if they are, something has gone wrong in the parenting process long before the decision to attend or not attend college. Packing them off to live in a dormitory is one thing, giving them the freedom to chose their post high school education path while stressing the importance of refraining bad company is a sign of faith in their ability to make decisions and in the keeping power of the Holy Spirit.
I hate to show up and seem to offer dissent because I agree 100% with and appreciate the strong admonition against "sending off our 18 year old hormone-filled children to institutions that are anti-God, teach heresy and lies, and are known for their drunkenness and sexual immorality."
I just think we often underestimate how much control a student who doesn't live on campus has over how much they are exposed to. And they have a great deal of control. Even certain areas of study are far less filled with propaganda and philosophy than others. Trouble is more often than not one of those things easier to avoid than we acknowledge.
Katie · 520 weeks ago
Ken · 520 weeks ago
Many parents have a Calvinistic and somewhat fatalistic view of what will become of their child believing that God chooses who He wills, so if a child is lost to a secular and hedonistic world through college, it must be God’s choice. I see nothing in the whole of scripture except for a strong emphasis on human agency and responsibility to choose God. Certainly God saves who He wills, but is it not possible that God choice to save is predicated on His foreknowledge of who will be faithful, and believe? That He insists that those who become a part of his family choose to love Him, for only through such a choice can true love exist.
Even if a child is confirmed in their own ways of following Jesus for life, we as parent’s are still responsible to protect them from the world’s evil. If the Lord says, “Go into this university and be a light for me,” we send them, but not without strong protections of a Christian home to live in, and/ or accountability with fellow believers. And we let the child know that the first hint of falling into temptation and evil will have them back home, or at another university. The idea that just because they turned 18 means we just let them go off and make mistakes is so foreign to God’s Word and will, but it makes for great pop psychology that the church has accepted as truth. Show me one verse that tells a parent or a fellow believe to just let other believers go headlong into sin? No, as Lori points out, God says just the opposite, that we as the body of Christ are to protect and hold other believers, especially our children, accountable to live out the values they say they believe in.
elspethbreathinggrace 46p · 520 weeks ago
We don't belive this at all Ken. But we also are firmly against the idea of adultesence, where we exercise complete control over their life choices as if they were still 14 years old. We have taken pains to instill responsibility and decision making skills in our kids at an early age, as well as principles of the faith. While I agree that 18-year-olds are not automatically fully formed adults, they should be well on their way by 18, and not being treated as children.
Show me one verse that tells a parent or a fellow believe to just let other believers go headlong into sin?
This is where we will have to agree to disagree, because I do not equate a few hours a week on a college campus, with 3/4 of your life spent in a safe environment as the equivalent of going headlong into sin. I don't see how we are to live the gospel before or share the gospel with unbelievers whilst living in Christian cocoons and again, if an 18-year-old is not strong enough to live and share the gospel amongst unblievers, particularly while living a largely sheltered life save a few classroom hours per week, something has gone terribly wrong.
I think the problem I am having here is this assumption that given the vast flexibility and variety of ways one can obtain higher education apart from the traditional dorm lifestyle, that only a Christian education institution is acceptable to the Christian.
We have evolved a great deal in our 21 years of parenting, and as it relates to minor children, we are 100% on board with your views, and have taken hits from fellow Christians who label us "extreme". They label us "extreme" for keeping our kids at home while attend college.
But when it comes to young adults, who have been trained in the faith and taught strong values and character, we simply believe that there isn't any one size fits all approach to this issue. Arguing the merits of a college degree is one thing, and I can appreciate much of what Dennis Prager and like minded people have to say on the matter. I have some concerns about the "college for all" mentality as well.
But that's a different issue from insisting that any college that isn't explicitly Christian in focus is the equivalent of "going headlong into sin."
AMIII · 520 weeks ago
I like your word "juggernaut". It will take the strength of a legion of angles to keep one from getting their clothes singed from the consuming fire that is the college campus. From the president of the university down to the dorm hall monitor it is all there to lock you in to the realm of the ungodly.
Not to be sexist, but if you are an attractive young lady (even if you stay at home) you are going to have a hard time keeping yourself from the temptations that you will get from the attention of other ungodly men (i.e. athletes, professors, frat boys, administrators, etc.) You will have to spend 1.5hrs in the Word for every 1hr with college activities to keep from getting sucked in.
Terry Covey · 520 weeks ago
God has given us all lots of options for living this life - and satan offers the wicked things of this world to lure us in. As parents, we are commanded to train up our children and offer protection and counsel. When and where and how we do that is the age-old question. God will use our obedience as well as our mistakes to draw us to Him. I can only pray we will learn to listen and heed the Spirit as we raise our children.
FYI, five of our ten children are living successful and productive lives without a college education. Our goal is to offer them a safe environment in which to develop their identity in Christ and to define what they believe and how God wants to use them by developing their individual talents. Our experience shows that this lifestyle has built confidence as they developed, and sustains them as they venture out in the world to make their way. Offering lots of variety in experience and plenty of space to explore and grow individually has made them unique, independent, and unstained from the world. You can read our story here - http://momsmanylessons.com/breaking-the-mold-for-...
There is no mold, but God certainly protects us by offering plenty of cautions throughout Scripture. We give glory to God for what He has done so far and only trust Him to provide whatever He has in store for our children's future.
Thanks again, Lori.
wendytamaryoung 37p · 520 weeks ago
Jill York · 520 weeks ago
Jo · 520 weeks ago
I did my Sociology degree via distances education (partly because I had a young baby and it was the best option at the time). This is certainly a great way to study and its much safer. It is an option that many adults use as it fits better into their home life/work.
Anthea · 520 weeks ago
PS Student debt can often tie a young married couple into delaying motherhood, or forcing the wife to go out to work full time. I am v concerned about this for our children. We live in the UK, and I am going to advise them to do all they can to graduate debt-free, if they attend college.
PPS We have no Christian universities in the UK, except Bible training colleges.
Amy · 520 weeks ago
Secondly, I find the statistics of young people leaving the church quite disturbing. Here's what I wonder, though. What are the parents of the 25% doing right? What makes their children continue on? 25% isn't a big number, but it's too big to simply be a fluke. I want to know how they are imparting their faith so that their adult children are carrying it on.
Finally, and this is just something that I always wonder, not something I saw in the post or the comments, but if a child is too immature to withstand the pressures of college, whether peer pressure or teaching, how are they mature enough to enter into the holy commitment of marriage at that age? I know many will see these things as unrelated, but in my mind, a person who cannot claim their faith as their own and live it out is hardly someone who is mature enough to become a husband or wife.
As an aside, I think college is a great option for many people, but I definitley do not believe that everyone should attend college. I just think there is a lot to the discussion that we don't always consider.
Lori Alexander 122p · 520 weeks ago
Claire · 519 weeks ago
Also, as someone who grew up steeped in the evangelical, Calvary Chapel, Southern Baptist culture, going to Christian school was one of the biggest things that lead me to question and ultimately reject the faith that I had been brought up in. Learning about the history of Christianity, studying and comparing "our" (conservative evangelical) views with "their" (progressive, sometimes secular) views led me to conclude that their views made more sense, no matter how much I prayed, read my Bible, or sought out godly counsel. I was an atheist for a while, but now I think the closest thing I can call myself is a non-theistic, non-supernaturalist Christian. (I've been reading The Heart of Christianity by Marcus Borg, and a lot of it really resonates with me.)
So, I suppose my main point in all of this is that if someone is going to party or leave the faith, it doesn't matter if they go to a Christian school or not. Parents and other early influences can try to guide their children along what they believe is the best path, but part of the responsibilities and freedoms of growing older is determining your own life path, even if that is incongruous with what direction you were started out on.
T.J. · 519 weeks ago
T.J. · 519 weeks ago