Thursday, April 2, 2015

Stay in the Honeymoon Phase Forever!


Jessa Duggar and Ben Seewald were married on television Tuesday night. It was precious! They kept discussing that they were finally going to get to have their first kiss and I kept thinking, "That's the easy part of your first day of being married!" There was so much innocence and joy. It's simply refreshing to watch! Just before Jim Bob walked Jessa down the aisle for the rehearsal dinner he asked her, "Are you ready for this through sickness and health, riches and poverty?" What a great question for a father to ask his daughter! Divorce will never be a part of their vocabulary for what God has joined together, let no man put asunder.

Jill Duggar is married to Derrick Dillard and pregnant with their first baby. She couldn't bend over to paint her toenails so Derrick did it for her. He then stated, "We are going to be in the honeymoon phase forever!" I LOVED it! Jim Bob and Michelle sure seem like they are still in the honeymoon phase. Ken and I and my sisters with their husbands are more in a "honeymoon phase" than ever before! My children all seem to still be in the honeymoon phase. My parents are more in love than ever before and they've been married over 61 years! Jim Bob's mother was married for 49 years and said the secret to a happy marriage is sacrifice. It is all so refreshing, like drinking from a clean, clear stream completely free from pollution.

On my Facebook page yesterday I wrote, "John MacArthur said women should NOT watch soap operas {and I would add Dancing with the Stars, The Bachelor, etc.} because they are ungodly and immoral. God commands we dwell on the lovely and the good for a reason. Are you watching anything ungodly or immoral? 'Be careful little eyes what you see...People never crumble in a day..It's a slow fade when you give yourself away; It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray; Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid..'" {Lyrics from an amazing song by Casting Crowns.} One woman commented, "We don't watch TV for the same reason we don't drink from the toilet!" I thank the Lord that there are shows like the Duggars that model a truly godly family completely free from any ungodliness and immorality. I tape almost everything I watch on TV so I can speed through the commercials!

Back to the title of this post; what is the "honeymoon phase?" It's when you love each other deeply. You don't argue. You love being together and enjoy each other's company. You love kissing and being intimate with each other. You want to please each other. You let the little things go since they don't bother you. You still love looking into each other's eyes. You're still IN LOVE! Emily, my daughter-in-law, told me she gets annoyed when people tell them the honeymoon phase won't last to which she responds, "Well, the honeymoon won't end if I have anything to say about it!" 

What makes it easy to stay in the "honeymoon phase" and stay there until "death do you part?" Doing marriage God's way. Husbands loving and providing for their wives. Wives submitting and obeying their husbands, plus pleasing, serving, loving, respecting, and forgiving their husbands. Building up their home instead of tearing it down with their own hands. Continuing to be a cheerful and thankful wife. {Yes, I made the longer list for the wives since they are who I teach! Plus, the less expectations we have on our husbands, the better.}

God commands us to stay in the "honeymoon phase," Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth {Proverbs 5:18} Yes, this verse is directed to husbands but we must continue to rejoice in the husband of our youth whom God has graciously blessed us with and stay in the honeymoon phase forever! After all, I am commanded by God to teach young women to LOVE their husbands.

Comments (24)

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Loved this :). I always say it's like my husband and I are dating again. We've been married 15 years :)
My husband and I have been married almost 5 years now and we are still in the honeymoon stage. We're crazy about each other, we enjoy pleasing each other, we don't argue, and we don't sweat the small stuff. It's great! We love being married.
I think that this is good, as long as we dont have too many expectations about what this should look like. I could (and have in the past) become discontented because I am a touchy feely type and my husband is not. If I think of the honeymoon phase as being all lovey dovey, I may start to think my marriage is not good enough. When in reality the deepness of my love with my husband has only grown deeper and deeper. More then I could have ever realized, to a point you cant undrstand when in a true honeymoon phase. We are at a point where we can rest in eachothers love, and feel safe through good and bad. I know what youre saying, that we should love eachother passionately. I just think some of us need to be careful if the passion doesnt look the same as it did in the beginning. It canstill be amaizing, and evenbetter, deeper, more fulfilling then the honeymoon.
1 reply · active 520 weeks ago
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Lady Virtue · 521 weeks ago

I'm still a marriage newbie (just a couple of years), but in reading this, it seems that it really does get better and sweeter with time. My parents will be married for 47 years this coming June!

It's sad that so many couples throw in the towel. Marriage isn't always easy, but they are cutting off God's blessings when they don't wait for Him to sanctify them both and transform them into greater Christlikeness.

Great post, Lori!
I'm so thankful I found your blog! You are such a Godly encouragement! Thank you for all you share on here!!
Rachael Milne
Everyone should be in the honeymoon phase all the time! Just like in Biblical times!
I think we're still in the "honeymoon phase". We've been married for 7 years in May and together for over 11. He's a GREAT guy and I'm so thankful to be married to him!
While I could not honestly say we have "stayed" in the honeymoon phase, I can testify that our gracious God keeps bringing us back. I believe it starts in our thoughts. Like others have said, letting the little things go; but also, being willing to forgive the big things and move on, move forward. My husband introduced me to the song "Broken Together." Sometimes that's the ticket. Lean on each other through hardships, rather than pushing away. We've been married over 20 years now. <3
What a sweet post. :) I like to think we are still in the honeymoon phase after ten years, but I think things are even better now than our newlywed days. Different, but better! It's hard to act like honeymooners when you're cleaning up throw up or unclogging toilets, haha. But what I love is that my husband and I can laugh with each other in these situations and are best friends and partners first and foremost.
I just looked up his sermon "Gods pattern for wives" and was just blown away at how "worldy" my thinking has been. I really broke down in my disappointment but God used this to highlight some things I was doing that is not ok. I look forward to your posts and may God continue to use you!!
I loved the post Lori!! I wish I had been able to gain such wisdom back when I married in 1988. My parents surely did not provide and example of what marriage should be........I am thankful for a godly man that does not want Dancing With The Stars on our tv ~ he has always said that he doesn't want to watch that "filth". :-)
LOVED this show! I also recorded it and have watched it twice. It's just so sweet, pure and beautiful. We will always have TV as my husband enjoys it, but we are careful what we watch and allow our kids to watch! I've been married for almost 8 years. While you grow at a deeper comfort level with each other after living together for awhile I feel so blessed to be in a loving relationship. I still feel like a newlywed at times just because the 8 years have been fairly easy. I feel life we haven't been married long, yet statistically almost half are divorced by 8 years. I can't imagine even considering that.
I love the Duggars and what they stand for! i also love reminder that love isn't always a feeling, but a choice we make every day. Thank you for always giving us encouragement.
After almost 27 years of marriage, we are still in the honeymoon phase! And always will be! We love each other deeply and genuinely love to spend every moment together! We enjoy watching the Duggars and the Bates shows together with our children. They are wonderful role models on how to live a godly life.
We're coming up on our 3rd anniversary this month. Definitely still in love and lovin' the kisses. We have an adorable 2-year-old daughter. I got pregnant the second month after our wedding, and I can honestly say having a baby right away was a bonding time for me and my husband. My husband and I met through match.com, and we got married 5 months to the day after we met. Needless to say, we have changed and grown a lot since meeting each other. It has been a lesson in self-control to adapt to each other's changing needs. Praise God we are falling ever deeper in love with each other and with our God.
http://aspergerspluschristian.blogspot.com/2015/0...
I just found your blog and it's been so encouraging for me. My husbannd I from the beginning have argued and tried to change each other. I admit I've tried to change him :( I never feel like there was a honeymoon phase. We became pregnant a month after we were married and it always seemed to be a struggle! I grew up in church and always could rely on the Lord, but my husband didn't have that. We rushed into marriage and even though I clearly heard God tell me this is your husband it's been so hard. My faith has always been there, but I suffer from insecurity and depression. My husband considers me a friend and not much else. He doesn't find me attractive and jokes a lot about his next wife......we had a couple of really rough years. God brought us through them. Not without scars and hurting are 2 kids 9 and 15 :( I guess I just want some encouragement that after 16 years of marriag l
Continued- I just want to know that after 16 years in such a rocky unequaled yoked marriage there can be joy????
2 replies · active 520 weeks ago
Yes, Becky, for the joy of the LORD is your strength! Cling to Him, your Rock. Be in His Word daily and find godly friendships. Fill your mind with the good and the lovely. You can have joy in the midst of any storm.
Great words. That is wisdom. That's it. Walk the Word. Psalm 107:22
Find that mentor, or people who you can text or call to pray with you or ask for help and even pray with you or for you. Practice makes perfect. It becomes easier and easier to practice smiling and forgiving the more you do it each time. See and read and pour yourself into God's Word and Created to be his help meet book by Debi Pearl for help on remolding old and bad habits. The created to be his help meet journal is a vital tool to have along with the Creates book. Blessings. Think on what Christ has done for you. Forgive yourself. Make a conscious effort to forgive. Think on all God has done for you. YOU can do all things in Christ who strengthens you! If you have forgotten to have a life of your own, find out what you love and do it. Two of mine is exercising and dancing. I have been prioritizing that in my life. ;)
Also, KNOW YOUR MAN. See Created to be his help meet book for more on knowing your man. Even Preparing to be a help meet by Debi Pearl has helped me.
I learned that the honeymoon phase would last as long as I didn't want anything to be a certain way. I learned to be quiet when we had electrical cords all over and a crawling baby, and knickknacks everywhere that I wanted to get rid of. But when they were ready to start school, I needed things differently and that didn't fly over well. We now have a seventh grader, a sixth grader, a fourth grader, a second grader, a kindergartener and a preschooler, and after trying to get what I needed in house furnishing arrangements for homeschooling, I finally just got what I needed myself over time from "scratch and dent" and second hand stores or from friends getting rid of things. I tossed out all unnecessary items and made up the family room the way I needed it in order to homeschool (my husband told me I was going to homeschool and no other schooling possibility was even allowed to be considered). My marriage is in shambles and we don't love each other anymore. We'll be married fourteen years in June. For a while, I tried what I could until I burned out and realized I was wasting my children's formative years trying to salvage something that couldn't be salvaged. I'm really glad, though, that others have had a different experience.
I am getting in very late on this one but I know about being careful what you watch. Many years ago...back in the 80's, I got stuck on Days of Our Lives. So infatuated with it and one actor in particular that I nearly cost us our marriage earlier than it ended up ending because I was happy with nothing he did because he did nothing like this particular actor. Thank heavens I saw finally what I was doing and stopped ti. cold turkey quit watching that show. I learned that lesson!
1 reply · active 520 weeks ago
I was hooked on soap operas early in our marriage also, Desiree, and when my 5 year old daughter began watching them with me was when I stopped cold turkey!
This post is great. That's true. We can stay in the honeymoon phase by doing things such as appreciating our husbands, loving them, smiling at them even when things are not right, and thanking God for them, daily. We have all we need in Christ. God can be anything we need! If it's a husband, then he can be that when our husbands are not. Oh, Father, let us see how much you long for us to love you with all our minds, with all our hearts, with all our strength, with all our soul. Not our will, but Yours be done. The truth sets us free. God you set us free. Glory to God! Let our hearts desire be to fear YOU. To walk in the Fear of God be realizing that some day soon it will be our last to give you all the glory for your glory! Your love, oh, Lord, for us is so deep and sufficient and real.

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