Thursday, April 16, 2015

Do You Love Your Husband More Than Your Children?

Ayelet Waldman caused quite a stir among women ten years when she said, "I love my husband more than my children!" She went on to say they enjoyed a passionate sex life  "If you focus all of your emotional passion on your children and you neglect the relationship that brought that family into existence...eventually, things can go really, really wrong...So many women today have become so focused on their children, they've developed these romantic entanglements with their children's lives and the husbands are secondary. They're left out." She went on to say that they have raised happy, contented, successful children.

It is so much easier to love our children than our husbands but let me tell you, those children grow up and leave and then you are left alone with your husband. I have seen couples who didn't raise their children with much discipline but the wives LOVED their husbands. Those children have grown up to be great adults!

I always have told women the greatest gift you can give your children is to love their daddy deeply. It discourages me when I see all pictures mothers are posting about their children on Facebook and them with their children but none with their husbands. Then I LOVE seeing mothers posting romantic pictures of themselves with their husbands! Far too many women prefer their children over their husbands, yet they were the ones who chose their husbands to make their babies!

Many mothers make their children the center of their universe. All of their energy and time goes into taking care of them. When children see their mothers making their fathers a priority, the children love it. Their greatest sense of security lies in the healthy relationship between mother and father. I have read blogs where the wives are always serve their husbands, first at dinner to show the children how much they honor and respect their husband, then throughout the day with joy, laughter and smiles. Children feel a sense of deep dread when they sense their parent's relationship deteriorating.

We must always remember that we were first created to be our husband's help meet. This is our primary role when we marry. I failed in this area. I thought Ken was a big boy and could take care of himself, and he did, which removed far too many connections between us. I listened to all the lies of society and around me instead of what God's Word plainly spells out. For some reason, all those verses about headship, submission, obedience, pleasing, etc. were hidden to me. Blindness comes when doing things the world's ways. Don't make the same mistake I made, and if you have, begin with me to make your husband your first priority. 

I have many a woman come to me in tears of despair crying out for an answer to restoring their relationship with their husband that is on the rocks, or going no where. The answers are always the same; get in God's Word daily and do what it calls you to do, and to be. Then go to your husband and ask him if he will forgive you for the years of  famine you have helped to create in your relationship. Ask him to gently coach you in all areas of what God calls you to be; a submissive, godly and chaste wife who puts her husband first and your household second, knowing that this is what pleases the Lord, and will restore your heart and marriage.

And the LORD God said, 
It is not good that the man should be alone; 
I will make him an help meet for him.
Genesis 2:18