This is a topic that greatly offends women. Most women write posts defending women having careers, leaving their children in preschool and working all day outside of the home by calling women who disagree with them as participating in "mommy wars." I am not into "mommy wars" or any other kind of "war" with women; I try to teach what the Bible has to say about this whole topic and what is eternally best for them and their families.
I have always loved Nancy Leigh DeMoss' teachings and I love a lot of what she has to say in this chapter. However, I disagree with some of it. When she writes that the Proverbs 31 woman was into "real estate deals" as if she worked outside of the home because she bought "a field" and was into "entrepreneurial ventures" because she planted on it; Ruth was into agriculture since she "gleaned wheat" to keep herself and mother-in-law from starving; using this verse in Job 42:15 "In all the land no women were found so fair as Job's daughters; and their father gave them inheritance among their brothers" to say women were "financial planners." I believe all of these to be great stretches to say that women had "jobs" in the Bible. Besides, I believe it is always best to look at God's commands to women in the New Covenant, instead of examples of women who were in the Bible.
However, I believe the thrust of the whole chapter on this subject to be right on but it is a fine line many teachers of the Word try to walk on in today's climate so as not to offend women! I love these questions Nancy asks, "What is God's view of work?" "How do I choose which work receives the most time and attention at this stage in my life?" "Am I giving my home the focus and priority God wants it to have?" And "am I determining the value of my work based on earthly or heavenly economics?"*
If most women are to answer these questions honestly if they are raising children, I can't imagine any woman coming to the conclusion that spending her time, talents and energy shouldn't be spent on disciplining and training her children; being a help meet to her husband; keeping her home neat and tidy and preparing nourishing food for her family. I don't see how a woman can have a job outside of the home and attend to all of these important tasks at the same time without shortchanging any of them.
When Nancy writes about older women who are empty nesters, she said, "Are these women mindlessly marching to the world's drumbeat? Or are they prayerfully considering how they might invest more of their time in acts of mercy or in discipling and encouraging younger women? Women's ministry leaders have shared with me their frustration that the empty nesters in their churches- who are greatly needed and have so much they could offer- have so little time and availability to invest in younger women."* Amen!
I realize that some women have no choice but to work; either their husband insists upon it, they are single mothers or their husband is disabled. Like I have written before, Paul writes in two of these circumstances that other family members and/or the church should provide for the women who have no husband to provide so they can be at home raising their children but many don't have this need filled so they must work. I encourage you to continue to pray about it and then leave it in the Lord's hands to work it out for with God ALL things are possible!
Finally, this is how Nancy and Mary describe what a young man looking for a wife should look for as a summary of the Proverbs 31 woman ~
Don't marry a lazy, self-indulgent woman of leisure. Look for a girl who is multi-faceted, capable and industrious- one who isn't marrying you for your money. Make sure she has a serving, compassionate spirit and isn't afraid to get her hands dirty. And make sure she's the kind of woman who'll make her God, husband, kids and home a priority!*
Older women teach young women to be...keepers at home.
*True Woman 201: Interior Design—Ten Elements of Biblical Womanhood, ©2015 by Mary A. Kassian and Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Used with permission of Moody Publishers. You can buy the book HERE.
