Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Does Your Husband Want to Celebrate Halloween?


Yes, I have heard all about the wicked origins of Halloween. When I was in college my sophomore year, my best friend and I studied the origins of Halloween and decided not to celebrate it anymore. So while all of our suite mates were out celebrating Halloween every year, we would stay in our rooms or go out for dinner. Then when I married, for the first few years, we took the children to Disneyland or out to eat instead of celebrating Halloween. We were doing this because I was convicted about it, not Ken. As the children got older, they wanted to celebrate it so I let them. Then as I learned about submission and obeying my husband, I saw how wrong I was in this area of leading my family, instead of respecting Ken enough to follow his leading.

At the big Calvary church we attended for five years, our Pastor exhorted the congregation not to be those Christians who hid behind closed doors during Halloween but use this time to be light to a dark and decaying world. Use it for good as an opportunity to meet the neighbors, give them a friendly smile and a word of encouragement, if we could. He felt this would be much more productive for Christians rather than hiding behind closed doors.

Therefore, I believe the question I need to be asking women is not "Do you celebrate Halloween?" but "Does your husband want your children to celebrate Halloween?" since they are the head of the home! One woman asked me if a wife should obey if she believes something is evil and against God's ways. Yes, if it is abortion, murdering someone, robbing a bank, or watching pornography with him but not dressing up your children as cowboys and princesses and going from house to house saying "Trick-or-Treat." {From the last post I wrote about Halloween, I know many of you believe it is evil for a Christian to celebrate Halloween and I respect your view, but I don't intend for this post to be a discussion on the merits of Halloween. If you're undecided about celebrating Halloween, please go back to that post and read all the comments in the comment section. Thank you!}

You see, this can be a slippery slope for women. Many women believe they are more spiritual than men. There was one woman in the chat room who didn't believe her husband was a spiritual leader because he didn't hold family bible readings and prayers. I asked her if he worked hard, provided for the family, a man of integrity, faithful to her and loved her children. She answered "Yes!" to all of them and then I told her she was married to a spiritual leader. He was showing his children by his life and through his actions that he was a spiritual leader. Actions speak louder than words, many times. She was so happy and relieved that she told me she had tears streaming down her face.

Women can use the excuse to disobey their husbands over homeschooling, whether or not to have a family bed and/or spank the children, working outside of the home thus failing to be a "keeper at home" and many other areas if you teach them they can disobey their husband if they disagree with them on the grounds that something is wrong or evil, in their opinion. They are not allowing their husbands to lead their families and wives. The Bible commands women to win their "disobedient" husbands without a word by their godly behavior, NOT by going their own way and following their own convictions.

Therefore, if you are deeply convicted about Halloween or anything else, share your thoughts with your husband and then give him the freedom to decide what is best for your family. Follow him cheerfully and if you believe he is wrong, give it to the Lord in prayer and allow the Lord to convict and change his mind while you work on becoming a godly woman! If you are right and your husband is wrong, the Lord is very good about convicting him and often times, He will use a wife's godly behavior to be the vehicle which He uses to convict!

Finally, as Robyn, who has a blog of her own, in the chat room commented about this whole issue, "I handle Halloween the way I would handle any other subject that we disagree on. It is used as an opportunity to exercise submission. 1 Peter 3 calls us to precisely this kind of surrender so that God can step in and do the teaching as I humbly step back." Amen!

For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
1 Peter 3:5, 6

***Yes, I know all of the evil roots of Halloween and as I said in my last post, I don't like anything about it but I like the idea from this article on the topic, for we know that greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world {1 John 4:4}.

To counter the evil influence of Halloween, we need to join together and celebrate the reality of the heroic efforts of Christian saints over the evil in their day. Many leaders in the past -- and present -- have fulfilled the mandate of destroying the works of the devil through their sacrificial commitment to Christ and His Kingdom.

Too, rather than “hide” in the face of evil, we should unabashedly and boldly create an alternative that is positive and uplifting; that celebrates good over evil and the triumph of God over Satan. We need to provide an environment that also makes room for heaps of fun while using the day as a “teachable moment” to celebrate God’s protection, provision and purpose for our lives.

Comments (23)

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Excellent article! Oh, the peace our homes would experience if we approached disagreements with our husbands in this way! So thankful that after so many years of marriage, I am finally in this last year or so experiencing the peace which comes with true submission! The peace was always there.... waiting.... I just needed to lay down my will and embrace God's design for wives! Don't get me wrong! I need to die to self DAILY, but it gets easier the more you do it! I IMPLORE any lady reading this.... LET YOUR HUSBAND BE THE LEADER IN THE HOME! God created him to lead, but a man often will sacrifice his role to appease his wife. Trust me... It took me over 25 years of marriage to learn this. PTL for the patient man He created in my husband!
1 reply · active 493 weeks ago
hank you, Shelah! Yes, we must allow them to lead, even when we disagree with them.
Yep. This is truth. My husband is a spiritual leader and I don't want to celebrate but he said we are and I trust God and my husband.
1 reply · active 493 weeks ago
God will use your obedience for good!
Lori, I am not sure how I even found your website, but I have enjoyed it for a while now. I appreciate the way your words are used by The Lord to challenge me in my walk with Him. I appreciate your commitment to following the Word and your insights into how it translates into our daily lives. Thank you for this ministry!!!! The Lord has wrecked our lives in the most beautiful ways in the last couple of years. It is a most unlikely story of how our family has a music ministry with our 9, 11, and 13 year old daughters....especially since my husband and I didn't grow up playing music. Here's the link to the newest song our girls have written and I think you will enjoy it, especially since you are a woman after The Lord's heart. I'd love to hear what you think about it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEIi6Gww2WI May The Lord richly bless you and your family! Again, thank you so very much for your ministry of words. I look forward to reading much more from you! You are in our prayers!
2 replies · active 493 weeks ago
It is beautiful, Kathryn! I'm not musical talented at all so I'd make a horrible judge on the singing shows but it sounds good to me. Thank you for your encouragement. Bless you as your seek to follow the Lord.
Thank you!! Have a blessed Day!!
One thing everyone can agree on though, is that family is a large part of any holiday celebration.

Issues like this have a way of wrapping around the nerve wires of a woman’s mind and prohibiting her {and in turn, her family} from enjoying the holidays at all. If we can read ‘The Little Engine That Could’, we can trick or treat and talk about Santa. These things are trivial and even if they were not, our husbands are the decision makers. I know it’s tough to obey when the rubber meets the road and we actually have to obey, but that is how this goes.

Start some traditions like passing out tracts for Halloween or for Christmas bring the biblical recollections of Christ’s birth into your child’s mind. Sing Christmas hymns, read the story from the gospels over dinner on Christmas Eve and have full faith that God knew what he was doing when he placed husbands in charge and gave them the authority to make decisions.

Things like dressing up for Halloween, Santa, too much t.v. exposure, which friends are permissable, etc. are just not our place to decide.

Holidays are about fellowship and we are breaking that fellowship when we dwell on things like this and don’t trust our husbands will make a good decision. Husbands tend to want to recreate their cherished childhood memories for their kids while women tend to react out of fear and so they want to just shut down the holiday altogether but focusing on fellowship and family would be such a win-win.
1 reply · active 493 weeks ago
Thank you, Psalm1Wife! Yes, we are commanded to follow our husbands and we must always remember one of my favorite verses, "Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:21. We can overcome this holiday with good by being salt and light in the darkness and pointing the lost to Christ any way that we can.
HappyHomemaker's avatar

HappyHomemaker · 493 weeks ago

Once again, your post comes after a personal situation that is similar. I had told our son he couldn't do this certain thing and I have been adamant about it for awhile now. Last night, my husband said he can. While I disagree, I didn't say anything and just let it go. Amazingly, it didn't nag at me and I now realize it wasn't my decision to make in the first place and that's why I have peace with it. Its always reassuring when I come here and read something similar. Thanks so much Lori for all you do!
1 reply · active 493 weeks ago
You're welcome, HappyHomemaker. Yes, being the follower isn't always easy but our husbands actually have the more difficult role. As our authority, they are responsible for the decisions they make so we must faithfully pray that they will make wise and good decisions.
I realize that Christian participation in the totally innocuous American cultural celebration of Halloween isn't the point of your post, but I thought this article might interest you nonetheless:
http://catholicism.about.com/od/Halloween/p/Hallo...
2 replies · active 493 weeks ago
There is no article when you click on the link, Genevieve.
The article comes up fine for me. It's entitled "Halloween, Jack Chick and Anti-Catholicism".
When we disagree on something like this, I defer to our pastor's teachings and leading. I have to give space for my husband to submit to his spiritual authority and live by his convictions just as much as I do to mine. It's not easy for me to 'let go' , but it's necessary for my soul. I'm still working on it!
1 reply · active 493 weeks ago
That is an interesting and potentially wise concept Ruth as the scriptures do say, "Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account" (Hebrews 13:17).

My question would be if your pastor is aware each time you are unsubmissive to your husband on non-essential issues like Halloween and in turn would he want you going against your husband's desire to have the kids dress up and playfully wander the neighborhood for candy, just because he gave a blistering sermon about the evils of Halloween.

If one is to follow the leadership of a pastor over a husband, the person they are supposedly following should at least know about it and be given the opportunity to coach a wife that his desire is that she "submit to her own husband in every thing" (Eph 5:24).

I see a big difference between a pastor teaching his convictions from the pulpit concerning peripheral ideals like celebrating Halloween, and this same pastor's willingness to be used as a wife's response to a husband as to why she will not submit to his leadership at home.

You certainly have a Biblical argument for not submitting to your husband on any case that your pastor disagrees with your husband about, but I would want to know if indeed the pastor is siding with you over your husband in such specific cases, or if the pastor may not simply say, "I want all wives to submit to the leadership of their own husbands on all areas that are not clear sin issues."
Great article at the perfect time! Our son is 3 and I want to go trick or treating as we have in the past. My little guy has the cutest little fish costume but my husband approached me and said he doesn't want to be involved with Halloween this year (or any year from here on out now) and he wants to attend the fall activity at our church this year. I so want to go trick or treating but I'm listening to my husband because he is the head of our house! If I can't follow him in something so small, how will I trust him in the bigger aspects of life. Great article!!! Such a blessing to me. :)
1 reply · active 493 weeks ago
Thank you, Stephanie. Yes, trusting the Lord and His ways is always the best way to live!
No, my hubby doesn't want to celebrate Haloween or Hallowed Eve. One thing we discussed in detail was how we wanted to rear our children. We don't celebrate the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Halloween, or Santa Claus. The home can be a peaceful place when all keep their place, and I was taught and determined I was going to do my best to submit to my husband. Long before that day came, however, I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to have to give up my principles to do so.
1 reply · active 493 weeks ago
Good for you, Rach. Yes, if you have strong convictions in these areas, it is best to communicate with your future "head and leader" to make sure you will be willing to submit to his leadership in everything.
Great post! I never went trick-or-treating growing up, and hadn't intended on my kids doing so either. However, it's something my husband really wanted to do with our children. I followed his lead and now we go in our neighborhood every year. I actually end up enjoying it just as much as the kids. We especially try to go to houses that we know elderly people live in. They so enjoy seeing the little ones and I know several of them don't usually get many visitors.
I also never trick-or-treated growing up, but my husband did. He saw no problem with it, so our kids have participated. I still don't really like Halloween myself, but can see how it can be fun for kids and a way to engage neighbors. When I saw the title of your post, I cringed a little, not knowing what the content would be. But thank-you - I feel supported and encouraged that I have done the right thing in letting him decide/lead.
Great article!

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