Always Learning: Do Women Deserve Something from Their Husband?

Friday, October 9, 2015

Do Women Deserve Something from Their Husband?

This post was going around Facebook ~

I am sorry to burst women's bubble but every woman does not deserve these things. We don't deserve anything; that's right. We don't "deserve" anything. This is what is wrong with our society. Everyone thinks they "deserve" something just for being. No, the only way we deserve anything is to work hard for it.

If you want your husband to love you dearly, act lovable. Give him a reason to love you deeply. Learn what pleases him. Fix his favorite meals. Be available for him sexually. Satisfy this need he has and can only be fulfilled by you. Please, stop quarreling, arguing, controlling, and manipulating him with your moods and words. Learn to treat him with respect, honor him and obey him. Allow him to be the leader of the home. Be kind and gracious with him. Appreciate him for all the things he does for you and tell him. Be his help meet and love him deeply.

This poster was shared in the chat room. Let me tell you, this chat room is amazing! If you are looking for godly, wise counsel, please join it. When I was so sick for a few weeks back and couldn't participate in it at all, I felt perfect peace about the wisdom the other women were going to give to those seeking counsel. Someone shared this poster and they all immediately knew the folly of it. Walk with the wise, women!

One of these wise woman responded this way; "Maybe we should make one! 'Men deserve a hot meal when they get home from work, a clean and tidy home, a smiling and joyful wife...' imagine the outrage!" In fact, if any of you want to design this, put it on your Facebook and then show it to me. I could put it on my Facebook page and we could share it all around Facebook!!! What some use to destroy marriages by making women unhappy and discontent, we will use to change their thinking and heal their broken marriages.

Women who expect these things from their husbands will destroy their marriages since expectations are relationship killers. Don't do what this poster suggests, women! When you see something like this on Facebook, be bold and underneath it speak truth to the women reading. They need to begin hearing truth instead of lies that will lead to the destruction of their marriages.

The wise woman builds her house,

But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.

Proverbs 14:1

Comments (50)

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elspethbreathinggrace 46p · 494 weeks ago

-Like-

1 reply · active 494 weeks ago

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Lady Virtue · 494 weeks ago

This is very wise counsel. The "I deserve" entitlement trip so many women are on today doesn't equate with Biblical truth and reality. When a woman's marital expectations don't match up to the real world, she thinks she must have mistakenly not married her Soul Mate, so she then believes she's "entitled" to divorce and then marry The One, because, after all, God wouldn't want her to be unhappy, now, would He?

Argh! So frustrating that the devil has blinded so many with his lies. Lord, help us.

1 reply · active 494 weeks ago

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Diana · 494 weeks ago

Love this!! Excellent!

1 reply · active 494 weeks ago

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lauraashley · 494 weeks ago

If women do not deserve a man who won't cheat then men don't deserve a hot meal. I'm not following your logic.

2 replies · active 494 weeks ago

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Andrea · 494 weeks ago

Wonderful post!

As long as our society continues to teach young people, and cajole women into believing that marriage is about a man treating her like an overgrown spoiled brat, we will continue to have divorce rates soaring; even in the church.

Marriage is not about getting what we want or what we "deserve". Marriage is about a partnership built on Jesus Christ, for companionship and to produce godly offspring when He wills.

The sooner women get over themselves, and stop peddling this garbage, the sooner they will find true happiness in blessing their husbands, which in turn, provides true, lifelong happiness.

They ought to be ashamed for what they are doing to the nation by passing on these lies.

1 reply · active 494 weeks ago

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R G · 494 weeks ago

Very true. I will just caution those who are trying to present their wifeyness in this way, it is not an instant fix. Some men will take all your effort, sweetness, availability to their needs, happy humble heart, etc. and give only complaining, gossip, hurtful words, and other selfish behavior in return. Do not give up. At this point remember you are doing it for the Lord, don't allow that root of bitterness to spring up, and the hurt and discouragement will be easier to bear.

3 replies · active 494 weeks ago

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Andrea · 494 weeks ago

It's also important to note that perfection does not exist. Life is never perfect, people are never perfect. If we only accept perfection from others, while excusing our own behavior, we will ALWAYS be unfulfilled. We will always remain desperately needing to be adored, due to selfishness. True and full fulfillment comes only from submission to Jesus, and an understanding of His instructions and blueprints. Through this submission, God joins two people and with patience and hope, can make two people abundantly happy.

I've noticed the blogosphere, and for the very short time I was on Facebook, that the women braggarts of their husbands (which is far different than praising one's husband) can lead to severe discontent. If a woman gets on FB or her blog, and gushes many times about how her husband lets her languish in bed all Saturday, or how he does so much housework, or cooking..or how he sweeps her off her feet constantly, or buys her treasures, then this can make a woman in a very blessed marriage question, "why doesn't MY husband do these things?" Rather, it would be wise to post something such as, "My husband is such a gift from God. He truly blessed me with a kind gesture today".

We need to portray marriage in a godly light, and keep much of it private, as well. Learn to die to yourself, and the gift of doing so, is truly wonderous and straight from God. It just may not be what the world deems worthy of a fairy tale.

1 reply · active 494 weeks ago

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charlie · 494 weeks ago

Look, I like to treat my wife as someone who is special, she raised my children, she cooked my meals and never once have she complained about anything; if she wanted new furniture, I would toss her in the car and speed to the store,, she is worth her weight in gold and deserves whatever I can give her, now if you want to beg your husbands for the right to do anything,, be my guest

2 replies · active 494 weeks ago

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Rajun Cajun · 494 weeks ago

I critique a lot on here so I just want to chime in and say, "Nice." I am curious. Are you sold out to this line of thinking to the extent that you will say the same in the public arena? I know it's easy to say this when amongst like minded individuals. However, real-time pressure from the world can cause one to "soften their tone" a bit. It's tough out there. Especially when one is speaking what the world considers blasphemy.

Again, strong work.

1 reply · active 494 weeks ago

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Curious · 494 weeks ago

You seem to be convinced that a woman is obligated to obey and reverence her husband no matter what since the bible says so and for her to not act in such manner would be a sin...yet doesn't the Bible also command husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church? Why is the command for a husband to love his wife conditional but the command for a wife to obey her husband imperative? Im curious to see what explanation you have for this.

2 replies · active 493 weeks ago

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Heidi · 494 weeks ago

Wow! Powerful message 😀 I am not a facebook participant, but if I were I would be sharing your post as far and wide as possible!
Glad you are back to posting Lori
Heidi x

1 reply · active 494 weeks ago

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Cori · 494 weeks ago

This is so spot on!! I think someone should design one just like you said!!

1 reply · active 494 weeks ago

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Verna · 494 weeks ago

I needed to hear this today! I've been stewing over in law problems off and on for a few days now. Thanks for your words!

1 reply · active 494 weeks ago

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Anon · 494 weeks ago

It drives me insane when women tell me " if your husband loved you as Christ loved the church, then he would do X for you". Give me a break. That verse is used and abused like crazy. Yes, they should love us as Christ loves the church. But love doesn't always mean getting what you want. I have had some women respond angrily when they find out my husband doesn't help with housework and I do the whole lot. They angrily spew out "Well, if he loved you like Christ loves the church then he would help you around the house!" uh, wait on. where does it say husbands are required to help with housework? that's right, no where. It is a privilege if your husband helps you.

I am aghast at how many women feel they are entitled to whatever they want. life doesn't work that way. and those same women are often puzzled as to why their children act as if they are entitled to whatever they want. ummmm where did they learn it from?

Loved the post Lori!

1 reply · active 494 weeks ago

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Guest · 494 weeks ago

Thank you for this post.
When I first got married, a good friend who has been happily married for more than 30 years loaned me a book about being a feminine wife, a submissive wife, and how that was the key to marital happiness. Being a young wife, raised a feminist, expecting the world, insisting on being treated as my husband's equal and partner in every way (that is - the wife and husband share the housework, income earning, etc.) I was not at all impressed by that book.
It is only now, after 13 years of up-and-down marriage, a separation and 4 children, that I have come to see the wisdom of that book. When I started to live what it said, I got the husband I had always wanted. My husband *is* the husband in that meme above - but he wasn't always.

6 replies · active 493 weeks ago

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Virginia · 494 weeks ago

Great article. I am old fashioned in this aspect. I think we need to make the very place where our husband is the head to be the most peaceful place he can be. Make him want to be home not drive him away.

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Desiree · 493 weeks ago

I get so disgusted by all the things floating around FB regarding how men need to treat their women. And I will always say something to the affect of 'how are the women treating their men'. I know from my own experience what treating a man properly reaps.

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wordsofgoldblog 11p · 493 weeks ago

Not to mention if men do live up to the expectations of this silly list, women grow to resent them and then will become bitter and want to leave them. Women are fickle and think they want one thing but really they do not. Women deep down want a man to lead them. God made us this way and there is no use fighting it.

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shell · 493 weeks ago

I think the important thing to remember is that marriage is a relationship, involving BOTH parties. Each needs to show respect for the other and neither can sit back and just expect certain things (except basic kindness and respect). But the rest requires effort on the part of both people in the marriage.

2 replies · active 492 weeks ago

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Krista · 492 weeks ago

This post has really grabbed me in a way that I can only describe as dumbfounded. I have actually thought about this for several days and I simply cannot wrap my head around why anyone should feel that they do not deserve to "not be cheated on" as mentioned in the statement above. Do you not believe that everyone deserves to be treated with some level of decency and kindness? I am trying desperately to understand what is being said here and the more I ponder the more angry I become. I am definitely not slamming anyone's belief system I just want to understand the rationale behind this thinking. I am a Christian woman and although I do not practice as often as I should I am still a devoted child of our Lord. Could someone take the time to clarify this a little more for me?

1 reply · active 492 weeks ago

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Krista · 492 weeks ago

Lori, thank you so much for your quick response! I wish I was well versed in the scriptures, but I am not and cannot provide any examples if there are any examples to give. I find your blog very interesting and will continue to read through it. A lot of what you write is difficult for me to swallow ie. obeying your husbands. I am not sure I will ever agree with that, however I am very open to learning more on this and all that you offer here. Thank you, Lori for challenging me!

1 reply · active 492 weeks ago

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