Thursday, August 20, 2015

Wives Bear the Responsibility for Their Husbands Becoming Godly Men?

"Wives: God already knows that your husband is not a perfect man. That is why God made in you 'a helper suitable for him.' Genesis 2:18. Therefore a virtuous woman does not waste time criticizing her man's flaws, faults and weaknesses. A virtuous wife knows that her first divine responsibility is being 'a suitable helper' for her man. The reason you don't find it hard to see your husband's faults is because God designed you to help your husband become a better man. If your husband was perfect, he wouldn't need 'a suitable helper.' Every man has the potential for greatness; but it takes a virtuous wife to nurture and develop him into greatness. Therefore stop complaining and get to work. Pray, encourage and build your man up. Behind every successful man is a virtuous wife who understands that it is her responsibility to help her husband become the man God desires him to be."

Man Up God's Way posted this on Facebook. This post has some great points. Wives shouldn't be critical of their husbands but should be praying for, encouraging and building them up but I think it puts way too much responsibility on a wife to change her husband; something most wives don't need to hear. A wife is never commanded in scripture that it is her responsibility to help her husband become the man God desires him to be or to nurture and develop him into greatness.

God actually commands husbands to make their wives the women they ought to be!    Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish {Ephesians 5:25-27}. They are also called to nurture their wives in verse 29.Wives are commanded to be their husband’s help meet by becoming godly, submissive women who obey their husbands, please and serve them. They are also told they MAY win a disobedient husband without a word by their godly behavior but this puts the responsibility on her to change herself, not her husband. Even if he never changes, this is his responsibility, not hers. It is his responsibility to become a godly man. Yes, a godly wife helps immensely but if he doesn’t become a godly man despite how godly she has become, it isn’t her responsibility!

I know some women who are godly women and have extremely difficult husbands. This statement would just add to their burden if they felt their husband’s behavior was their responsibility. They need all the encouragement and support they can get to continue walking with the Lord and praying that the Lord would convict and change their husbands; not told that their husbands aren't successful or godly because of them. It’s the husband’s and Lord’s responsibility, NOT the wives!

However, a woman who is a quarreling, nagging, controlling and manipulative wife can have a very negative effect upon her husband just as a godly wife can have a positive effect upon her husband. Even if she is an ungodly wife, however, the husband will have to stand before the Lord and give an account for his behavior and not blame it upon his wife. If he is a godly man married to a disobedient wife, he will have to give an account for how he led his wife and if he did all he could to help her walk on the narrow road that leads to life since he is her head. We both have our roles and we should be using them to influence our spouses but in the end, we will all stand before the Lord all by ourselves and give an account for how we have lived our lives.

Lastly, behind every successful man isn't a virtuous wife as this man wrote. If this were the case, there would be a whole lot more virtuous women around and from what I have seen, they aren't all that common.

***Photo by Natalie Bell of Cassi and Ryan; 
one of the happiest married couples I've ever seen!