Thursday, August 6, 2015

Should Children Go to Sunday School and Youth Group?


Today, many Christians don't think Sunday school and youth groups are a good place to send children when they are growing up. Our children were always in Sunday school and youth group, so I asked them what their overall impression of them was and this is what they had to say ~

One son told me he had fabulous youth pastors in junior and senior high who led the youth groups; taking them on mission's trips, mentoring them at lunch through high school and teaching them the Word. Many unbelieving children came and were saved through it.  He LOVED it! Our other son, loved it also and felt it definitely contributed to his spiritual growth. All through junior and senior high school, our children would go to their youth group the first hour and then sit with us as a family in the second hour for the entire church service.

One daughter responded when I asked her, "Senior high, I remember having the same benefits of junior high; fun with fellow Christian friends. Also, there were opportunities to serve. I remember being part of a prayer tent at some event at the Del Mar Fairgrounds and that was a growing experience for me. Hume Lake was always extremely fun and a growing experience that I feel blessed to be a part of. All to say, I think junior and senior youth groups are mainly beneficial for meeting Christian friends who are like-minded and having good, clean fun. When you're at a public school or homeschooled, it's hard to meet friends with similar beliefs and strong morals; youth group is a great place for this. Junior high and high school can be confusing times when you are trying to figure out your identity/who you are {it took me until college to fully figure out my identity in Christ and being confident in who He made me to be; that He loves me just for who I am including my personality, physical appearance, and all} and it's nice to have kids from godly upbringings to be in the same place you are and learning how to be a follower of Christ."

Both of my daughters-in-law loved youth group. They had good friends from godly homes and solid Bible teaching. Their overall memories are positive. 

Only one of the couples didn't rave about it. One didn't have any close friends so this made it not so enjoyable and the other one said that the youth pastors came and went so often and it seemed their whole purpose was to have "fun" and grow the group big, without any solid Bible teaching.

In conclusion, I believe that Sunday School and youth groups are okay as long as you are in a solid Bible-teaching church and keep a close eye on the friends they make and how these groups are affecting them. The Bible doesn't say whether this is right or wrong so I believe it falls to each Christian's liberty to decide for themselves. By far, the most important aspect of raising children is the home life and whether or not they are taught God's Words and ways at home. Nothing can make up for this.

Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, 
as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: 
and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
Hebrews 10:25

Comments (34)

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As a homeschooling mother and running a tight schedule, the two weeks when my children attended a vacation Bible school was a godsend. The house was quiet for a couple of weeks. I know a lot of people would find this very wrong, but when you are homeschooling multiple grade levels and dealing with a husband who is nearly impossible to please, you can slowly become unraveled. Now, I know that this has been admonished strictly before, that we are to spend ourselves entirely, but there is a limit, and you need the time away to think clearly and get your brain back into gear.
3 replies · active 503 weeks ago
You know I kindly disagree with your thoughts here. The Bible never says that age segregated teaching was ever done in biblical times and I think had it been the best idea, it would have been done then. It has only been the past 100 -200 years that this has been happening and society continues to decline.

I also don't believe experience is a proper qualifier of this. I don't necessarily see Sunday School and youth as *sins* but rather *really* bad ideas that for the most part, have been to the detriment of the church. There may be freedom...but not all things build up.

Parents are exhorted to train up their children. S.S. and youth programs have made an excuse for a lot of parents to not do their job in teaching their children properly. Also, much entertainment happens in these programs....which is more about self and enjoyment rather than proper exegesis and understanding of the Scriptures.

Most posts you write I agree with you whole-heartedly...but this subject is very near and dear to my heart and just can't agree with you on. I love you as my sister in Christ though, as I know you do me. :) I highly recommend the book "A Weed in the Church" by Scott Brown. :) It's an easy read and very eye opening!
4 replies · active 503 weeks ago
Lori, I recommend the books "A Weed in the Church" and "Family Driven Faith." They are both awesome resources and really opened my eyes to the problems inherent in youth ministry (which is not a historical practice - it is a modern innovation). While youth ministries and Sunday schools can have positive effects on individual children, on the whole, the establishment of youth ministries means that the training of children becomes outsourced to the church and most fathers check out of the child-training picture. (Just look at the state of fatherhood today, and how many fathers are actively training and teaching their children the faith.) Again, this doesn't mean that happens in every family, but it does mean that that is the path the church culture follows on the whole.

Our family moved to a family-integrated church several years ago (children in church and no children's programs) and it was a hugely positive move. My husband now knows that the burden of training our children is on him, not the Sunday school program or youth leader, and he has really stepped up.

While the Bible doesn't say "thou shalt not have youth ministries," the Bible does very clearly - again and again - lay the burden of child-training on fathers. Fathers tend to feel (and become) spiritually superfluous when their role is taken over by the church.

I love your blog and read every post. Even though I can't agree with you on this one, I benefit from so many of your posts!
1 reply · active 503 weeks ago
I don't think all youth groups are created equal. I think there are some churches who take the approach that teens won't like intensive Biblical training so they withhold the very thing teens crave and give them Christianesque "fluff n stuff" instead. They seem to figure it keeps them away from more unsavory activities and they need to keep them occupied with alternative, clean entertainment. I think there's a place for goofy stuff in youth group bc young people need to let loose and have fun but that there also needs to be real, exegetical Bible study. Teens want to know that this stuff is real and powerful and applicable to their lives. Teens don't need to be treated like simpletons. Brannon Howse with worldview weekend puts on an intense, Biblical conference for teens and has had a great response from the teens who have attended. I also think it's important that young and old fellowship together and there's not too much emphasis on segregation but that youth group can still have a beneficial place if done well.
1 reply · active 503 weeks ago
One more thing, youth group or not, all Christian parents should be taking the lead with training their children from the Bible at home! God charged parents first and foremost with this task. Youth group can be a tool, a supplement but it shouldn't be a replacement for he training.
1 reply · active 503 weeks ago
This is one area that I have seen up close firsthand and can now say that I do not care for youth groups. I agree with the lady that said segregating kids by age is a new thing. Our kids have grown up in a church that is very family oriented. The kids and adults are always working together. Most of the kids in our church can speak well with adults, as well as look after their little brothers and sisters. The area that I can see it the most is when we have new families join the church. For the most part, their kids have been in segregated classes/youth groups and they come to our church and have no idea how to relate to adults. I do not want my teenagers to learn how to be teenagers, I want them to learn how to be young men and women of the Lord. I grew up and what would be considered a very godly youth group, and most of my memories are of the boys and girls trading around boyfriends and girlfriends, holding hands and kissing on the youth activities, and this is with strict adult supervision. There was one time in our church or someone took it upon themselves to loosely organize a youth group and boy did the attitudes of my two teenagers go downhill fast. We were getting ready to pull them out anyway when the couple quit. Although this is not a dividing issue, it is something that we take a pretty firm stand on. I can especially tell with my son now that he is entering the workforce – he is respectful but not intimidated by other adults.
1 reply · active 503 weeks ago
I've never commented before, but I just wanted to say thank you for your blog! I don't remember how I found your blog but I grew up in Carlsbad and also grew up going to Hume Lake every summer (in middle school and high school). I have such fond memories from Hume Lake!
1 reply · active 503 weeks ago
This is a subject my husband and I have discussed a lot. We have read books and watched videos against sending your kids to Sunday school/children's church/youth group.

Both of us just can't get on board that they are wrong to do. In fact, I think they ARE needed in the church in the world we live in. I struggle with the idea of them not being offered because it limits the kids/youth that will come through the doors without their parents. A child or youth is not going to feel comfortable attending a family-integrated church without their parents. It greatly limits outreach to kids from secular homes.

We believe it is very important to attend church service as a family. We see a big benefit in our children witnessing my husband and I worship our savior and be challenged by a sermon...then talk about it at lunch after church. Our church does not have Sunday School, so we opt out of sending our kids over 4 to children's church and we attend church as a family. We do send our young kids to the nursery.

We look at extra activities the church offers (like VBS, youth group, family fun nights, etc) as good Christian fellowship opportunities. I think the statistics are reflected by the problem of when parents depend on Sunday School or Youth Group to teach their kids about God. Some parents get lazy thinking that the church is teaching their kids so they don't have to. This, I believe, is a much more serious issue to discuss than if youth group is bad.

The statistics of how many kids living in Christian homes leave the church is scary, but I believe it has a lot more to do with the what happens at home than what happens/doesn't happen at Sunday School or Youth Group.
2 replies · active 503 weeks ago
Our kids went to Sunday School, then after a year of youth group, they (of their own volition) made the decision to skip youth group/services in favor of attending services with us and Bible study at home. They said that while youth group was not necessarily bad, the Biblical foundation they have received from home made it seem superficial and void of Biblical depth. The pastors were great, but there was just always a hint of the spirit of secular school and they felt uncomfortable.

Our young children are currently attending Sunday School. We are now of the mind that when a child turns 13 they need to learn about the word from an adult context, so we'll pull them at that point.

There are certainly churches which may be exceptions, but I skew toward the belief that on the main, segregating older kids by age is a bad idea. It undercuts their ability to mature in the word at the pace they would because there is a natural tendency to feel the need to dumb down things. That's just my opinion, of course, and I am open to being wrong, but it would be better (if one HAS to segregate at all) to segregate young adults by sex rather than age for teaching purposes, and then create social opportunities for them to get together and have fun times and learn to interact with the opposite sex. But I don't think that age segregated teaching should take place once young people are transitioning to their young adult years. They need to learn with adults.
1 reply · active 503 weeks ago
This documentary on youth ministry is worthwhile watching http://youtu.be/J18BP4AbtpI Divided.
1 reply · active 503 weeks ago
We are a family that keeps our child in the service to hear the sermon rather than attend Sunday school. We aren't impressed with the children's ministry. It lacks substance. Also, we feel our (seven year old) child can sit for forty five minutes and listen. It's funny how some adults think children are not capable of doing that in church, but in many schools, kids are expected to sit and listen to an adult for an extended period. We want our child to hear the Word, preached. In the children's classes, the Biblical aspect is so watered down and they frequently resort to silly games and bribes (candy and pizza). This has been true of all the churches we have attended so far, sadly. I read an article recently online called "Nine Reasons Why Discerning Women Are Leaving the Church". It hit the nail on the head, saying the following -- "Children are entertained, not trained. We want their teachers to open God’s word and explain it to them... We want them memorizing verses, learning to pray, and demonstrating an age-appropriate comprehension of the gospel. We want them to understand that church is not a Jesus-laced party at Chuck E. Cheese. " In visiting other churches, we have noticed many rely on children just coloring pictures or watching videos of Veggie Tales and the like. We expect our daughter at end of each service to tell us three things she learned from the sermon. This encourages her to listen closely. And then after that we DO bribe her with a little treat after church, well earned! : )
1 reply · active 503 weeks ago
Though we don't go to a family integrated church, we do keep our kids in the service instead of sending them to Sunday School. Best decision we've made for our family in a long time! I too support the views found in the documentary Divided and the book, A Weed in the Church. This is the first post in months I've disagreed with, haha! I read your posts most everyday, thanks for all you do, this blog is very encouraging!
1 reply · active 503 weeks ago
Lori

I absolutely loved Sunday School and Youth Group back in the day. It was far better for myself and my friends to have bible teaching explained more simply than trying to pick up difficult concepts in a Sunday Sermon where I wouldn't understand concepts and vocabulary used.
We also did very small mission projects and memory verses etc etc. Also, Lori, we did all these things whilst having fun together and I don't think there is anything wrong with children having some fun time away from the adults!!.
Blessings
Helen UK
I can't say my youth group experience was a beneficial one. In fact, I found it quite detrimental. Many of the talks were about not having sex but in talking so much about sex, especially so early (middle school!!), I felt it "awakened" that desire in the kids prematurely. I know there were people in the youth group sleeping around (with each other!). I think segregating the church by age--especially putting a bunch of teens (coed) together is mostly a bad idea. The Sunday School format is more controlled and the emphasis is on on teaching but youth group emphasis is mostly on socializing and usually the burden of discipleship of all those teens falls on the youth pastor. When I think about which families are strongest in the church and which parents have the best relationship with their kids, it's those families where the parents sit together with their children in church and take up the responsibility to disciple their own children. Now don't get me started about youth retreats and camps...those were just filled with unnecessary drama of who liked whom. Yes, there were also testimony nights and there was always a testimony of someone confessing to having premarital sex. While it's good to have those genuine public confessions, I just think there's a danger of promoting more of that. When my other Christian friends talk about there youth group experiences I hear the same things.

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